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News Room Contributor  Posts: 8061 Joined: 12 Nov 2002     | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2768 Joined: 18 Sep 2007     | ... ... Alright, I'll make the obligatory reference to the passengers in WALL-E and get that out of the way. -- Steve |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1090 Joined: 3 Apr 2008   | Games are not physical sports. They do not need "performance snacks". This is a cash-in for the stupid. If they are releasing food and drinks to "increase performance" in games, I wonder when professional gamers will start taking steroids, some people are that stupid |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2921 Joined: 30 Jun 2008     | Rather...interesting... |
Senior Editor  Posts: 2280 Joined: 9 Jan 2007     | Dude, we have to get someone to eat this so they can describe it for us. Don't TELL me you're not dying to find out what "Strategy Chocolate" tastes like. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3508 Joined: 20 Aug 2008  | I'd say "this is the lamest thing I've ever seen in my life" but I'm old enough to remember all that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles merch and still flinch when I hear the word "cowabunga". |
On the Record  Posts: 6110 Joined: 25 Jan 2008    | Gamer food is not health food, don't you dare try and mix the two it won't work. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 983 Joined: 21 Feb 2008  | MOAR HOTPOCKETS!!!! |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3312 Joined: 1 Nov 2007     | For some reason a certain pixar sci-fi movie springs to mind... |
Muckraker  Posts: 267 Joined: 6 Nov 2007     | Wow. My once feared demographic is now being pandered to by everyone and their uncle. There ARE many people stupid enough to buy this because it says "Gamer" on the label. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 449 Joined: 10 Jun 2008 | Only here can you take trail mix and Chex mix, put it in a 'collectible' cylinder, give it a goofy-ass name, and then charge 3x the amount and the masses will buy it. Well, then again, we are the same people who pay $60 for sub-par crap on a regular basis. |
Paperboy  Posts: 35 Joined: 28 May 2008    | Ok..... This is kinda retarded. Seriously, if anyone says this shit works, I'm gonna hand them a dictionary and tell them to look after the word "placebo". Or tell them to watch a couple of House episodes. |
BANNED  Posts: 12958 Joined: 30 Jan 2008  | I doubt this will replace a tin of Almonds as my Gaming fuel of choice. User was banned for: Poll: What is your opinion on the Metal Gear Solid storylines?. (Permanent) |
Paperboy  Posts: 34 Joined: 7 Sep 2007  | Gamer grub "performance snacks"? Whats next, gamer condoms for that sexy Halo player? Or even better, gamer pit stick so you can smell fresh when you leave your mom's basement and venture out into the real world. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 372 Joined: 1 Nov 2007   | This is awful. Why can't people just eat hard candy like I used to. Jolly ranchers/warheads/sourpunch straws last a long time and are perfect for those times waiting to respawn |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 816 Joined: 19 Dec 2007    | ...Wasabi-flavour snacks? I must admit, I read "Action Pizza" first and thought "WASABI PIZZA?!" |
News Room Contributor Posts: 8061 Joined: 12 Nov 2002 | You get me some of this and I will eat it. I will eat it all, and describe the experience in riveting detail. With photos. ps. one of each plz
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BANNED  Posts: 6317 Joined: 29 Nov 2007    | Ahem, join me know as I cry: OW! MY BRAIN! User was banned for: The hypocrisy is KILLING me.. (Permanent) |
BANNED  Posts: 681 Joined: 6 Dec 2007   | 'Anywhere there are idiots, there are people to take advantage of those idiots by selling them things.' User was banned for: Mom Calls For Ban On Underworld. (Permanent) |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1077 Joined: 26 Apr 2008  |
Bread Cubes = Croutons Some of those things don't even seem chemically possible, like Strawberry Jelly Chips. Jelly melts if you keep it outside for too long. Even more scary is that you're supposed to eat it like you would a chip. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2892 Joined: 6 Mar 2008 | I'm still waiting for "RPG Reuben & Waffle Fries" and "Survival Horror Steak 'n' Cheese"... |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1812 Joined: 8 Apr 2008    | The potential names alone could skyrocket this product into success! Frag and Cheese! EDIT: Screw it, "Shmup Berries" is a trademark of mine, no stealing! |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3508 Joined: 20 Aug 2008 | For what it's worth, Mountain Dew Game Fuel was awesome. It also didn't go too over the top with the gamer-marketing ploy. I could live with the Master Chief on my sort-of-orangy caffeine delivery device. |
Muckraker Posts: 267 Joined: 6 Nov 2007 |
It was actually a recycled mountain dew flavor called "Octane" that didn't last too long in stores. That took that and slapped Master Chief on and and BOOM, hotcakes baby. |
Beat Writer Posts: 136 Joined: 2 Apr 2008   | Wait... Food in a bottle? Are these guys Canadian? Imagine a store clerk's face if you asked for a bottle of snacks and a bag of milk. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1054 Joined: 14 Dec 2007  | Hmmm. A new type of food that the creators say is really good for you and gives you tons of energy, yet nobody knows what is actually in it? I can't quite place my finger on it, but this reminds me of something else. If only I could remember.... Ah well. At least I'll have something to go with my Asian Experience.
