Don't Flush Your Eyes, It's Chemical Spillage Simulator

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Don't Flush Your Eyes, It's Chemical Spillage Simulator

Chemical Spillage Simulator

Like Gordon Freeman, but without all the excitement.

Do you regularly hear the tick of a Geiger counter, even when there are none around? Do you have a strong opinion on brands of hazmat suits? Have you alienated loved ones with your insistence on an easily accessible chemical inventory posted in the kitchen? Despite your obvious relationship issues, there is hope. Now, you can find an outlet for your life's passions, as Chemical Spillage Simulator launches June 14th.

"Double check your hazard suit, because you're part of the Special Chemical Disaster Prevention unit," the scintillating summary proclaims. It announces that you'll soon be "handling some of the most dangerous materials in the world that are both toxic and very deadly! You'll need to seek out these materials using a selection of different tools to combat the spills before they cause any harm to any civilians." If you squint, it almost reads like some new Toxic Avenger game. Then you see the picture of the firetruck, and you're sucked back into a world where the "days since last accident" sign has never reached double digits.

Chemical Spillage Simulator is the latest in Excalibur Publishing's crusade to simulate every aspect of industrial operations. It comes hot on the heels of such classics as Underground Mining Simulator, Garbage Truck Simulator, and the ever-popular Farm Simulator series. As its titles become increasingly minute in scope, one has to wonder how far it'll go to fulfil its mad vision quest to simulate the entire world. Wherever your journey takes you, godspeed Excalibur, godspeed.

Source: Excalibur Publishing

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Wu'da fook?! What kind of a sick, bisexual, pyromaniac would enjoy this game... oh.

Yes, this is his kind of game though the days since last incident calender would read double zeros if left to him.

(removed by the National Security Agency)

OMG this sounds so awesome and exciting I can't wait to get it for christmas and play it :D/sarcasm
Sorry it's just that it doesn't sound like my thing-probably quit after 20 min's but hey whatever floats your boat who am I to judge what you like have fun playing it ^_^

IanDavis:
Have you alienated loved ones with your insistance an easily accessible chemical inventory posted in the kitchen?

"Double check your hazard suit, because you're part of the Special Chemical Disaster Prevention unit," the scintillating summery proclaims.

It comes hot on the heals of such classics as...

As its titles becomes increasingly minute in scope, one has to wonder how far it'll go to fullfil its mad vision quest to simulate the entire world.

Y'know, there's no shame in having somebody proof-read your article before you send it out to the world with your name plastered on the top.
It's what I would do if I was a professional journalist...

James Joseph Emerald:

IanDavis:
Have you alienated loved ones with your insistance an easily accessible chemical inventory posted in the kitchen?

"Double check your hazard suit, because you're part of the Special Chemical Disaster Prevention unit," the scintillating summery proclaims.

It comes hot on the heals of such classics as...

As its titles becomes increasingly minute in scope, one has to wonder how far it'll go to fullfil its mad vision quest to simulate the entire world.

Y'know, there's no shame in having somebody proof-read your article before you send it out to the world with your name plastered on the top.
It's what I would do if I was a professional journalist...

Spelling has gone downhill even in professional journalism... I often see horrible grammar and spelling in articles these days.

I shall buy this game, because It seems like a game I could play when I am bored!

Screw AAA Games, CHEMICAL SPILLAGE SIMULATOR GOTY!

What else would you expect from the fine folks who brought us Street Cleaning Simulator?

...I'm unsure if the developers know these games get a ton of sarcasm therefore they are making more of these games or they truly want to make simulators. Either way, it's awesome.

Exaclibur's next game is set to be the Simulator Simulator. You control a crazed game developer seeking to fill every previously non existant niche sim genre out there.

I can't say I'm a big fan of Excalibur's entries in the market. SCS however has been doing it for quite some time, and it has really starting to polish its titles.

razer17:
Excalibur's next game is set to be the Simulator Simulator. You control a crazed game developer seeking to fill every previously non existent niche sim genre out there.

"You have had a brainwave! Slot Machine Repairperson Simulator! It's so obvious!"

razer17:
Exaclibur's next game is set to be the Simulator Simulator. You control a crazed game developer seeking to fill every previously non existant niche sim genre out there.

