Iranian Scientist Claims Mastery of Time Travel - UPDATED

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'Scientist': "I can't show you the prototype, but I CAN show you the result of its predictions! It predicts that I will be mocked relentlessly for this!"

Everyone Else: OMG, he was right! The machine really exists!

DVS BSTrD:
And here I thought the Iranian sense of humor was as dead as their homosexuals

Reached for the low-hanging fruit there DVS.

OT: I expect this will go down as well as their stealth fighter. Also, how can you claim success at this stage when you'd need five years to find out. The thing isn't even built yet.

MiskWisk:

DVS BSTrD:
And here I thought the Iranian sense of humor was as dead as their homosexuals

Reached for the low-hanging fruit there DVS.

OT: I expect this will go down as well as their stealth fighter. Also, how can you claim success at this stage when you'd need five years to find out. The thing isn't even built yet.

In more ways than one!

I'd forgotten they'd made a stealth fighter.

Adam Jensen:
Iran is no better than North Korea when it comes to their claims. They also revealed this recently: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2274025/Dominant-313-Critics-shoot-Irans-homemade-stealth-fighter-detected-radar.html

Yeah, they expect us to take it seriously.

That picture was a fake, as for an actual fighter with stealth aspects? Do not be so quick to dismiss the idea, the Pakistani Airforce have such a prototype no reason to believe the Iranians couldn't do it either.

VanQ:

"The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight," he said.

Holy shit, I am both endlessly amused by this statement and endlessly horrified by the very concept of such a device in the hands of the Chinese Government. I do NOT want to have to live in that world. I can see 5 years into the future if that were to ever happen because I know for damned sure I'd be at the forefront of the rebel movement.

Funny story actually... but the Chinese actually outlawed time travel for everyone, a while back, stating it was disrespectful to their ancestors... I wonder if they'll keep to that logic...<.<

As outlandish as this is, and reading some absolutely rib cracking laughter inducing posts I'm going to take this in a different direction.

So according to this guy our future is predetermined and thus free will has no place in shaping our reality and we all just follow a set path? A concept I loathe with a passion of an exploding supernova but moving on.

More on topic: BWHAHAHAHAHAHA you really expect us to believe that!?! not even a prototype for fear that the Chinese could steal the plans and mass produce it? If this invention was legit those plans probably would have been stolen/sold to the highest bidder long ago.

~Possibilities~

1: This is the worst bluff in history.

2: The guy is serious and crazy.

3: The damn machine works somehow and leads to Iran becoming the new superpower of the world.

4: The damn machine works, but does something more akin to telling you how your health will be over the next 8 years. So you can find out if you'll get diabetes or something.

Pfft. The Soviets built that thing twenty years ago/from now, and they still didn't rule the Earth/Planet Russia, not with the NATO Time Corps/Resistance Forces to content with. Haven't you played Singularity?

Triaed:
I have a time machine too. Mine allows you to travel to the future at the speed of 1 second at a time!
I can get 3 days in the future in about 250K seconds

That it? I have a technique that lets me jump forward 6 hours in a split second. Every now ans gain, I feel myself getting drowsy and slower. I lie down and BAM! 6 hours past in a second.

-Ezio-:
so. he's created that machine from the movie paycheck? I'm sure that'll end well.

Pretty much this ^^ . All I could think of is this guy watched the Ben Affleck film Paycheck. Funny enough he says he has been working on the project for 10 years. The Paycheck came out in 2003. Hummm. Think we have a winner.

Time travel? Yeah, I feel like I've traveled back in time to April 1st.

I have complete mastery over time travel, too!

I go to sleep, and my alarm clock wakes me up at the desired time of my choice. Now, if I could only program it to make me wake at a specific place AND time, I could claim to be the world's first time traveler!

OT: Stupid people with power. Never fails to entertain me.

So it essentially works the same way as the death clock from Futurama?

The fact that there is no picture of the exulted honourable Ayatollah Khomeini on my wall proves... FUCK!!! how did that thing get there. Oh my god!!! They have gone back in time and conquered the world!

Anyone can claim whatever the fuck they want.

I hereby claim to have the biggest dick in the known universe and my balls aren't a bad size either. Only thing is that if I show it to people then it shrivels, sorry.

Sacman:

VanQ:

"The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight," he said.

Holy shit, I am both endlessly amused by this statement and endlessly horrified by the very concept of such a device in the hands of the Chinese Government. I do NOT want to have to live in that world. I can see 5 years into the future if that were to ever happen because I know for damned sure I'd be at the forefront of the rebel movement.

