Cooking Mama: The PETA Version

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are celebrating Thanksgiving this year by treating us to their own special Flash-based edition of Cooking Mama, called Mama Kills Animals.

The Thanksgiving holiday in the U.S. is celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November, culminating in a massive, gut-busting, pants-splitting turkey feast. Predictably, PETA has a few issues with the carnivorous aspects of the holiday, and has decided to take advantage of Flash technology and the internet to remind us that there's enough gazpacho for everyone. In Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals, players engage in a wide variety of simple mini-games as they prepare the turkey for the big meal, including plucking the feathers, ripping out the guts and hacking off the head.

Like all good games, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals offers bonuses for advancing through the levels, and as befits a true PETA promotion, the very first bonus is a video that includes footage of turkeys crammed together in massive industrial farming operations, being clubbed to death, hung upside down and having their throats slit while they're still alive, all in a very vivid shade of abattoir red. Later bonuses are somewhat less graphic, including things like hi-res Mama Kills Animals wallpaper and a web banner for folks who support the cause.

I'm a pretty big fan of animals myself, and in a broad sense I support a lot of what PETA is trying to accomplish, but I have to admit that despite the grim subject matter this game is nothing short of hilarious. Ramming cartoon stuffing that looks more like a monstrous cat hairball into the gaping arse of a mutilated turkey is a singularly unique experience, and being screamed at by a frenzied, blood-drenched Cooking Mama for not being mean enough to the birds just never gets tired. Unfortunately for PETA, the moralizing does: The moment the game told me Cooking Mama had learned the error of her ways and instructed me to "mash the tofu," I quit.

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You're kidding...

Wow, that's surprisingly well done. I don't think it really communicates everything they're going for, and it definitely has too much "whacko" in it in places (the cracked eggs bleed? Please.) but it's definitely an impressive effort.

I'm a big fan of animals too. Usually at Medium Well.

IS it wrong that this thread makes me hungry?

Virgil:
it definitely has too much "whacko" in it

This sums up PETA.

They're graduating from the "going overboard" school of propaganda to "the big lie".

Cool! I'm part of PETA too!
It's People for the Eating of Tasty Animals, right?

Just to confirm, I've got nothing against vegitarians on an individual scale but.

Hey PETA! I LOVE EATING DEAD ANIMALS! Take your self righteousness and shove it up your hipocritical lying pet murdering asses.

I wonder if the makers of Cooking Mama have any intentions of suing the hell out of PETA for what looks very much like a copyright violation. I mean, they are using the name, similar imagery, similar gameplay... it's easy to mistake this for something actually endorsed by the original makers. That looks like a gimme lawsuitt.

This looks more fun than the real version. I guess that means it could be a big backfire. It does look like they could have copyright issues there too, but I'm not going to pretend to know anything about those.

Bacon.

BaconbaconbaconbaconBACON!

That, more than any lame propagandistic rip-off of Cooking Mama (which should get their sagging glutes sued into the ground, in my opinion), is why I'll never support PETA.

-- Steve

Virgil:
Wow, that's surprisingly well done. I don't think it really communicates everything they're going for, and it definitely has too much "whacko" in it in places (the cracked eggs bleed? Please.) but it's definitely an impressive effort.

I'm a big fan of animals too. Usually at Medium Well.

I like mine bloody...

I feel like some turkey now, and I don't even celebrate thanksgiving!

Anyone wanna take bets on how crazy PETA's next zany plan to persuade (and I use that term very loosely) us to not eat naturally?

Well that was a fun few minutes. I want more levels.
Anyway I think the bleeding eggs and feathers took it beyond a statement into the realms of silliness.

I think the only truly good thing about this is that this opens up a wonderful counterpoint game in the form of "Hamster Mama: Mama eats her own offspring"

Does that make any sense? Not really, but neither does PETA

I´m actually vegetarian, and i have no problems with meat-eaters as long as they accept what they are doing like you.
what i hate are these hippie-girlie "OMG ANIMALS ARE TREATED CUREL... im hungry lets go to mcdonalds"-flower-meateaters.

Does PeTA have any idea how nature works? Nature is far more cruel than humanity is. Half of all prey animals in the wild are eaten while they are still partially alive or have to suffer slow horrible deaths. They do realize that the animals we raise for livestock are practically immune from extinction? yes there are many animals that suffer before they are butchered, and those responsible should be punished, these are the animals raised in factory settings. Animals raised outside on natural foods live better lives and taste better too. They are killed quickly and humanely, and help to feed humanity.

Man I totally suck at this game, I only got meaner than mamma twice.

Why they didn't combine their various campaigns and make it "Cooking Mama Kills Sea Kittens" is beyond me. Other than it might make people hungry for sea kittens and chips, or poached sea kitten, or even raw sea kitten.

