Research Warns of Crazy, Computer-Eating Ant Invasion

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You know, I was in a pretty good mood today, depressing Denis Dyack-related drama aside. Why? Because I just ended my sophomore year at NYU earlier today, and I'm leaving to spend the rest of my summer back home in Tennessee tomorrow.

I say we take off and nuke the entire South from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

NOOOOOOOOO!!! THE PORN!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ALL THE PORN!!!!! THIS IS A DISASTER!!! *Takes hard drive and runs*

We already electrify mosquitoes and flys, all we gotta do is make a new death machine for the little fuckers and let them fry themselves.

Or we can import some of their predetors from brazil and let nature balance out itself.

Honestly these crazy ants sounds a lot like human behaviors.

Orbot_Vectorman:
hmm... who got hold my lab subjects and set them free?.....

So you are the insidious fiend who created these pests? I had just invented my "Red-ant-controlling-helmet....inator" and now it is useless!
Curses! FOILED AGAIN!

TrulyBritish:

Orbot_Vectorman:
hmm... who got hold my lab subjects and set them free?.....

So you are the insidious fiend who created these pests? I had just invented my "Red-ant-controlling-helmet....inator" and now it is useless!
Curses! FOILED AGAIN!

image

OT: As long as they don't come all the way up north to Vermont...

Though my brother does live in Florida.

What a quandary.

All I know is, I'd freak out if I saw a nest of these bastards hiding under my bed one day, waiting to chew through me electronics.

Fuck those fucking ants! Jesus, I'm already in the hot-zone, I'm scared!

shrekfan246:

TrulyBritish:

Orbot_Vectorman:
hmm... who got hold my lab subjects and set them free?.....

So you are the insidious fiend who created these pests? I had just invented my "Red-ant-controlling-helmet....inator" and now it is useless!
Curses! FOILED AGAIN!

image

OT: As long as they don't come all the way up north to Vermont...

Though my brother does live in Florida.

What a quandary.

All I know is, I'd freak out if I saw a nest of these bastards hiding under my bed one day, waiting to chew through me electronics.

Hey, where'd you find that pic of me?!
Mind you, one good thing comes out of this... at least the machines won't be rising up in America anytime soon.
Capthca: "hello, world"
Oh bugger, they've gotten into the internet already!

Contain them, whatever the coast may be.
I'm counting on the south to dig a moat. A big fucking moat. For the sake of all that is human, don't let these bastards spread northward.

I see. There are a lot of interesting things happening nowadays....very interesting indeed......

Grey Carter:
Even better, the crazy ants are difficult to kill.

On the contrary, sounds like all you have to do is put out some decoy wires running a sufficient electrical charge and clean up the dead ant debris some time to time.

Fire Ants?

More like FIRE FIRE AT THE ANTS!

image

yeah yeah, I'm GOING already.

At least they're eating the wires because they're crazy and not because they're smart...I hope. Otherwise we might be dealing with a "Phase IV" situation.

That is the most metal f*****g thing I'm going to read all week.
Next they're going to drill sunglasses into their temples and start saying
"I never asked for this."

Why don't we just make "electricity traps" for them? Just a box with a really tough wire, say out of steel or something with a shit load of current. Then the ants will just continuously swarm it and die.

Not sure how to make it rain proof though.

Were the ants brought up from Brazil, or did they just migrate from South America through Mexico?

image

Keep that s*** away from Australia. We're happy with the loads of lethal spiders and snakes thank you very much, without anything that eats our computers. *shudder*

hmm.. this sounds like it could escalate. it may be time to think about crossing the pond.

Grey Carter:
When they reach the delicious electricity underneath the wire's rubber coating, the ants are electrocuted, but in their death throes they release a signal calling other ants to attack the wire. This results in uninsulated wires surrounded by balls of crazy ant carcases

Sounds like this problem already has a solution.

Insert wire A into ant colony B.

I'll expect my cheque in the mail Ikea.

P.S. Why does the spell checker not recognize 'cheque'.

Well this takes the term "computer bug" to its logical extreme.

This actually is pretty terrifying. I could only imagine something like that getting into my PC or worse... my SNES.

Oh for the sake of all things good and decent, don't take the SNES!

I see we have unleashed another plague unto the unsuspecting world. Probably one of us dumped a terrarium full of the things in Texas or Florida.

I apologise on behalf of my country. We never know what we're doing.

Ill take my black ants thank you very much. actually, we got red ants and whne they wage war the black ones psuh them back by a sheer number of it. no crazies here.
looks like somone been experimenting with comic book superpowers.
seriuosly, its just evolution creating a species more superior to live in certain enviroment. we were not at the top at some point either. looks like aggressive works for nature.

What are their predators, and can they be brought here en masse without destroying the rest of the ecosystem?

Ah yes, "Crazy ants", the race of berserker ants that are allegedly at war with technology. We have dismissed this claim.

It's...

It's the Zerg!

No, seriously, it's a little like the Zerg. They spread quickly, reproduce quickly, create hundreds of little colonies (I'd say hives) and they hate terran technology.

