Max Payne Movie Not Doing So Well

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What Uwe to Boll me over with some shocking (SHOCKING, I say!) news. Max Payne...lousy? WATFO*? I suppose next you're going to tell me that Alone in the Dark, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and every other movie based on video games was less than perfect cinema.

*What Are The Fucking Odds? (apologies to ESPN's Bill Simmons, from whom I stole the line)

It's pronounced "Ooh-Veh". That's right, you pronounced something wrong over the internet, with typing.
As cornor, I am pleased to grant you a cookie, and one internet(s).

Uwe Boll had nothing to do with this movie (if IMDB is correct), it was directed by John Moore (Behind Enemy Lines, Flight of the Phoenix).

I haven't seen it yet but I think it'll be worth a rental.

Ugh. Not worth the money i didn't spend on it.... But sexdrive was good!

My local paper gave it 3 out of 4 stars, then again, no surprise, I can't really trust them, I love 21 and they only gave it a 1.5 out of 4.

Where did this "uwe boll" thing come from? He had nothing to do with the movie.

Damn it not AGAIN. Can we have a videogame movie that doesn't suck eventually? Hitman, awful, Silent Hill, terrible, Alone in the Dark, diseased. I mean come on now, if nobody can do it can they please stop trying?

Surprise, surprise.

The New York Times gave it a decent review. The review was at least as good, and probably better, than the one they gave Rock N Rolla.

Although it's possible Rock N Rolla is an altogether worse movie. Anyway, I think it'll find a comfortable home in my Netflix Queue in 4 months when it comes out on DVD.

Indeed. I wrote the following comment a while back in response to a review of RockNRolla on Giant Realm:

Guy, Guy, Guy.

This is not 1991! Rock'N'Rolla isn't Trainspotting! You can't make a film about a British bank heist because British bank heist movies are about as trendy as the new wave of indie. You can no longer get the chronology in a film mixed up and attempt to explain the plot through 'clever' subtext! Even Tarantino has given that up! What's wrong with you, Richie!? Please keep up, otherwise you risk growing as stale as your wife!

Still stands true. Although Max Payne attempts to use just as many cliches, except perhaps with a little more style.

tsk tsk When will Hollywood ever learn?

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