Monument to Lovecraftian God Appears on Lawn

Monument to Lovecraftian God Appears on Lawn

La! La! AZATHOTH F'TAGHN!

It's a fact of human psychology that we can easily be influenced by the popular, well-known people around us. Celebrities are often paid large sums to endorse things like beauty products or even their favorite stores on the Citadel. What you don't see too often are fictional dark gods of the twisting chaos promoting restaurants, but that's exactly what happened. Overnight, a concrete pillar with an inscription dedicating it to H.P. Lovecraft's fictional deity Azathoth appeared in front of the Paseo Grill in Oklahoma City.

While modern, abstract artwork is common in the Paseo District, ones invoking dark names of madness do stand out nonetheless. The extremely heavy monument, which appears to be ripped from its original moorings, has a plaque with the inscription "In the year of our lord 2012 Creer Pipi claimed this land for azathoth."

Like much of the Lovecraftian mythos, Azathoth is only ever hinted at in his stories, once being described as the "blind idiot god Azathoth, Lord of All Things, encircled by his flopping horde of mindless and amorphous dancers," which sounds like this guy I met at a party once. He's also the center of "Ultimate Chaos", which is far too close to being a Rob Liefeld comic for my tastes.

The restaurant will wait about a week to see if anyone claims the monument, so make your pilgrimages while you can. Meanwhile, the residents seem nonplussed by the cosmic horror about to be visited them. "Well, it's not straight," a local commented. "It's not supposed to be there."

Source: KFOR News

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Now I've never read any of H.P.'s stories, I'd like to but I can't get back into reading novels for some reason, but I have read up on them through the internet and comic books based on his works. So I guess what I mean to say is, god damn... wait... elder gods damn? do I love this! I've always wanted more love to be shown to H.P. Lovecraft and all his stories, I really can't get enough of the ones I've read in comic books.

I bet the food there prevents more than just one point of Stamina-Loss!

Quiet Stranger:
Now I've never read any of H.P.'s stories, I'd like to but I can't get back into reading novels for some reason, but I have read up on them through the internet and comic books based on his works. So I guess what I mean to say is, god damn... wait... elder gods damn? do I love this! I've always wanted more love to be shown to H.P. Lovecraft and all his stories, I really can't get enough of the ones I've read in comic books.

Almost all of his stuff is short stories you could easily get through in an afternoon, so there's no reason not to read more of them. (That's one reason they're so easy to convert into comic book form). :)

Exterminas:
I bet the food there prevents more than just one point of Stamina-Loss!

So good, you'll go insane, and be lost in time and space.

"It's not supposed to be there."
Woooooow!!!!! Great journalism to write that down in a newspaper or on cable news!

Of course it's very funny to include in an article later on, like on this site, but someone initially was asked to get quotes from local people for a serious item on this news, and THAT'S it?!

Joleen Chaney, your story has forced me to roll a Sanity Loss roll.

72.

IA! IA! AZA TOTH F'TAGHN!

Kenjitsuka:
"It's not supposed to be there."
Woooooow!!!!! Great journalism to write that down in a newspaper or on cable news!

Of course it's very funny to include in an article later on, like on this site, but someone initially was asked to get quotes from local people for a serious item on this news, and THAT'S it?!

I don't see what's wrong with it. Best practice says you should get opinions from both sides of the debate (when possible) on news pieces and, "It's not supposed to be there" is a pretty clear opinion imo.

Everything about this is beautiful. Even the placement, and how it wasn't placed in the specific art installation spots, is spot on for mad gods claiming land. Best art of the year. Could have gone with a less symmetrical piece, myself, something rougher, less defined, but I can still appreciate what it is.

Just leave it there. Don't touch it, you might anger the entities beyond the veil.
This was either left as a prank or as a warning by a cultist.
Either way just ignore it, it'll either be gone one day or it'll be there forever.
If it starts to do anything, call an occultist to have it removed.
If someone touches it and starts screaming in tongues, call an occultist for the exorcism.

