Iran Sends Snipers to Exterminate Giant Mutant Rats

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Caramel Frappe:
These are actually the rats they're talking about:

image

.. That doesn't even look like a rat. It's like a mutated weasel or something. I'd be very worried if one of these things made it to my hometown. I also know that poisons or nuclear can't really crate such rats unless given proof. Still, they do exist and this shocked me when I looked them up myself.

I don't think he'd be holding it with tweezers if it was 11lb.

Shinsei-J:
Tasked with the quest of slaying 2,200 dire rats....
Sounds like a bit of a grind.
Graphics are nice though.

Well, hey, at least the immersion and gameplay are second to none, and the gore is probably pretty visceral.

Mycroft Holmes:

MikeWehner:

radiation and chemicals that have been used against the rodents over many years have mutated the typically diminutive pests. The rats currently roaming the streets can weigh as much as 11lbs, and are now larger than the cats that used to prey on them.

Isn't the answer obvious? Start irradiating cats until they become powerful enough to kill the rats again.

It's curious how nondescript chemicals and radiation can render things big, mutated and scary out in the wild, but will more likely just cause boring old cancer and death when done under controlled circumstances.

Anti-American Eagle:
11 lb. rats. 11 lb. rats. If they get any bigger, they're going to need anti tank rifles to take them out.

A Davy Crockett would be more effective.

image

Of course then the US would have to respond to Iran having a Nuclear Launcher.

M-29 Davy Crockett Weapon System(s) was a tactical nuclear recoilless gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile.

God bless Wikipedia. No one would have believed me that this existed if they were not backing me up.

Ah.. so THATS why Iran invades 2030's Greece in Arma 3..

Tiamat666:

Mr Fixit:
Eh, I've seen rats that big in Florida, the gators keep the population down though.

That's the solution right there. Iran needs to loosen an army of gators on Tehran to battle the mutant giant rat uprising!

Yeh, we saw how well that worked out for Australia :P

I remember reading somewhere that rats would get this big around the time of WW1.

Ingjald:

It's curious how nondescript chemicals and radiation can render things big, mutated and scary out in the wild, but will more likely just cause boring old cancer and death when done under controlled circumstances.

I left my sarcasm detector in my other set of overalls so if you're being facetious, then you should probably make it more obvious and funny. If you're being serious, then that's not what happens in 'the wild.'

It's sensationalism news using outright lies to make things seem more interesting. In the wild it's just going to die or resist the chemical. Unless the carcinogen causes a cancer in the pituitary gland and gives the rat acromegaly, then that would probably result in some big fucking rats especially if it got it while still maturing. But that would be fairly rare and wouldn't pass on to any offspring anyways.

SanAndreasSmoke:
right now people are SNIPING RATS FOR WORK!

Yes, but they only get one XP for each kill.

Now that I think of it, I really want to see one of those snipers tweet this during their shift: "w00t! Lvl 2!"

So, you wanna get rid of...


Then you either use...

Or...

Or...

Duh, Imanutjob!

WHAT THE FUCK?! That's just... WHAT?! How can that actually be a thing that is happening. I honestly have no idea what I can say about this other than what the fucking fuck and I really hope they don't spread. I'm waiting for the pictures of these terrifying death rats to show up. Also; wouldn't this be similar to the rats from Dishonored? Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god.
EDIT: OH GOD I SAW THE PICTURES I SAW THE PICTURES WHYYYYYYYY

Well all they need now is to put up optional missions to kill 10 rats with a bonus every turn in and we have a real life rpg going in Iran

Jfswift:
I remember reading somewhere that rats would get this big around the time of WW1.

Yeah the rats that ate the dead got huge to the point that they would attack the living soldiers in their dugouts.

How are there no pictures? If there is any story that needs pictures, it's this one.

EvilChameleon:
How are there no pictures? If there is any story that needs pictures, it's this one.

Well it can either be due to Iran's strict censorship policy; or it can be a west-block made-up story to make Iran look shitty (not saying it is, but the lack of pictures is rather curious).

Still, ugly business.

Daystar Clarion:
I foresee many a young RPG adventurer, beginning their quest...

Beginning their quest with one of these...

image

That's some impressive starting equipment...

OT: I think we should stop all this political stuff with Iran and send in US troops to help solve this before the rats set up a ratist state led by radical rat ideals.

Captcha: Brush your teeth.

Thanks?

Saviordd1:
OT: I think we should stop all this political stuff with Iran and send in US troops to help solve this before the rats set up a ratist state led by radical rat ideals.

Carrying on with the Rat Jokes, I read this and suddenly I'm thinking this -

TheSYLOH:
So Battlefield 3 was prophetic!
The Rats of Iran WILL KILL YOU!

LOL, the truth. this man speaketh it

oh master of prophecy, please lay onto us your words of wisdom and might which game do we choose to predict the future?

Gilhelmi:

Anti-American Eagle:
11 lb. rats. 11 lb. rats. If they get any bigger, they're going to need anti tank rifles to take them out.

A Davy Crockett would be more effective.

image

Of course then the US would have to respond to Iran having a Nuclear Launcher.

M-29 Davy Crockett Weapon System(s) was a tactical nuclear recoilless gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile.

