Max Payne Movie Not Doing So Well

Bad news for fans hoping to finally see a videogame movie that doesn't suck: Max Payne apparently does.

Critics have savaged the film, missing no opportunity to turn its name into increasingly tiresome plays on the movie-going experience. Max Payne has thus far earned a Metacritic score of 30, better than any Uwe Boll film but still lower than Doom. The best score recorded thus far is a 67 from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, which called it "A dumb film with a great conceptual hook from a director who visualizes better than he dramatizes," but from there things get ugly.

"Stylishly made, armed to the teeth and ludicrous in the extreme." - Variety

"A grindingly inert death-wish thriller." - Entertainment Weekly

"This stylish-looking but derivative, vacuous and bullet-riddled movie inflicts maximum pain." - USA Today

"Miserable, in every sense of the word." - Los Angeles Times

It goes on from there. And while it's sometimes easy to dismiss movie critics as out of touch with audiences, user voting hasn't been much better. 18 user votes have added up to a score of 6.3, but based on the comments it's not too much of a leap to assume that fanboy voting is carrying the day. Of the five commented votes, there have been scores of 2, 3, 5 and two 10s.

Which isn't to suggest that you should throw up your hands in despair and pray for Prince of Persia; fans of the Max Payne games may very well find something to like, and dismissing a movie out of hand based solely on reviews is a surefire way to miss out on some hidden gems. If nothing else, you'll certainly feel like you got your money's worth in quantity, if not quality: As Ain't It Cool News said, "The damn thing's 85 minutes and you swear you've been in there for about two and a half hours by the time it's over." That's sort of good... right?

Max Payne hits theaters today, and if you actually do want to see it, I suggest you move quickly.

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There is no Devil or demons in the game. This is a reverse Doom, putting things in that don't belong and ruining the idea of a revenge fueled decent in to madness. Calling it Max Payne doesn't make it Max Payne.

Well, I kind of expected it to suck. I'll go see it regardless though, if it looks good, then why not?

i knew it would do bad, it is inevitable for movie games

This is me shocked.

Malygris:
Max Payne has thus far earned a Metacritic score of 30, better than any Uwe Boll film but still lower than Doom.

This is sad and hilarious at the same time. There should be ads saying "[Max Payne] is Uwe Boll's best film yet!"

Oh who didn't see this coming? Name one good video game based movie...

I'm waiting...

Yeah, that's what I thought. Turning an interactive game into a movie completely takes the wonderment of video games out of the experience. It would take a dynamite director, an even better writer (Or team of writers), and a good game choice to pull this off.

Max Payne, I'm so sorry they did this to you. At least your games are still great.

BEWARE: Sort-of-mild spoilers. You should be alright though.

It was okay. I'll say that. I haven't played the game before though so i have no idea how close or different it is. The angel/demony guys aren't actually 'real' in the movie and I thought that was pretty cool. There was good action but not too much (well, you can never have too much action but you know what I mean) but the acting was a bit shabby in a few places and there were a few corny 'dead wife and family' scenes that seemed as though they'd been copied from some other movie.

I think the main reason to go see this movie is because it's on the big screen, I imagine it would be kind of lame seeing it at home. Overall, I'd give it an 'Eh' ,which just so happens to be one level better than 'Meh'.

I don't get why people are saying that they expected it to be shit, but are still planning on seeing it. If its shit, then don't support it, and let the producers know that they are assholes.

The New York Times gave it a decent review. The review was at least as good, and probably better, than the one they gave Rock N Rolla.

Although it's possible Rock N Rolla is an altogether worse movie. Anyway, I think it'll find a comfortable home in my Netflix Queue in 4 months when it comes out on DVD.

It better be worth it... I'm a broke college student who's best friend is forcing him to go see the movie tonight instead of going to a party... Argh

Well I saw this one coming from a mile away. I won't even bother renting this.

I still want to see it. I was hoping, probably unreasonably, that it would resonate with mainstream audiences and be the big breakthrough videogame movie we've all been waiting for, but I can't say I'm surprised it's taking such an ass-kicking. Bear in mind that there was considerable debate over the original Max Payne game itself, which in many people's eyes couldn't decide whether it was parody or just hopelessly overwrought. Max Payne 2 blurred the lines even further by introducing more effective pathos to the story while at the same time poking fun at itself with the addition of external elements like Dick Justice. It's almost inevitable that something would be lost in the translation to the big screen.

Why am I not surprised. Mark wouldn't even play the games!

tendo82:
The New York Times gave it a decent review. The review was at least as good, and probably better, than the one they gave Rock N Rolla.

Although it's possible Rock N Rolla is an altogether worse movie. Anyway, I think it'll find a comfortable home in my Netflix Queue in 4 months when it comes out on DVD.