Industrial Laudnry Operative Simulator.
Postal Service Simulator.
Retail assistant simulator.
Secretary simulator.

The possibilities are ENDLESS!

As a chemistry major, my interests are peaked. I remember chemical spill a speaker from a flavor company told us about. She said they spilled a small box of pure sulfur (its used a preservative in very tiny parts per billion amounts). The smell was so bad they had to evacuate the building.

Oddly relevant product placement captcha: take the tastemaker challenge
Yes captcha, I would like the challenge of becoming a tastemaker

SkarKrow:

razer17:
Exaclibur's next game is set to be the Simulator Simulator. You control a crazed game developer seeking to fill every previously non existant niche sim genre out there.

Industrial Laudnry Operative Simulator.
Postal Service Simulator.
Retail assistant simulator.
Secretary simulator.

The possibilities are ENDLESS!

Secretary Simulator sounds like it could be sexy...

PoolCleaningRobot:

SkarKrow:

razer17:
Exaclibur's next game is set to be the Simulator Simulator. You control a crazed game developer seeking to fill every previously non existant niche sim genre out there.

Industrial Laudnry Operative Simulator.
Postal Service Simulator.
Retail assistant simulator.
Secretary simulator.

The possibilities are ENDLESS!

Secretary Simulator sounds like it could be sexy...

Your thinking of the DLC expansion for the 2014 edition.

There's also gonna be a pool cleaning simulator. Which will also have sexy DLC.

SkarKrow:

PoolCleaningRobot:

SkarKrow:

Industrial Laudnry Operative Simulator.
Postal Service Simulator.
Retail assistant simulator.
Secretary simulator.

The possibilities are ENDLESS!

Secretary Simulator sounds like it could be sexy...

Your thinking of the DLC expansion for the 2014 edition.

There's also gonna be a pool cleaning simulator. Which will also have sexy DLC.

Now all we need is some concept art and kickstarter

Well, it sounds more interesting than Truck Parking Simulator and Forklift Truck Simulator at the very least.

Also guys, stop giving them ideas! They'll make those games and you won't see any commission for coming up with the concept. Trademark that shit!

This does actually sound pretty damn cool. I was surprised it wasn't created by an awareness group though, but literally a company who thought "This would be a cool thing to simulate."

Hawk of Battle:
Well, it sounds more interesting than Truck Parking Simulator and Forklift Truck Simulator at the very least.

Also guys, stop giving them ideas! They'll make those games and you won't see any commission for coming up with the concept. Trademark that shit!

Hey if Secretary Simulator comes out, I don't really care who's idea it was, just that it got made.

Garbage truck simulator sounds awesome.

Some time ago I saw a demolitions simulator. I forgot to buy it and a couple of days later the whole stock was sold out.

Anathrax:
...I'm unsure if the developers know these games get a ton of sarcasm therefore they are making more of these games or they truly want to make simulators. Either way, it's awesome.

There are big markets for these simple simulation games. Germany - and a lot of mainland Europe - in particular has a lot of buyers for that stuff.

From what I can tell, that's mostly because (especially) PC games are a lot more widespread (and accepted) in Europe than, say, in the US.

I played the City Bus Simulator, and it was fairly hardcore. Remembering to put that damn wheelchair ramp down and to avoid crashing into buildings is very hard without one of those Steel Battalion controllers. I played Shenmue, so I already got the forklift simulator down.

But seriously their "Bridge Project" and "Surgery" simulators actually looks really interesting.

Only a matter of time until Nerd 3 does a playthrough to tell us all how horrible it is.

hentropy:
I played the City Bus Simulator, and it was fairly hardcore. Remembering to put that damn wheelchair ramp down and to avoid crashing into buildings is very hard without one of those Steel Battalion controllers. I played Shenmue, so I already got the forklift simulator down.

But seriously their "Bridge Project" and "Surgery" simulators actually looks really interesting.

