Study: Online Dating Leads to Stable Marriages

Study: Online Dating Leads to Stable Marriages

World of Warcraft Wedding Cake Topper

According to science, if you met your spouse online, you're more likely to have a satisfying marriage and less likely to divorce.

It wasn't so long ago that online dating was something popular culture frowned upon. Virtual dating services were the last resort for those who had exhausted all of their romantic prospects, and few expected you to find your soulmate online. But times have changed, according to a recent survey of American households. Based on a sample of 19,000 people, approximately one third of marriages since 2005 started out as online interactions. If that wasn't surprising enough, half of these relationships began on dating websites, few end in divorce, and most are considered more satisfying than real-world equivalents.

While this study was sponsored by eHarmony's dating service, its researchers have had the results published for peer review and validated by an outside statistician. Overall, the findings suggest that from 2005 to 2012, approximately one third of new spouses first met in an online capacity. Most of these respondents were from 30-50 years of age, 45% met on dating sites, 20% on social networks, and 10% in chat rooms. Conversely, partners who met in real-world settings were dispersed more evenly: 20% met at work, another 20% met through mutual friends, while schools and social gatherings accounted for 10% each. Overall divorce rates are pretty close, 6% from online meetings and 7.5% real-world, but marital satisfaction was ranked higher for online groups overall.

So what makes these virtual interactions so significant? According to the study's authors, it's suspected that online conversations make people more willing to share their personal details, both good and bad. Face-to-face communication actually makes it harder to divulge your innermost secrets to another person, not to mention evaluate prospective partners with any accuracy. Of course, that's not to say online dating is always the way to go either. Real-world meetings still make up two-thirds of the marriage results, with interactions at work, bars, or blind dates being the most conductive to success. Meanwhile, online chat rooms and gaming sessions actually have low success rates, making the likelihood of finding love during a World of Warcraft raid very rare indeed.

Source: Ars Technica
Image: When Geeks Wed

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Maybe it's because you actually have to talk to the person and can only see their words and not their good looks. Just taking a wild guess here though.

I've found it a lot easier to understand girls online then IRL :P
And it doesn't hurt that you can take full minute to respond and not look like an idiot.

erttheking:
Maybe it's because you actually have to talk to the person and can only see their words and not their good looks. Just taking a wild guess here though.

And there is also the fact that these relationships start because the people involved already know they have something in common.

DVS BSTrD:
I've found it a lot easier to understand girls online then IRL :P
And it doesn't hurt that you can take full minute to respond and not look like an idiot.

erttheking:
Maybe it's because you actually have to talk to the person and can only see their words and not their good looks. Just taking a wild guess here though.

And there is also the fact that these relationships start because the people involved already know they have something in common.

Oddly enough, I can imagine that the amount of lasting relationships formed from two R34 artists of whatever fandom(s) is higher than one would think. Common fetishes as well as hobbies would probably go a long way towards relationship stability. The whole "knowing them for their personality before their looks" thing probably helps a ton as well.

Then again, I'm not exactly one to know first-hand how relationships work, so what do I know? :p

erttheking:
Maybe it's because you actually have to talk to the person and can only see their words and not their good looks. Just taking a wild guess here though.

Good news for an ugly bastard like myself! I know any girl that's after me isn't in it just for my appearance.

tbh anything has to be better than meeting your future spouse while inebriated on cheap alcohol in a dark club that's playing deafening dance music at a volume that prohibits even basic conversation....which, as far as i can work out, is apparently how we are "meant" to seek to meet someone within UK society...

Sleekit:
tbh anything has to be better than meeting your future spouse while inebriated on cheap alcohol in a dark club that's playing deafening dance music at a volume that prohibits even basic conversation....which is, as far as i can work out, how we are "meant" to meet prospective mates within UK society...

There was a study done in the 80s here in the States that the top places to meet your partner were:
~ Work
~ School
~ Church
~ Friends of family
~ Friends of friends.