If strange creatures begin appearing,
If anyone near it begins to hallucinate,
If you begin to hear voices in your head,
If anything odd happens at all...
CALL AN OCCULTIST!
or ghost busters...

Quiet Stranger:
Now I've never read any of H.P.'s stories, I'd like to but I can't get back into reading novels for some reason, but I have read up on them through the internet and comic books based on his works. So I guess what I mean to say is, god damn... wait... elder gods damn? do I love this! I've always wanted more love to be shown to H.P. Lovecraft and all his stories, I really can't get enough of the ones I've read in comic books.

You should really read them, they are mostly short so you don't need to have loads of spare time to get through most of his work in one sitting. Though he does have some great longer stories too like At The Mountains of Madness (recommended). Some are probably short enough that you could read them before bed to ward off good dreams.

"Well, it's not straight."

Tell me about it--the geometry is all wrong.

Quantum Glass:
"Well, it's not straight."

Tell me about it--the geometry is all wrong.

You're looking at it from the wrong... dimension...

Isn't this pointless?

Surely the Earth already belongs to Azathoth?

I say just leave it. It's going to be more of a pain to move anyway. At worst it might kill some grass if you leave it in one spot for too long, or you know, herald in an ancient and chaotic deity, whatever comes first.

Leave it. At best it's either a cultist's offering and at worst it's the centerpiece for a summoning ritual (in which case, since Azathoth is summoned by fissionable materials, I say RUN!). In any case, disturbing it will most likely result in insanity.

All joking aside, this is pretty funny. Prank of the year.

IanDavis:
La! La! AZATHOTH F'TAGHN!

There's so much incorrect here. :c The phrase is "Ia" for starters. And f'taghn means to wait or sleep, neither of which Azathoth does.

I'm not 100% familiar with Azathoth, but "f'taghn" is definitely a word more often associated with Cthulhu specifically.

Kenjitsuka:
"It's not supposed to be there."
Woooooow!!!!! Great journalism to write that down in a newspaper or on cable news!

Of course it's very funny to include in an article later on, like on this site, but someone initially was asked to get quotes from local people for a serious item on this news, and THAT'S it?!

Well, that quote actually makes a lot of sense when you look at the fact that most of Lovecraft's works center on the theme of "that's not supposed to be there." This article made my day, the only thing that's puzzles me is how it got there.

If it's not a cosmic restaurant endorsement, then what is it?

The_Echo:

IanDavis:
La! La! AZATHOTH F'TAGHN!

There's so much incorrect here. :c The phrase is "Ia" for starters. And f'taghn means to wait or sleep, neither of which Azathoth does.

I'm not 100% familiar with Azathoth, but "f'taghn" is definitely a word more often associated with Cthulhu specifically.

Also, what did you expect? He rolled a 72, man!

Anti-American Eagle:

CALL AN OCCULTIST!

Well I'd be more than willing to go to the rock and check it out, maybe even examine a few of the monsters, but I feel like the people would be pretty stupid to call me or my friends to help them out with this stuff. We'd only piss the entities off worse than they were to begin with.

Can...can I have it?

Best comment is in the original thread the story came from. Something along the lines of how the restaurant really DOESN'T want the "owner" coming by to claim this.

I love the hilarity of saying "In the year of our lord" this land is claimed by this ancient god deity.

Quiet Stranger:
Now I've never read any of H.P.'s stories, I'd like to but I can't get back into reading novels for some reason, but I have read up on them through the internet and comic books based on his works. So I guess what I mean to say is, god damn... wait... elder gods damn? do I love this! I've always wanted more love to be shown to H.P. Lovecraft and all his stories, I really can't get enough of the ones I've read in comic books.

Definitely read a few of them, you'll realize just how much influence his works have had on movies, video games, and sci-fi. You'll then start to notice the various characters and what-not who are clearly related to his works (such as the Reapers in Mass Effect, or Hermaues Mora in the Elder Scrolls games).

 

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