Iran Sends Snipers to Exterminate Giant Mutant Rats

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Anti-American Eagle:
11 lb. rats. 11 lb. rats. If they get any bigger, they're going to need anti tank rifles to take them out.

IF they get any bigger, they'll start shooting back.

This is what happens when you leave yellow cake out on the counter overnight...

Mr Fixit:
Eh, I've seen rats that big in Florida, the gators keep the population down though.

That's the solution right there. Iran needs to loosen an army of gators on Tehran to battle the mutant giant rat uprising!

Shoggoth2588:

Daystar Clarion:
I foresee many a young RPG adventurer, beginning their quest...

I can't be the only person envisioning themselves traveling to Iran clad in armor and wielding swords, war-hammers, axes, etc. This is the best news I've read in a long while (despite the fact that it must be horrifying for the people living in Tehran)

Everyone knows that the best way to kill R.O.U.S is with a long-sword and FIRE

image

Iran is preparing it's squadrons for president Gingrich's eventual Death Star project (after the Moon colonisation of course). You can never think too far ahead with stuff like this.

Btw why not populate Iran with tigers or something? Tigers with "lasers".

Tasked with the quest of slaying 2,200 dire rats....
Sounds like a bit of a grind.
Graphics are nice though.

So Battlefield 3 was prophetic!
The Rats of Iran WILL KILL YOU!

MASTER SPLINTER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So, yep. Mutant rats. We now have mutant rats.

I'll paraphrase something I saw making the rounds on facebook a few days ago;

The pope's resigned, the economy's crashing, hurricanes everywhere, spiders in the skies of brazil, giant rats in iran, WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING JUMANJI!

At least they don't have to go to war against Emus like Australia did(and lost).

rhizhim:
image

It's probably a bad sign I recognize the show, right?

OT: ...I'm thinking obscure H G Wells book here. Two Words: Herakleophorbia IV X3

CAPATCHA: Poison Apple. Well that's one way to kill them I guess...

These are actually the rats they're talking about:

image

.. That doesn't even look like a rat. It's like a mutated weasel or something. I'd be very worried if one of these things made it to my hometown. I also know that poisons or nuclear can't really crate such rats unless given proof. Still, they do exist and this shocked me when I looked them up myself.

Anti-American Eagle:
11 lb. rats. 11 lb. rats. If they get any bigger, they're going to need anti tank rifles to take them out.

Just for the sake of scale, here are some 11 lb. fish:

image

image

image

AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

I'm glad I don't live in Iran right now... for many reasons actually, but this is another.

Well that is one way to deal with the problem I guess

Well...rats.

Vermin infestation like that is bloody scary. Better get the Planeteers on this one, it seems that this guy is coming back with a vengeance:

image

"What about the R.O.U.S.'s?"

"Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't believe they exist."

Gets jumped by 11 lb Iranian monster rat.

It's almost time to start a LARP D&D in Iran. You all gain 1xp for killing that giant rat.

Caramel Frappe:
These are actually the rats they're talking about:

image

.. That doesn't even look like a rat. It's like a mutated weasel or something. I'd be very worried if one of these things made it to my hometown. I also know that poisons or nuclear can't really crate such rats unless given proof. Still, they do exist and this shocked me when I looked them up myself.

I bet you twenty dollars the rat in that picture does not weigh 11 pounds.

Riobux:
Part of me is incredibly curious what 11 lb rats look like, and the other part loves the idea of having a pet one.

They are the same size as a normal rat, just incredibly dense. They're the neutron stars of the rat world.

CriticalMiss:

Riobux:
Part of me is incredibly curious what 11 lb rats look like, and the other part loves the idea of having a pet one.

They are the same size as a normal rat, just incredibly dense. They're the neutron stars of the rat world.

A dense rat that's the same size?

...Seriously?

Riobux:

CriticalMiss:

Riobux:
Part of me is incredibly curious what 11 lb rats look like, and the other part loves the idea of having a pet one.

They are the same size as a normal rat, just incredibly dense. They're the neutron stars of the rat world.

A dense rat that's the same size?

...Seriously?

If enough of them gather in one place it could cause a rodent singularity that even The Doctor's cat couldn't fix.

But no, the article says they are bigger than cats. So imagine a cat-sized rat. Someone posted a video of a Capybara earlier which is probably a good estimate too but not very ratty.