God bless Wikipedia. No one would have believed me that this existed if they were not backing me up.

I don't know, I think if they had a captured Davy Crocket, we'd just wait for them to set it off and let that take care of it[1], although it might make the rats even bigger :P

[1] If you didn't know, the reason that line of weapons development stopped where it did is because it couldn't launch the nuke far enough to keep the person firing from getting a massive (lethal?) dose of radiation. Kind of pointless using a weapon that took out your army in the process of taking out the other army.

Once again we show that that real life is indeed much stranger then fiction. Also, real life sewers levels... mother of god...

Sir Shockwave:

Saviordd1:
OT: I think we should stop all this political stuff with Iran and send in US troops to help solve this before the rats set up a ratist state led by radical rat ideals.

Carrying on with the Rat Jokes, I read this and suddenly I'm thinking this -

Dammit you stole my joke,you ninja you >_<
But still carrying on from your post I for one welcome our new skaven warlords:

Saviordd1:

Daystar Clarion:
I foresee many a young RPG adventurer, beginning their quest...

Beginning their quest with one of these...

image

That's some impressive starting equipment...

Iran bought the sniper DLC, that's why

knight steel:
Dammit you stole my joke,you ninja you >_<

I was thinking it as early as last night, but I could go on all day with the rat jokes X3

Sir Shockwave:

knight steel:
Dammit you stole my joke,you ninja you >_<

I was thinking it as early as last night, but I could go on all day with the rat jokes X3

yeah well I was thinking about it for a month and could do rat jokes all week.....so take that :P

Tohuvabohu:

What kinda firepower would you need for 100+ pound rats?

But hey, some giant mutant rodents don't seem so bad.

I'm guessing these Iranian rodents aren't as cuddly though.

Awwww....it's so cute. It really does behave a lot like its smaller, guinea pig cousin.

Sniper takes aim in against rat invasion
[div class="caption"]Sniper takes aim in against rat invasion

Geez, a FAL? .308's a bit much for that kind of game, especially in an urban area. A FAL rechambered to .243 or .22-250 would be the apocalypse for any mammals under 50 pounds, however.

Mycroft Holmes:

Ingjald:

It's curious how nondescript chemicals and radiation can render things big, mutated and scary out in the wild, but will more likely just cause boring old cancer and death when done under controlled circumstances.

I left my sarcasm detector in my other set of overalls so if you're being facetious, then you should probably make it more obvious and funny. If you're being serious, then that's not what happens in 'the wild.'

It's sensationalism news using outright lies to make things seem more interesting. In the wild it's just going to die or resist the chemical. Unless the carcinogen causes a cancer in the pituitary gland and gives the rat acromegaly, then that would probably result in some big fucking rats especially if it got it while still maturing. But that would be fairly rare and wouldn't pass on to any offspring anyways.

My apologies for flying under your sarcasm detector, I was under the influence of wine and cheese. Your point about sensationalist news is the one I was trying to hint at; this whole idea sounds too much like several TV-tropes pages.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChemistryCanDoAnything

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NuclearNasty

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtisticLicenseBiology?from=Main.YouFailBiologyForever

So the rats been confirmed to be working for the CIA or MI5 yet? Also I want to know what levels of radiation are in the sewers below a standard Iranian city that could make crap like this happen... also seriously wha? reality check anyone?

Iran a vision of paradise. To be honest its better than just hating on the west i guess they got to have some fun.

image

Giant... mutant... rats... And here I thought radiation and chemicals could only do boring things like simply kill you.

Anti-American Eagle:
11 lb. rats. 11 lb. rats. If they get any bigger, they're going to need anti tank rifles to take them out.

How much is that in kilo?

Owyn_Merrilin:

Gilhelmi:

Anti-American Eagle:
11 lb. rats. 11 lb. rats. If they get any bigger, they're going to need anti tank rifles to take them out.

A Davy Crockett would be more effective.

image

Of course then the US would have to respond to Iran having a Nuclear Launcher.

M-29 Davy Crockett Weapon System(s) was a tactical nuclear recoilless gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile.

God bless Wikipedia. No one would have believed me that this existed if they were not backing me up.

I don't know, I think if they had a captured Davy Crocket, we'd just wait for them to set it off and let that take care of it[1], although it might make the rats even bigger :P

No, the Lethal radiation was 0.5 mile out and the Launcher had a 2.5 mile range. Though there would be some wind issues I could see.

This was the real reason everyone signed the Chemical Weapons ban. I think the final numbers, from WW1, were that if you used chemical weapons about the same number of allied soldiers would die as enemy soldiers.

[1] If you didn't know, the reason that line of weapons development stopped where it did is because it couldn't launch the nuke far enough to keep the person firing from getting a massive (lethal?) dose of radiation. Kind of pointless using a weapon that took out your army in the process of taking out the other army.

I want to see these rats....

and kill them for humanity.

Between this and the scientifically given rat-telepathy, our rat overlords may be coming sooner than everyone expected.

That's... that's not how radioactive mutation works, guys.

I wonder how long it'll be before someone is caught keeping one as a pet.

yay! time to go kill some rats! now where did i leave my sword?...

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