Even Gordon Freeman Can't Fix This

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Even Gordon Freeman Can't Fix This

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Official investigations estimate the cost to repair the Large Hadron Collider to be in the neighborhood of $14m.

After one ton of helium gas was released accidentally, damaging the electromagnets, there have been calls for an early warning alarm to be put in place. The official investigation showed that an electrical fault in one of the superconductors allowed the release. Better gas pressure valves have been designated as a priority.

This isn't the first problem to hit the LHC, perhaps the world's greatest generator of 'Day Of Reckoning' forecasts from the more 'eccentric' areas of the internet.

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

Even the great scientists are split over what will happen, with Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows.

Official estimates are that the LHC will be out of action until June 2009 at the earliest, but the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is still pretty unlikely.

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" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

I dunno, but it would be a good fight.

Stephen Hawken Headcrab!!!

...Sorry, the it just popped into my head.

Now that is an 'Oh snap' moment. Very,very amusing.

The_root_of_all_evil:

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?

Best. Picture. Ever.

The_root_of_all_evil:
Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

They had a problem with there modem? =P

Anyways, it's just putting off the inevitable apocolypse... Ok, don't actually believe that, but wouldn't it be ironic if it had a fatal malfunction in 2012? All us naysayers would have a hell of a day explaining that one, huh? XD

the LHC might destroy the world, but somehow that seems awfully exciting. Speaking of which, hilarious reboots and helium gas explosions aside, have we actually learned anything from this monstrosity? Listening the roaring masses of the interweb, you'd think this thing was built specifically to blow us all up.

xitel:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?

You kidding? The bill was Four Hundred Fucking Euros. Damn international calls.

ZeroMachine:

Anyways, it's just putting off the inevitable apocolypse... Ok, don't actually believe that, but wouldn't it be ironic if it had a fatal malfunction in 2012? All us naysayers would have a hell of a day explaining that one, huh? XD

Well... No.

Has no-one noticed the headcrab to the right of the picture?

So...no headcrabs? After I took all that rouble to pick up a crowbar and painstakingly paint it just the right shade of orange...

Congrats on the yellow letters Root.

Danny Ocean:

xitel:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?

You kidding? The bill was Four Hundred Fucking Euros. Damn international calls.

I wonder if they checked to make sure it was on and plugged in first.

xitel:
I wonder if they checked to make sure it was on and plugged in first.

They're scientists... of course not, they'll try and fix the most complicated problem first ;)

Thank you God for the fact that helium has the ability to disable doomsday decives. Let us pray that on CERN's bring your daughter to work day (it's the perfect time to have her tested), that they hire a metric fuckload of clowns that each bring their own tank of helium.

Danny Ocean:

xitel:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?

You kidding? The bill was Four Hundred Fucking Euros. Damn international calls.

ZeroMachine:

Anyways, it's just putting off the inevitable apocolypse... Ok, don't actually believe that, but wouldn't it be ironic if it had a fatal malfunction in 2012? All us naysayers would have a hell of a day explaining that one, huh? XD

Well... No.

Has no-one noticed the headcrab to the right of the picture?

Yeah, a web blog sent the Gordon Freeman Look Alike a "world saving kit" complete with a crowbar, helmet, and a half-life strategy guide. The scientists got a kick out of it and did some photo's of "Gordon" with the gear. The Escapist had a story on it...somewhere.

Better gas pressure valves have been designated as a priority.

This is starting to get hysterical. a VALVE took out the LHC?

Wow, apparently the guys at the LHC are as big of dorks as we are.

I've gotta say, that is the best picture ever. I'm pretty some website even sent them that Crowbar. I saw the thread about it a while back.

It's too bad it's not like in games where you can fix anything in five seconds by wiggling your arms in front of it for a few seconds.

Since the same process they hope to copy happens constantly in the earth's atmosphere (and at even higher speeds) I'd say we're pretty safe...

