Xbox 360 Players Rated "Best In The Bedroom"

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Xbox 360 Players Rated "Best In The Bedroom"

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A recent study has found correlations between your gaming and all the fantastic sex you might be having.

As gamers, there are a variety of reasons why you might prefer one console over another. Perhaps you enjoy the exclusive titles, or favor a particular hardware feature. What you probably don't think about is its bearing on your sex life, because while sex and gaming aren't mutually exclusive, they normally don't require each other either. Yet that's exactly the purpose of a survey that polled 1,747 participants on the sexual performance of their gaming partners. It's not hard-hitting science, but the results make for an entertaining read, especially if you're an Xbox 360 owner learning that you ended up on top (so to speak).

The study, sponsored by Voucher Codes Pro, was conducted in the UK to evaluate external influences on relationships. Participants were asked to name their partner's most-played gaming system before ranking sexual performance from "Excellent" to "Below Average". According to the results, half of the unwitting gamers were considered "Good" or "Average", while 54% of Xbox 360 players were "Good" or better. In fact, 22% of Xbox-supporting partners obtained the highest possible ranking for being total freaks in the sheets.

"So, according to our survey, it seems that if you own an Xbox 360, you can give yourself a pat on the back for bedroom performance," said Voucher Codes Pro's George Charles. "Well, one in five of you can at least. For other gamers it definitely seems there's room for improvement. And despite it being an undeniably good game, perhaps Bioshock Infinite doesn't act as a natural performance enhancer!"

Assuming you don't own an Xbox 360, what does the study say about your sexual performance? First of all, Wii players can relax, since they were actually a close second behind the 360. The lowest performances, interestingly, were awarded to none other than PC gamers. Only 3% of gaming's Master Race were especially proficient at bumping uglies, and their above-average figures didn't fare much better. On the bright side, 52% of gamers strike a good balance between their sexual and gaming needs. That said, 11% of participants thought their relationship needed less sex and more gaming.

In case it wasn't clear, these results probably shouldn't be taken very seriously. Charles even notes that the definition of "bedroom performance" is wide open to interpretation, which means the study doesn't cut the mustard where scientific accuracy is concerned. In other words, your gaming hobbies probably don't have anything to say about your sexual performance that you aren't already aware of.

Unless you're a games journalist that is; everybody knows belt buckles just undo themselves when one of us enters the room.

Image: Sync.ca

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HA! I knew owning a 360 would pay off! Take your super high PC specs and suck it!

*ahem* In all seriousness, what kind of study is this? Did someone really just want to know which gamer can shag better?

Well, Gabe may be a 10/10 but the rest of us cant be so lucky

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That was one of the most unscientific studies I've ever had the misfortune to read, mainly because:

1) it was an online survey, ie the same place that voted EA 'The worst US company of 2012' and named Kim Jong Un as TIME person of the year.

2) It was run by Doritos of all people.

3) It was created promote a new dip on Facebook.

That said, asking female gamers what they do after sex is an odd way to promote a corn chip dip of all things.

Ed130:

That said, asking female gamers what they do after sex is an odd way to promote a corn chip dip of all things.

Maybe they were hoping a few would answer "Recharge with some Doritos and mountain dew!" then they could use it in other ad campaigns for the next halo?

I knew it! Laugh at me for not being able to mod skyrim will you?

Well i'll be laugh'in harder when your woman is thinking about me! And by woman, i mean hand! Yeah! Take that pc gamers!

Wait, no... that didnt turn out like i wanted. Forget i ever said anything.

*Mulls over data*
Sounds about right.

I got a good laugh out of this. Cute article. :)

Maybe 360 owners just have partners who aren't as picky and think any sex is good sex?

Fanghawk:
The lowest performances, interestingly, were awarded to none other than PC gamers. Only 3% of gaming's Master Race were especially proficient at bumping uglies, and their above-average figures didn't fare much better.

It's because PC gamers have the easiest level of access to porn. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Who needs a woman when you can just tab out of the Witcher 2 after a few in game sex scenes for a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters to the good ol Porntube?

Fanghawk:

Unless you're a games journalist that is; everybody knows belt buckles just undo themselves when one of us enters the room.

That made me laugh... hard.

Due to recently aquired data by myself. I can confirm that this article is 100% accurate!

It's fairly obvious what's going on here.

PC gaming is dying, according to sources that swear they're very reliable. Thus, the PC gaming master race, in a bid of desperation is trying to procreate as much as possible. You don't have time for good sex when the continuation of your very species is on the line. This is not a time for enjoyment. This is a time for PC gaming master babies to be born.

XBox360 owners may feel pretty good now, but the PC gaming master baby boom is just beginning. In several years we shall flood elementary school with our offspring, already fragging away in Crysis 5 with the obviously superior mouse. Years after that high-schools around the world will be home to hordes of PC gaming master adolescents, already competitively gaming in MMOs, RTS and other obviously superior titles of which consoles can only create pale imitations. Until finally... they shall become full fledged Master Gamers and PC gaming will become unstoppable!

It's not too late to join us you know...

Escapist, i dont come here to remind myself of my sexual failures.

Hah take that PC gamers!!!
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Now if only I could talk to girls

Hahaha! Oh yeah, this is definitely not bullshit.

If you take a look at their site you can see they're actually offering vouchers for game consoles. Top of the list, xBox 360. Right underneath is Wii.