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BANNED Posts: 6317 Joined: 29 Nov 2007 | Philly Cheater Steak sammiches. Instead of yelling, "HAXXORZ!" You just throw philly cheese steak at them. User was banned for: The hypocrisy is KILLING me.. (Permanent) |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3664 Joined: 21 Jan 2008   | Hmm, all this talk of food made me hungry... so I went and made myself a sandwich. It's not going to work, but it is funny nonetheless. OH, and Malygris, hurry up and tell us how it tastes! |
Muckraker  Posts: 228 Joined: 27 Jul 2008    |
Yeah, that's accurate. |
BANNED Posts: 12958 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 |
I myself prefer Powerthirst User was banned for: Poll: What is your opinion on the Metal Gear Solid storylines?. (Permanent) |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 92 Joined: 9 Sep 2008    | Powerthirst!! Makes you have 400 babies!! |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1077 Joined: 26 Apr 2008 | A Shocking Development... |
Beat Writer  Posts: 170 Joined: 16 Sep 2008  | i think the wrapper might be the healthiest part of it. |
BANNED Posts: 12958 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 |
Is it just me, or are they going steadily more insane? User was banned for: Poll: What is your opinion on the Metal Gear Solid storylines?. (Permanent) |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1077 Joined: 26 Apr 2008 |
Yeah, they are. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. |
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Gamer Grub: More Crap You Can Shovel Into Your Face
Gamer Grub, which is apparently some kind of food in a bottle, has been named the official snack food of the 2008 World Cyber Games USA, even though it doesn't seem entirely clear just what exactly the stuff is.
Produced by Biosilo Foods, Gamer Grub is a "great tasting, healthy line of performance snacks" that will debut in the Tournament Area and Player Lounge at the E for All show in Los Angeles, running October 3-5. "We are extremely excited to partner with Gamer Grub in enhancing the World Cyber Games experience," said World Cyber Games USA General Manager Michael Arzt. "We believe that this new performance snack product will be a great asset to gamers worldwide and could be considered a new peripheral category for the gaming market."
The snack stuff comes in four different flavors, including - and I'm not making these up - Action Pizza, Racing Wasabi, Strategy Chocolate and Sports PB&J. More disconcerting still is what's actually inside the bottles: Action Pizza, for instance, contains "Pizza Cashews & Pitas, Tomato Sesame Sticks, Tomato Almonds, Cheese Pitas and Mozzarella Peanuts," while the Sports PB&J is "Peanuts, Peanut Butter Chips, Strawberry Jelly Chips and Bread Cubes." But what the hell happened to "MMOG Pepsi and Doritos?"
Gamer Grub is also being advertised as a healthy snack in very gamer-specific ways. "Gamer Grub is a great tasting snack that boosts your core gaming systems - such as visual input, cognitive processing, signal transmission and muscle reflexes," the company website says. "Scientifically formulated with essential nutrients and vitamins, Gamer Grub provides a healthy, great tasting snack mix that supports fast reaction times for maximum gaming performance. Eat well and prosper."
At first I thought this stuff was some kind of liquid or paste, like old-time astronaut food you could just squeeze and swallow. On closer inspection, however, it actually appears to be more of a trail mix for the digital era, made from ingredients ranging from the weird (mozzarella peanuts) to the weird and potentially dangerous (strawberry jelly chips and bread cubes). Assuming its debut at E for All isn't a complete train wreck, Gamer Grub will go on sale online and at various retail outlets sometime in 2009. Just what the world needs - a performance snack for people who sit on their asses. Yum!
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