A fatal failure would cost a shitload of cash though :/

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

I wouldn't be so sure about that....http://pl.youtube.com/watch?v=BGauuoYOlvw

Birras:
Thank you God for the fact that helium has the ability to disable doomsday decives. Let us pray that on CERN's bring your daughter to work day (it's the perfect time to have her tested), that they hire a metric fuckload of clowns that each bring their own tank of helium.

I can't tell whether this is scaremongering or sarcasm.

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

You just had to go there, didn't you??? j/k...I'm sure Dr. Hawking could throw down some vicious insults though!

1 ton of Helium gas was released accidentally?

Do you think people were running around in the tunnels with really high voices, shouting "Oh No!" like The Lemmings?

Nimbus:

Birras:
Thank you God for the fact that helium has the ability to disable doomsday decives. Let us pray that on CERN's bring your daughter to work day (it's the perfect time to have her tested), that they hire a metric fuckload of clowns that each bring their own tank of helium.

I can't tell whether this is scaremongering or sarcasm.

Both, it's more efficent that way ^_^

mokes310:

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

You just had to go there, didn't you??? j/k...I'm sure Dr. Hawking could throw down some vicious insults though!

The guy could be rendered helpless by a passing mini cab my friend XD

needausername:

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

I dunno, but it would be a good fight.

It would be kind of one sided. Unless you gave Hawkings Wheelchair a little Mad Max style re-imagining. Then you make Higgs swallow the Grand Unified Theory, and watch the fireworks.

Indigo_Dingo:

needausername:

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

I dunno, but it would be a good fight.

It would be kind of one sided. Unless you gave Hawkings Wheelchair a little Mad Max style re-imagining. Then you make Higgs swallow the Grand Unified Theory, and watch the fireworks.

Yeah but I assume Hawkings wheelchair is pretty sturdy.

SomeBritishDude:
Stephen Hawken Headcrab!!!

...Sorry, the it just popped into my head.

It'd be cool, but how would it work?

I am watching the LHC Live Webcam right now, everyone is going crazy due to the malfunction.

Stephen Hawkin is a Professor, not a doctor. Just thought I'd mention that. Anyway, we've got much more to worry from proper catastrophes like meteors and the suchlike. Just look at the sun, waiting there. So innocent? I think not.

The_root_of_all_evil:

Official estimates are that the LHC will be out of action until June 2009 at the earliest, but the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is still pretty unlikely.

I didn't even notice this part. Win.

Somethingfake:

mokes310:

Somethingfake:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.

You just had to go there, didn't you??? j/k...I'm sure Dr. Hawking could throw down some vicious insults though!

The guy could be rendered helpless by a passing mini cab my friend XD

Yeah, but what about Dr. Stephen Hawking??? j/k :)

IactoSophos:
Stephen Hawkin is a Professor, not a doctor. Just thought I'd mention that. Anyway, we've got much more to worry from proper catastrophes like meteors and the suchlike. Just look at the sun, waiting there. So innocent? I think not.

If he has his PhD (which I'm sure he does), he's also a doctor. Although you're right that he is called a Professor more than a Doctor.

xitel:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again.

Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?

Microsoft Tech Support, Agrajag speaking. Yes, yes. That seems to be a common problem. Please reboot your system and wait for the update. Thank you for sinking your money in Microsoft!

ElArabDeMagnifico:
I am watching the LHC Live Webcam right now, everyone is going crazy due to the malfunction.

Well shit. We seem to be doomed.

CIA:

ElArabDeMagnifico:
I am watching the LHC Live Webcam right now, everyone is going crazy due to the malfunction.

Well shit. We seem to be doomed.

DEWWWWWWWWWWWWMED!!!

Oh Gordon Freeman help us!

Also did someone change that picture somehow or did everyone at CERN know he looks like Gordon Freeman and give him a crowbar?

I think Mr.Hawking is like Yoda. All slow movements and struggle speaking, then he's all Pazzaz! when threatened one-on-one.

SecretTacoNinja:

Also did someone change that picture somehow or did everyone at CERN know he looks like Gordon Freeman and give him a crowbar?

They're people too.. :P

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