*Looks at XBOX that has sat in corner of the lounge, unused, for the past 3 years*

....

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GET IN THERE!

Study based on completely personal opinions put together by an advertising site clambering for views... well that is a legit study if I ever did see one.

I'm so glad that I play all three consoles now.
Now as someone said before ...

Only if I could talk to girls. XD

Oh well the time will come.
Though this article got a good chuckle out of me.

I own a Wii, a PS3, an Xbox, and a gaming PC.

Does that make me some kind of sex god?

Just upgraded to an i5 and 16 gigs of DDR3. No regrets.

Something about this poll seems really icky to me...for one thing, the key demographic of Nintendo's consoles for example aren't old enough to know what sex is yet are either too young to care about sex or, hip, young old people who bought a Wii for Wii Fit & Wii Sports.

The funny thing is, I own over a dozen consoles and yet managed to turn out asexual. Maybe that Virtual Boy did more damage to my libido than to my eyes...

Daystar Clarion:
I own a Wii, a PS3, an Xbox, and a gaming PC.

Does that make me some kind of sex god?

I have a 360, PS3, DS and PS Vita.

Come! Let us rule the world together!

Nope, nope nope nope nope!

It's polls like this that give real polls a bad name!

This wasnt a fair survey. What about those of us whose bedroom partners cant think or answer questions?

I laughed for a solid 5 minutes. If this is my competition, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised when I'm the one who gets drunk-dialed all the damn time.

PC gamer I may be, but my hardware is damn near as old as the Xbox 360 (and it still works, imagine that! How many 360s can claim that sort of staying power? Also, got better specs and more finesse), and I'm still satisfied enough with it that I don't feel the need to build a new one. We're just talking about hardware here, right?

...I always was one to buck statistical trends. Statistically, I should be dead a few times over, so I guess statistics only record the fates of the weak. So... I am the three percent?

Then again, I can't think of a woman I've been with recently who would be able to accurately answer the question posed. There was one two years ago who might have been able to come up with "I dunno, but he's on his computer a lot".

Daystar Clarion:
I own a Wii, a PS3, an Xbox, and a gaming PC.

Does that make me some kind of sex god?

You must be, because that made me hot just reading that, you sexy beast.

News just in; while xbox owners have been rated 'best in bed' they have also been found to have the highest failure rate, over heating during sex with eyes flashing red rings.

There's been a few headlines/stories where I thought it was complete garbage just to get dat view count, but this one I'm certain

That's coming from a 360 gamer

There's been a few headlines/stories where I thought it was complete garbage just to get dat view count, but this one I'm certain

That's coming from a 360 gamer

Shocksplicer:

Daystar Clarion:
I own a Wii, a PS3, an Xbox, and a gaming PC.

Does that make me some kind of sex god?

I have a 360, PS3, DS and PS Vita.

Come! Let us rule the world together!

We shall teach the small penised populace the error of their ways.

Kendale Anderson:

Daystar Clarion:
I own a Wii, a PS3, an Xbox, and a gaming PC.

Does that make me some kind of sex god?

You must be, because that made me hot just reading that, you sexy beast.

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Now why couldn't they have published this while I was still at college?

Fanghawk:
The lowest performances, interestingly, were awarded to none other than PC gamers. Only 3% of gaming's Master Race were especially proficient at bumping uglies, and their above-average figures didn't fare much better.

Having a high FPS rate just took on a whole new meaning :P

Aramis Night:
This wasnt a fair survey. What about those of us whose bedroom partners cant think or answer questions?

Irrelevant: these days everyone has rumble packs.

TizzytheTormentor:
HA! I knew owning a 360 would pay off! Take your super high PC specs and suck it!

And when did you last get to play off-screen? :P Take your overheating adbox and blow it!

OT: I think the link might be correlation rather than causality. Just a hunch here. Also, isn't the 360 the more common platform in the UK by a considerable margin? I mean like I know maybe 2 people in my town that have a PS3 not including me? And then like 4 PC gamers? Then everyone else has an xbox as a dedicated call of duty machine.

Study is flawed and who really cares anyway? > >

Seriously.

It's stupid.

Nonsense! As a psychotic Devil May Cry player (3, 4, yes and the new one), who shan't touch those controller's when I can mash my fingers into oblivion on a keyboard, I view it as "finger-stamina training".

Your partner will feel amazing things when you hit that SSSexy! level in the style meter ;)

Remember kids, always switch up your combo's initially to see what works, always complete them! No animation cancelling, chain them together seamlessly, don't fumble around and don't skimp on the finishing move!...

Yeah, I'm going to stop there.

Then again, this applies to anybody that plays DMC, *sigh*

Daystar Clarion:
I own a Wii, a PS3, an Xbox, and a gaming PC.

Does that make me some kind of sex god?

There must be some kind of sex pantheon here on The Escapist because I've got a Wii, PS3, Wii U, 360 (it's dead but it's still a 360) and a gaming PC. and a few retro thingies too

this is what recherche do now? what happened to the stuff that actually matter
*takes pc and ps3 and storms out*

i think you might have gotten it wrong. just because some kid on xboxlive says he sleeps with a women (usually related to you) every night doesn't mean it is true. i think you just wanted to create a little flame war. honestly though. i don't think your choice of electronics has anything to do with your sexlife anymore than what your choice of condoms have anything to do with your gaming skills.

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