Bridge Project is actually kind of interesting. But be warned it has a HORRIBLE interface, the building can be pretty counter-intuitive (it's easier to reset the entire design that delete certain parts)

It also feels a little overly-simplistic for a "simulator" but it's still pretty entertaining to send 20 tanks over your bridge design to see how it holds. Get it on a good sale, it's bound to happen soon.

Interestingly this is coming out on my birthday, along with the new animal crossing.

Other than that their simulators are consistently bad quality and simply unrealistic, especially in their driving physics, although it makes Farming Sim good for a bit of a laugh.

The thing is some like the aforementioned Mining Sim are completely unplayable, don't beleive me?

Being a simulator, is it completely possible to botch the whole thing in the most ludicrous fashions?
Can I actually instigate a chemical spill that could wipe out a whole continent, or worsen a pre-existing one to the point that it could do so?
Could I remove my hazard suit and run through a pool of radioactive waste in my underpants?

If so, count me in.

James Joseph Emerald:

IanDavis:
Have you alienated loved ones with your insistance an easily accessible chemical inventory posted in the kitchen?

"Double check your hazard suit, because you're part of the Special Chemical Disaster Prevention unit," the scintillating summery proclaims.

It comes hot on the heals of such classics as...

As its titles becomes increasingly minute in scope, one has to wonder how far it'll go to fullfil its mad vision quest to simulate the entire world.

Y'know, there's no shame in having somebody proof-read your article before you send it out to the world with your name plastered on the top.
It's what I would do if I was a professional journalist...

I've decided to kill someone for every 100 typos in Escapist articles. The voices say it's ok. The voices say it's good. *rocks slowly*

Personally, I'm waiting for the Paint Drying Simulator before I splash out some cash on one of their games. Maybe I'll get them as a bundle, unless they release Game Bundle Simulator of course.

Scrythe:
What else would you expect from the fine folks who brought us Street Cleaning Simulator?

That game was some serious business.

Also did these guys make the surgeon simulator game as well?

PoolCleaningRobot:

SkarKrow:

PoolCleaningRobot:

Secretary Simulator sounds like it could be sexy...

Your thinking of the DLC expansion for the 2014 edition.

There's also gonna be a pool cleaning simulator. Which will also have sexy DLC.

Now all we need is some concept art and kickstarter

Yeah and a few stretch goals, how about 50,000 as a starter and if we hit 75,000 you get babes byt he pool, and if we hit 85,000 you can have a bonus level where you fish a dead celebrity out and hide the body?

I must have this!

I lost it at the line "Like Gordon Freeman, but without all the excitement."

SkarKrow:

PoolCleaningRobot:

SkarKrow:

Your thinking of the DLC expansion for the 2014 edition.

There's also gonna be a pool cleaning simulator. Which will also have sexy DLC.

Now all we need is some concept art and kickstarter

Yeah and a few stretch goals, how about 50,000 as a starter and if we hit 75,000 you get babes byt he pool, and if we hit 85,000 you can have a bonus level where you fish a dead celebrity out and hide the body?

We'll be millionaires so long as we beat Excalibur

PoolCleaningRobot:

SkarKrow:

PoolCleaningRobot:

Secretary Simulator sounds like it could be sexy...

Your thinking of the DLC expansion for the 2014 edition.

There's also gonna be a pool cleaning simulator. Which will also have sexy DLC.

Now all we need is some concept art and kickstarter

Road Marking Painting Simulator.
Tarmac Laying Simulator.
Being Dead Simulator.
Grass Cutting Simulator. (Note: not gardener, just cutting grass).
Cashier Simulator.
Radiator Repair Man Simulator. (Also has sexy DLC).

We all know that Train Simulator is still the best.

When I said "There should be a game where you clean up after the horrible messes you cause in other games", I WAS LYING!

Oh well, at least there's still hope for "Sewer Treatment Plant Simulator" (I'M STILL LYING).

As others have pointed out, what is the difference between a simulation game and a training simulator? Entertainment value. A Singer flight simulator used by Navy pilots would not have hippos in hot air balloons throwing eggs at your windscreen. How is Chemical Spill Simulator even a game? I'm waiting for the first paper cut simulator that I can use alongside my word processor so I can harken back to my typewriter days.

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