Rock'n'Rolla was a good film; Not guy Ritchies best but a good film none the less (though only if u like that style of london gangster film)

Cousin_IT:
Rock'n'Rolla was a good film; Not guy Ritchies best but a good film none the less (though only if u like that style of london gangster film)

If it has anything that can compare to Vinny Jones and his desert eagle point five-o then you can bet I will be seeing it.

Bah, i was looking forward to Max Payne!

I was wondering how this would do. There's very few movies from games that are actually good, I was so hoping this would be one of them.

I'm still going to go see it, in all honesty, a video game movie really is solely made for the people that enjoy the source material (usually), with very many exceptions. This is one of those movies that it may take a real fan to enjoy, for instance, I liked Hitman, everyone else I know, hated it. The difference : I am a fan of the games, everyone else sucks.

Video game movies are a genre too, and you would break the genre by making it good.

I'm distrustful of most movie critics by nature, so I still plan on going out to see the movie and make up my own mind about it. I was really hoping from the previews that it had the potential to be good, and we'll have to see if I was even close to being right...

Ya know, I'm surprised some people are still going to see the movie after they said it's been "PG-13'd - and that the uncut version will be released later" - I want to see my Max do all the R rated things he was supposed to do damnit. This is why Live Free or Die hard sucked in theaters but was great on DVD/Blu-Ray.

Boober the Pig:
There is no Devil or demons in the game. This is a reverse Doom, putting things in that don't belong and ruining the idea of a revenge fueled decent in to madness. Calling it Max Payne doesn't make it Max Payne.

There aren't any in the movie, either. The "demons" you see in the previews are hallucinations.

I saw the movie last night. It wasn't bad-- I honestly thought the bullet-time sequences made the movie worth watching.

Then again, I was high.

The problem with Max pain is that the game is BASICALLY one gigantic movie reference/homage with an original plot. It's hard to make that into a good movie.

PedroSteckecilo:
The problem with Max pain is that the game is BASICALLY one gigantic movie reference/homage with an original plot. It's hard to make that into a good movie.

I don't think so. Rather than making a movie that is an homage to the game, you make a movie that uses the games plot to pay homage to classic film noir. Ironically, it would have been true to the game to shift the inspiration for the movie away from it.

UWE BOLL MADE MAX PAYNE?

Guess i'm not seeing that.

Max Payne should've been EASY to make into a goddamned movie, it's a CRIME thriller. Admittedly the story was too long for one movie, but you could've easily split it into two movies in Kill Bill move- Movie one goes from Max's setup to his assault on the Mafia Mansion and ends with his cliffhanger drug overdose by Horne, movie two picks up with his eventual survival, investigation into Valkyr, confrontation with the Inner Circle and then assault on Aesir Corp. You could've made the goddamned movie almost VER-BAT-UM - obviously streamlining certain parts, such as the Mafia hotel.

Let me show you the groundwork, right now.

Open subway, dramatic grizzled monologue. Flashback, Death of Max's family. Inset subway shootout and the death of Alex. Max escapes to Mafia hotel, cover is blown, max escapes hotel, meets the Russian who hooks Max up with guns to take out the Italians (skip the shipyards). Max assaults Ragnarok and meets Mona after killing Lupino. (skip the restaurant)Max assaults Mafia Mansion, movie ends with Horne sticking max with Valkyr Needle.

MOVIE TWO

Opens with grizzled monologue, pyschadelic hallucination flashback of familys death, Max comes to in his own blood. Max investigates Blue Steel, confronts BB after trying to contact him to clear his name (rather then BB contacting HIM), Max is contracted by Woden and assaults Aesir Corp (skipping the escape of Hornes hit on the inner circle). Max fights his way to the top, same ending as the game.

DONE. HOW F**KING HARD WAS THAT?

Good Lord those reviews were shiteful.

If you wanted it to be an exact reproduction of the game you were always going to be disappointed, and are also a fucking idiot. The story is quite well adapted, while not being an identical copy is still quite faithful to the game's. It's a quite well done Hollywood Film Noir. (actual French Film Noir can be quite painful, dragging on and on and on and on.)

Max Payne sucked more than Doom?! I wasn't sure that was possible.

What Uwe to Boll me over with some shocking (SHOCKING, I say!) news. Max Payne...lousy? WATFO*? I suppose next you're going to tell me that Alone in the Dark, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and every other movie based on video games was less than perfect cinema.

*What Are The Fucking Odds? (apologies to ESPN's Bill Simmons, from whom I stole the line)

Like this was a surprise to anyone.

though I barely followed it at all, what I saw did look enjoyable. Maybe I'll see it sometime, not in theatres, maybe on DVD or Blu-ray at a party or something.

I thought it would be okay because I could recognize scenes from the game and I didn't know it was a Uwe Boll flick.

Also it didn't go directly to DVD like Uwe's other shit.