The y2k bug running late.

image

No one can stand before my royal regiment of fighting ants!!!

Ants that eat computers?

I see only one solution.
Restrict all traffic coming from the American continents and then nuke them into oblivion. Sink both continents.

I don't want any ants in my pc.

Better do it before some alien decides the don't want ants in their machines either and vaporizes the planet.

Fuck. I'm about to drive from Alaska to Florida... ;_;

The_Great_Galendo:
If they're resistant to traditional insecticides, maybe they can wipe out the colony by taunting it with a live wire. I'm sure we can find plenty of electricity for all the ants that want to come chow down.

Yup, simple solution: Take a car-battery, attach wire/resistor and lay wire at ant nest. Watch self-destruction of an entire colony. Much more environmental-friendly than any conceivable insecticide.

Looks like all we need to do is set up a tesla coil near houses. That's easier than any other insecticide.

Madner Kami:

The_Great_Galendo:
If they're resistant to traditional insecticides, maybe they can wipe out the colony by taunting it with a live wire. I'm sure we can find plenty of electricity for all the ants that want to come chow down.

Yup, simple solution: Take a car-battery, attach wire/resistor and lay wire at ant nest. Watch self-destruction of an entire colony. Much more environmental-friendly than any conceivable insecticide.

The problem is, it doesn't do anything to kill a few million of them. To anyone who has been following this for the last few years, they're a pretty serious problem- to the point where the guy that originally ID'ed them mentioned heavily treating an infested lot with long-term pesticide, and coming back weeks later to find dead ants several inches deep with new ants just running across the pile of dead like it was just ant-shaped dirt.

So, "baiting" them with electricity? You'll kill a few hundred thousand or so of them before your bait shorts out, and their numbers will be replaced shortly, or another colony will just roll on in.

The old adage "kill it with fire"? Nope, as mentioned previously in the thread, it's been tried. Burn an entire lot to ash, come back a few weeks later, and it'll be crawling with crazy ants digging around in the ashes. Nuke the Southern US, Brazil, etc. from orbit and glass the whole place over? Cockroaches and crazy ants will survive, and the roaches will get overrun and eaten, and they'll keep marching north. These things are freaking scary. At least they don't bite, but at the rate they're multiplying, are we going to run into a "grey goo" scenario with crazy ants overrunning and reprocessing everything organic into themselves? Scary shit.

We've had some issues with them messing with stuff on our school district's campuses, and our pest control guy being a good friend of mine, these things are a serious PITA. Worst story I've heard so far about them is the fact that they were infesting the fields surrounding Hobby Airport (HOU) in Southeast Houston and chewing up lighting and navigation aid equipment.

SkarKrow:
What you guys need are ant-eaters trained to repair hardware.

Brilliant!

I remember reading about these crazy ants a little while ago.

I hate ants.

When they're displaced from the environment that had unique elements to help control them, they're like a self-replicating plague killing and eating everything.

Those things scare me. The imported fire ant is ridiculously destructive to local environments. Even large predators need to move if the bloody ants decide to move too close to their dens and come poking around.

you know, thinking about it now, I believe that ants are the best (semi)unexplored way for a comic book villain to realistically pose a horrible threat to the whole world. Genetically enhanced ants. Ants that eat just about EVERYTHING, have a weak paralytic bite, and reproduce at insane speeds.

Fuck imported ants man. They're frigging scary life forms when they have no natural checks.

Priest: "My Lord, all around the world people have fallen from your worship. They now bow down to technology instead of to their Creator! If this continues-"
God: "I'M WORKING ON IT."

wikipedia says:

Over recent decades yellow crazy ants have emerged as one of the worst 100 invasive species in the world. Communities from Hawaii to Madagascar are trying to eradicate them, but no one has found a permanent solution yet. Christmas Island is a focal point for this international control effort. It is the only place where the ants are known to have formed supercolonies - groups with up to 300 queens that can contain millions of ants (although new reports on Johnston Atoll Pacific Remote Island Marine National Monument from the 'Crazy and Strike Team' (CAST) from the USFWS have begun to show the YCA supercolony status as colonies are reaching >300 queens in population[8]). These supercolonies spread further and cause more damage than single colonies, and they pose the single greatest known threat to the island's biodiversity. Staff from Christmas Island National Park have worked constantly in recent years to keep ant numbers in check. With help from the Christmas Island Crazy Ant Scientific Advisory Panel and support from the Australian Government they are holding ground.

A strike team. A strike team to try to figure out how to effectively kill them without destroying the local ecology. Yikes.

. . . .so uh, yeah, yet another reason to live in Alaska. Sure, we have cold and bears and moose and wolves, but at least we don't have to worry about all the insane shit that breeds in warm places.

So when will Greenpeace start raising money to save the fireants. From Darwinian evolution. So they can save the environment, from itself. They want to preserve the moment not the future. Which will be machinery and technology so...
Queen of Ants will happen right after the ants get to nuclear silo and then we will get Fallout for REAL!

I have started digging my vault already.

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