Hunde Des Krieg:
Does PeTA have any idea how nature works? Nature is far more cruel than humanity is. Half of all prey animals in the wild are eaten while they are still partially alive or have to suffer slow horrible deaths. They do realize that the animals we raise for livestock are practically immune from extinction? yes there are many animals that suffer before they are butchered, and those responsible should be punished, these are the animals raised in factory settings. Animals raised outside on natural foods live better lives and taste better too. They are killed quickly and humanely, and help to feed humanity.

i dont think that it is cruel to kill animals, but thinks it is cruel how they are held and killed (the WAY of killing matters here)

Brilliant fun I enjoyed massacring a turkey with the help of a homicidal little women. FUN the brilliant thing is I just sent this to my PETA loving "friend" and she belives that something so horrible could be made by peta oh well this game has now taught me how to cook a Turkey now I just need to find one and rip out its innards happy days

Why are they picking on Cooking Mama? Because the game has meat in it? Now I understand why lawsuits exist.

Plants emit the chemical equivalent of a scream, that means they suffer the entire time you eat them.

While they don't process it like we do, certain responses (ex. THC in Cannibis, it's a defense mechanism) show that plants are CLEARLY averse to being eaten. Sorry, Vegitables want to provide you with energy about as much as animals do, they just don't feel pain in the same manner we do. The only things that "want" you to eat them are fruit trees, and that's only to disperse seeds.

plants dont feel pain nor have emotions, that being said, i could easily slaughter and eat half of hollywood (ba-dum-tish)

I remember there being an anti KFC flash game a while back that was almost the exact same as Mario, except it was two baby chicks instead of two italian plumbers, and because Pamela Anderson was part of this anit-KFC campaign, I guess they decided to make her the princess.

And If I remember correctly, I think Nintendo tried to sue them for copyright issues.(Please, correct me if I'm wrong)

Funny how the only game mechanic that separates the meat & veg scenes is that the turkey is slightly harder.

The sawing motion doesn't register very well due to acceleration/deceleration functions on the knife cursor.

I3uster:
plants dont feel pain nor have emotions, that being said, i could easily slaughter and eat half of hollywood (ba-dum-tish)

Does that mean it's ethical to eat a benign sociopath with a nervous system disorder (ex. he doesn't feel pain)?

He clearly doesn't want to be eaten and he will respond in his own way. Plants emit a chemical response as a deterant to their animal eaters, in some cases poison, in some cases
an opiate and sometimes just a harmless chemical "scream".

EDIT: I completely missed your awesome joke.

I watched the turkey slaughter video, and was totally unaffected, except for hunger. (Damn now Im hungry, thanks PETA....)

Isn't this copyright material? I mean, they used the name of the series. I can't believe that(even) PETA would make such a huge and obvious blunder though. Perhaps its protected as a parody? If not, I want to keep track of the awesome lawsuit that is coming.

i wont eat a being that is capable of feeling pain, but i could eat a 2-month-comatose-patient, but this thread isnt called "lets find out what Buster would eat"

I3uster:

Hunde Des Krieg:
Does PeTA have any idea how nature works? Nature is far more cruel than humanity is. Half of all prey animals in the wild are eaten while they are still partially alive or have to suffer slow horrible deaths. They do realize that the animals we raise for livestock are practically immune from extinction? yes there are many animals that suffer before they are butchered, and those responsible should be punished, these are the animals raised in factory settings. Animals raised outside on natural foods live better lives and taste better too. They are killed quickly and humanely, and help to feed humanity.

i dont think that it is cruel to kill animals, but thinks it is cruel how they are held and killed (the WAY of killing matters here)

It is cruel when they are held upside-down and have their throats cut, and they slowly bleed out, but a quick bolt through the head and they're gone, no pain, no suffering. Beheaded? yep gone, no pian, and don't think the whole chicken with its head cut off thing means pain, the animals head is off.

but nature is far more cruel, lions slowly choking their prey to death, wolves harrassing and exhausting prey to death, pythons and boas crushing their prey to death. Need I go on? as long as animals get to live outside, and eat natural food, reproduce, and die a fast painless death, then what's the problem?

PedroSteckecilo:
Plants emit the chemical equivalent of a scream, that means they suffer the entire time you eat them.

While they don't process it like we do, certain responses (ex. THC in Cannibis, it's a defense mechanism) show that plants are CLEARLY averse to being eaten. Sorry, Vegitables want to provide you with energy about as much as animals do, they just don't feel pain in the same manner we do. The only things that "want" you to eat them are fruit trees, and that's only to disperse seeds.

Ah, now that is correct. Finally someone who understands nature.

For every animal that PETA refuses to let die, I'll eat three.

I've lost respect for PETA after the South Park episode.