Clubs and singles bars were never on this list and still aren't. Granted, in this era there are fewer church-goers, and fraternizartion is now discouraged in almost all places of employment). The whole booze and dance bit is has been part of the social order for easy sex since the dawn of time, but that's not from whence long term relationships ever spawned.

These days, the next best thing is to get into community or activity groups, both of which are also found online but aren't personal ads. If you don't have a church and don't want to go, you can hang at the local community center functions, which serve as a contemporary ...well... center of the community (as per public houses for a time). Here in San Francisco, the cafe revolution has made them into mini-community-centers which serve the same function.

But yeah. Booze and dance don't really make for getting to know someone. Neither, for that matter, does dinner and a show serve as a very good date (since at least in my case, I end up overstimulated by the show and too busy processing what I just saw). Rather, try a low-impact walk in the park after a meal or drinks.

238U

It might be rare, but I'm still going to my friend's wedding in a few months, and they met through WoW a few years ago. Nice girl, a bit manipulative and a terrible raid leader though. Seriously, she caused a mutiny.

Might need to send her that picture. Pretty sure she'll love it.

Well yea... You know up front what they like and sites usually match based on interests. I met my last girlfriend and boyfriend through one.

Sleekit:
tbh anything has to be better than meeting your future spouse while inebriated on cheap alcohol in a dark club that's playing deafening dance music at a volume that prohibits even basic conversation....which, as far as i can work out, is apparently how we are "meant" to seek to meet someone within UK society...

No that's how your supposed to get laid by a drunken stranger.

Sleekit:
tbh anything has to be better than meeting your future spouse while inebriated on cheap alcohol in a dark club that's playing deafening dance music at a volume that prohibits even basic conversation....which, as far as i can work out, is apparently how we are "meant" to seek to meet someone within UK society...

I salute your cynacism and support your observation.

I made the mistake of watching some pointless ITV reality makeover show with my (then) girlfriend. The before/after binary got me immensely riled as they used the fact that the guy was a gamer to a very negative effect. She didn't understand. Television is for the masses, and the masses are being told right and wrong, which makes people like me "wrong", which makes people like me very very single.

I think folk are right that talking online offers a greater amount of confidence to both parties, as online, it is very much personality first, looks second. Plus you meet online, you meet at a place that has a common theme, so yeah, you already have some of the same ground.

Now if only I could find a girl that shares my love for Marillion, QOTSA and APB: Reloaded.

Well their statistic might be accurate but conclusions as always are complete imaginary gunk.

Online dating marriage simply eliminates the "fuck it I'm drunk", "I quite like banging you", "shit my condom broke", "this ass ain't free" and "you got a nice fat wallet" reasons for marriage that occur in real life.
Plus the desperation factor of someone considering marriage with a people from internets is a mighty powerful relationship glue.

i think, for all the cynicism about it, there probably has to be something to be said for matching people based on compatibility factors...its really just the er..."talent" pool that's the sticking point.

all i need to do now is find a Japanese girls college full of obsessive female cosplaying gamers/anime fans who want to marry western husbands with similar interests and i could probably retire on the commission from the denizens of this site alone...

I met my partner online about 14 years ago rather randomly through a messenger search function, which meant when I went to visit her for the first time her friends tried to sabotage our meeting because they assumed I was the worlds most inept serial killer: Leaving a huge trail in my wake as I went to track down a victim on the other side of the country as she alerted everyone she knew of my coming.

I was abandoned at the airport in the largest city in Canada, with barely an idea of how to get out to her small farm town home hours away. It hailed and rained on me as I navigated the transport system.

Somehow I narrowly avoided punching the guy who ditched me but said after "Well I guess you aren't a serial killer after all", but despite that it was a sweet meeting, long in the waiting. She came to live with me the next year and we've been inseparable ever since, and haven't spend a night apart in all that time.

Currently working on improving the returns on our online business so that we can both work from home together and never need spend another day apart too.

The conclusions make sense to me, but I dunno. I met my wife online, but I had to wade through a fucking swamp of shitacular relationships to get there. I always thought it just sped the process, not that it was necessarily better.