Funny story actually... but the Chinese actually outlawed time travel for everyone, a while back, stating it was disrespectful to their ancestors... I wonder if they'll keep to that logic...<.<

http://io9.com/5952347/did-chinas-ban-on-time-travel-make-looper-a-bigger-hit-there

Apparently depictions of "present to past" is 'discouraged' not 'ban' (also if it actually was banned I doubt they would actually enforce it). I agree if you travel back in time to some feudal era be prepared to address the issue of indoor plumbing.

"future to present" is fine so long as one doesn't mention future politics.

CAPTCHA: big screen

Hmm, CAPTCHA would probably be a better predictor than what that Iranian guy has.

New CAPTCHA (for taking too long): whoa there

wulfgar_red:
US must invade Iran. this device is threat to Israel

In that case, let them have it. Maybe the Palestinians would still have their homes and terrorism in the Middle East be a small fraction of what it became.

I already have one of the prototypes. It says: "Concentrate and ask again."

Yeah, these guys missed April 1st by quite a bit.
However let's, for a moment, entertain the possibility of this being a real thing. If so, I do have a sincere question.
If I were to use this machine and see my future, would I see something that will happen regardless of what I might do to try to change it?
I know that observing something (my future in this case) changes the thing being observed, so I could only ever be looking at a modified future; the original being one wherein I never used the machine. But is the future I would see set or not?
Because if it isn't set, then what you would see the first time would be yourself, endlessly tinkering with your own future history.

I'm sure the Chinese have their own horoscopes. :)

This is not a time machine. merely a very complex model calculation that attempts to predict human lives via determinism theory, probably be feeding it a lot of information first.
On the other hand, i have a real time machine, anyone interested in blueprints can contact me at scam@youbeenmade.hell

Andy Chalk:

image

you choose to embed a timecop picture instead of this
image

i am severly disapointed.
------------------------------------

well, his time machine will be a guy in a box that asks you what you eat, if you exercise and what your current motivation is.

then he will spill data out saying:"i think its highly likely that you will become fat IN THE FUTURE!"

So he just made a new type of horoscope? This is the biggest crock I have heard all week.

Hey, more power to the guy if he actually created a pre-cognitive computer. The idea isn't without its speculative predecessors in science fiction. Specifically Ziggy from "Quantum Leap" was such a machine. It could predict probabilities of outcomes after changes in the past were made. It isn't really much different than that. Pre-cognitive ability like that would make Dick's "The Minority Report" possible. Remember, at one time geosynchronous orbit was speculative science fiction.

That being said, this guy hasn't achieved anything until such a machine actually is built and is tested for accuracy. And it's too bad he can't back up his claims, the possibilities are interesting.

DVS BSTrD:
And here I thought the Iranian sense of humor was as dead as their homosexuals

that was funny :)

OT: is it just me or does the world seem to be slowly turning into a comic book?

So what? I can travel into the future too, at a rate of one second per second.

It's not even a time machine... It's a limited range crystal ball.
That won't work, and doesn't exist.

Iran science yeah....... Anyone remember the unveiling of Iran's stealth boat/plane things? They are state(Iran)-of-the-art. Because nobody else has even thought of planes that can land on water amirite?

http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2010-09/irans-boat-plane-thing-would-strike-fear-other-flying-military-boats-if-they-existed

I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone reading this article when I say "BUUUUUUUUUUUUULL SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

The problem with this is that it's pretty much impossible to bring information into the past. He says that you don't go to the future, it brings the future to you. That's pretty much saying the future goes into its past. Now it's been a while since I researched time distortion, but if I remember correctly, this could only theoretically happen by going faster than the speed of light. I shouldn't have to remind anyone that such a thing just *doesn't work*. It can't happen. Need I say more?

Oh the levels of patriot bullshit you people are capable of...
Call your local patent office and ask how many time machine submissions they got in the last year, the number will most likely be in the thousands.

That update is worrying... If I had a timemachien and someone said I have it, I sure as hell would deny it the same way the Iranian government does now.
Suspicious.
*puts tinfoil hat on*

Andy Chalk:

image

Out of curiosity of seeing the update, I check this article. So I missed it the first time around. Now that I did se it, any specific reason you chose that particular image?

-Ezio-:
so. he's created that machine from the movie paycheck? I'm sure that'll end well.

Lol, that's the first thing I thought of- Basically, to summarize this news story, Iranian "scientist" smokes metric shitton of weapons grade hashish then watches pirated copy of Paycheck. Nothing to see here.

BlackStar42:
So what? I can travel into the future too, at a rate of one second per second.

Lmao, along with thinking of that movie Paycheck, this idea came up also, although I think there's a deathmetal band that already came up with this invention.

Unsurprisingly this has turned out to be bullshit. However, what's interesting is the question;

What would happen if a dictatorship like north Korea or Iran did create a working time-predicting machine.

Or regular time travel whatever.

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