CriticalMiss:

Riobux:

CriticalMiss:

They are the same size as a normal rat, just incredibly dense. They're the neutron stars of the rat world.

A dense rat that's the same size?

...Seriously?

If enough of them gather in one place it could cause a rodent singularity that even The Doctor's cat couldn't fix.

But no, the article says they are bigger than cats. So imagine a cat-sized rat. Someone posted a video of a Capybara earlier which is probably a good estimate too but not very ratty.

...Now I just want a pet giant rat.

CriticalMiss:

Riobux:

CriticalMiss:

They are the same size as a normal rat, just incredibly dense. They're the neutron stars of the rat world.

A dense rat that's the same size?

...Seriously?

If enough of them gather in one place it could cause a rodent singularity that even The Doctor's cat couldn't fix.

Actually, something much more icky would happen. Let us hope it never comes to that.

The mandatory XKCD link out of the way, let's just hope they get them under control. Rodents of that size can fuck up the infrastructure pretty badly...

"The Iranian Rat (Mus Ingentia) is know to be 25-31 cm high and around 50 cm from head to tail. Despite their size, these creatures only weigh 11 lbs. While their size indicates they have a more preditorious nature, they are just as much of scavengers as any smaller relative. It is believed these creatures evolved from common mice found in Iran, though certain studies have found these rats were actually genetically changed due to leaking Radiation."

Talk about rodents of unusual size...

I'm curious as to how something like that can get so big. I don't think I've ever heard of rats getting that big.

Does it say something about myself or the world that I saw the headline, then read the story and thought, "Okay."

Pretty sure those snipers are aiming to get into the Fighter's Guild. It's always rats...

Reason not to move to Iraq #246,892.

What chemicals are they feeding these monsters? Gamma radiation?

w9496:
Talk about rodents of unusual size...

I'm curious as to how something like that can get so big. I don't think I've ever heard of rats getting that big.

Allegedly, Rats in the trenches of World War 1 reached a similar size.

They did so by gorging on the bodies of the dead.

...Happy dreams now, y'hear? X3

Pshaw, giant rats are like first level enemies. No matter how many times swap their palettes they'll still suck.

Sir Shockwave:

w9496:
Talk about rodents of unusual size...

I'm curious as to how something like that can get so big. I don't think I've ever heard of rats getting that big.

Allegedly, Rats in the trenches of World War 1 reached a similar size.

They did so by gorging on the bodies of the dead.

...Happy dreams now, y'hear? X3

Thanks, that painted a lovely picture in my head. I guess nobody had time to send snipers after them because they were too busy killing each other.

w9496:
Thanks, that painted a lovely picture in my head. I guess nobody had time to send snipers after them because they were too busy killing each other.

Also, Sniping was a new artform back then. Officers were too busy sipping tea and devouring crumpets X3

But yeah. There's historical evidence of Rodents doing this if well fed. They've yet to reach Godzilla proportions though. Which got me thinking - does Tokyo need to worry about a real Godzilla? X3

Just wait till they battle dragons!

image
"...I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

But seriously, that's crazy. No not the size of the rats; right now people are SNIPING RATS FOR WORK!
I'd be jealous, but it's actually quite nice living in a city that's not infested with mutant beasts.

Jandau:
Would any of the said mutated rats happen to be training young mutated turtles in the arts of combat and deception?

McMullen:
This story is a exactly a month too early.

The city council may well have said those things, but Iranian politicians are not renowned for their grasp of reality. Radiation and chemicals tend not to work that way. I'll buy that there are large rats there, but there are large rats elsewhere. They get a little over a foot long in New York, so I wouldn't be surprised if there's some species in Tehran that gets a little bigger.

I have never seen a foot long rate in nyc. I have only seemed normal sized (5-8in) rats, even in the subway. Whered you sees them? Also a foot long rat is much different from an 11 pound rat

MikeWehner:

radiation and chemicals that have been used against the rodents over many years have mutated the typically diminutive pests. The rats currently roaming the streets can weigh as much as 11lbs, and are now larger than the cats that used to prey on them.

Isn't the answer obvious? Start irradiating cats until they become powerful enough to kill the rats again.

Someone dip some spiders in these chemicals and let them bite me godammit!

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