I also keep hearing that my generation has used social networking in such a way so that "dating" isn't really a thing anymore and it's just "hanging out". I must have missed the memo and my wallet is fucking pissed.

Jumwa:
I met my partner online about 14 years ago rather randomly through a messenger search function, which meant when I went to visit her for the first time her friends tried to sabotage our meeting because they assumed I was the worlds most inept serial killer: Leaving a huge trail in my wake as I went to track down a victim on the other side of the country as she alerted everyone she knew of my coming.

I was abandoned at the airport in the largest city in Canada, with barely an idea of how to get out to her small farm town home hours away. It hailed and rained on me as I navigated the transport system.

Somehow I narrowly avoided punching the guy who ditched me but said after "Well I guess you aren't a serial killer after all", but despite that it was a sweet meeting, long in the waiting. She came to live with me the next year and we've been inseparable ever since, and haven't spend a night apart in all that time.

Currently working on improving the returns on our online business so that we can both work from home together and never need spend another day apart too.

When I was making plans with my girlfriend, now wife, to visit her from half way across the world, her parents flat out refused to let me stay with them. Instead we booked a hotel.

Their logic was irrefutable. I mean if your daughter is going to meet a serial killer it's much safer she does so in a random cheap hotel than the home where you all live...

Thankfully I met them and was allowed to stay on subsequent visits.

Fanghawk:
image

Im gonna be honest, this drew me on more than the actual story... funny as hell

Though the article itself is interesting...

V da Mighty Taco:

DVS BSTrD:
I've found it a lot easier to understand girls online then IRL :P
And it doesn't hurt that you can take full minute to respond and not look like an idiot.

erttheking:
Maybe it's because you actually have to talk to the person and can only see their words and not their good looks. Just taking a wild guess here though.

And there is also the fact that these relationships start because the people involved already know they have something in common.

Oddly enough, I can imagine that the amount of lasting relationships formed from two R34 artists of whatever fandom(s) is higher than one would think. Common fetishes as well as hobbies would probably go a long way towards relationship stability. The whole "knowing them for their personality before their looks" thing probably helps a ton as well.

Then again, I'm not exactly one to know first-hand how relationships work, so what do I know? :p

Judging by how many married couples produce content with and for each other on HF you're probably right. Of course it helps that along with compatible personalities they don't get bored of each other in bed.

Well, I actually did meet my boyfriend on World Of Warcraft. I didn't think it was that weird (though explaining how we met to people who don't play games is... interesting).

But I can see why online dating might be a good option, if everybody has their cards on the table to begin with, it could make things a lot clearer.

88chaz88:

When I was making plans with my girlfriend, now wife, to visit her from half way across the world, her parents flat out refused to let me stay with them. Instead we booked a hotel.

Their logic was irrefutable. I mean if your daughter is going to meet a serial killer it's much safer she does so in a random cheap hotel than the home where you all live...

Thankfully I met them and was allowed to stay on subsequent visits.

My partner lied and told her parents that I used to live nearby and we went to school together when she was young, and that we kept in touch all that time and I was coming back for a visit. Somehow that made everything okay.

Luckily they never asked me about it while I was there that first time, because I couldn't have lied to them. Though on the second time I visited, when she'd been living with me for over two years, her father asked me about it and I immediately confessed she'd made it up. He freaked out and warned me never to tell her mother.

People are baffling, no?

common hobbies, a talk (instead of a look) before any real life stuff happens, makes it easier to stort out undesited opponents.

Jumwa:

My partner lied and told her parents that I used to live nearby and we went to school together when she was young, and that we kept in touch all that time and I was coming back for a visit. Somehow that made everything okay.

Luckily they never asked me about it while I was there that first time, because I couldn't have lied to them. Though on the second time I visited, when she'd been living with me for over two years, her father asked me about it and I immediately confessed she'd made it up. He freaked out and warned me never to tell her mother.

People are baffling, no?

Obviously their logic is beyond the comprehension of mere mortals as we.

Of course your tale happened ~14 years ago. I think people were even less rational in terms of accepting long distance relationships (because that's what they are, whether or not you originally met on the internet is irrelevant) back then.

Strazdas:
common hobbies, a talk (instead of a look) before any real life stuff happens, makes it easier to stort out undesited opponents.

Let's also take into consideration that when the relationship becomes serious, it's likely to be long distance. I have it from personal experience that after being apart for so long and especially dealing with border agencies, marriage itself is a doddle.

Wait, what?

You are telling me that when two people meet in a medium that sorts them for their tastes, that is entirely based on communication, and that requires time investment with each other before any physycal interaction is possible tends to make stronger relationships than the relationships born from people meeting drunk on a noisy nightclub?

I'm shocked, I tell you. SHOCKED!!

(sarcasm over)

I have met my fiancée online. We lived in different states, a 7 hour drive. We live together now.
She read funny remarks I had made on a social network. That was 8 years ago. Time freaking flies...

I spent the whole day driving to meet her, but luckily her parents were divorced and her mother was (and still is) messed up, so she had no problem of letting her 17-year-old daughter in the car of a complete stranger from another state. (Damn, glad I met her before some psychopath did)

The second time I went there, I wrecked the car... Very far away from home.

We've had a crazy run in the start, but everything went OK!

And I'm lucky, 'cause she's totally the prettiest, hottest girl ever! :-)

I funnily enough met my current girlfriend while extremely drunk in a club, I didn't think much of it at the time, but we started talking through text and facebook, and found out we had a lot in common. I asked her out after a week or so, and now we've just celebrated 1 month since our first date (it's been one hell of an awesome month).

I dunno about half of my WoW guild has hooked up. And 4 of them married.

One of the couples still leads the raids. And they're happily married 6 years now I believe.

I'm one of the odd ducks in the guild, everyone else has a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband.

So yeah despite the amendment at the end there, I believe this.

Same here. Amongst my former WoW guild of around 20 people, we can now count three to four successful marriages, and two children.

Agreeing with much of what's been posted already, I also guess a lot of it is removing the kind of dating mentality that seems to exist in modern Western liberal society. You go on a date with someone, there's a sense of occasion and pressure, as well as the fact that dating tends to involve both people having to be engaged solely in the practice of dating, which tends to ramp the pressure up and mean people tend to be less comfortable and therefore not at their best.

On the other hand, meeting online, be it through chatrooms etc means does away with a lot of the pressure of it being the only thing you're doing. Hell, you can chat with someone while doing eight other things, all of which distract you from the pressure of trying to come up with a wonderful zinging one liner. Also, if you're not someone who always comes across as a social butterfly immediately, it gives you an opportunity to showcase some of the more positive things about your character that you can't really do on a date which is mainly down to first impressions and immediate chemistry.

That being said, it's also important not to limit yourself to one or the other.

Fanghawk:
partners who met in real-world settings were dispersed more evenly: 20% met at work, another 20% met through mutual friends, while schools and social gatherings accounted for 10% each.

And apparently 40% never met at all!

Seriously though, I think the whole "met online" thing is a bit misleading. For the most part what it actually means is "met through shared hobby". It just happens that a lot of modern hobbies now happen to involve computers. What is the difference between meeting through WoW and meeting through a tennis club? All this is telling us is that people who meet through common interests have happier marriages than people who start out with nothing in common. Yeah, no-one could ever have predicted that.

That is an interesting study. I guess ill try to be more aggressive in finding someone over the internet. But at my age, i think it will be a lot harder since i used to be married. At ourtime, i haven't been that successful when it comes to another marriage You can learn more about ourtime at http://www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/ourtime-com/ if you want.

I gave it a shot and it really didn't work out. I'm fine but the experience has ruined any hope for love through the web in the future in my life. I have to kiss you in person to be your man now girls. Sorry to disappoint. <_<,

 

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