NASA Finds Han Solo on Mercury

NASA Finds Han Solo on Mercury

NASA has revealed a picture taken by its Messenger probe that resembles a particular Star Wars character frozen in carbonite.

Back in 2011, NASA's Messenger probe apparently snapped a shot of the planet Mercury that was clearly eye-catching for the army of nerds we're assuming make up the ranks of the venerable organization. The image, just recently released to the public, shows a terrain formation on the surface of the planet that looks markedly similar to Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

NASA's response to the image is equal parts scientific and fantastic. "A portion of the terrain surrounding the northern margin of the Caloris basin hosts an elevated block in the shape of a certain carbonite-encased smuggler who can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs," they posited. "If there are two things you should remember, it's not to cross a Hutt, and that Mercury's surface can throw up all kinds of surprises."

While we obviously accept the logical explanation of weird stuff just happening, we can't help but admit that our nerdier half isn't content to chalk this up to galactic happenstance. For instance, what if, at some point in the Star Wars timeline, reality split? In the movie reality things went as we saw them in Return of the Jedi. Boba Fett gets eaten by the Sarlacc, our heroes get away, destroy the Empire and live happily ever after until Episode VII. In our reality meanwhile (because Star Wars is real), Boba Fett escaped the Sarlacc pit, captured Han again, refroze him and then deposited him on Mercury as vengeance. Granted, Star Wars takes place in a "galaxy far, far away," but if they took the Millennium Falcon it couldn't take too long to get here. Han was always bragging about how fast it was, after all.

Source: Yahoo

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I love these kinds of weird discoveries by NASA. But who did Han piss off to be frozen and dropped on Mercury? Is it an extreme punishment for smuggling something he really shouldn't have?

Look! Up there in the top left corer of the picture! I think I see something that resembles C3P0 and R2!

I can just imagine the dialogue if we managed to make contact with him:
Han: "Who are you?"
Earth: "Someone who Lovells you."

Darth_Payn:
I love these kinds of weird discoveries by NASA. But who did Han piss off to be frozen and dropped on Mercury? Is it an extreme punishment for smuggling something he really shouldn't have?

It gets worse. Depending on where Han is on Mercury and the time of the year, he gets to enjoy temperatures between 80K and 700K. Pleasant holiday weather.

Chimpzy:

Darth_Payn:
I love these kinds of weird discoveries by NASA. But who did Han piss off to be frozen and dropped on Mercury? Is it an extreme punishment for smuggling something he really shouldn't have?

It gets worse. Depending on where Han is on Mercury and the time of the year, he gets to enjoy temperatures between 80K and 700K. Pleasant holiday weather.

Do we know enough about the properties of carbonite to say that he would even feel those temperatures? Seeing as how someone can survive in it without eating, drinking, or breathing, I doubt it's something that we can guess would conduct heat.

My my Han Solo, what big everything you have there. The better to actually be a giant landmass with!

Micalas:
Do we know enough about the properties of carbonite to say that he would even feel those temperatures? Seeing as how someone can survive in it without eating, drinking, or breathing, I doubt it's something that we can guess would conduct heat.

The extreme cold probably wouldn't harm him since he's already a Popsicle. But the heat might.

This is just conjecture based on the movies and expanded universe, but Han was encased in carbonite by flash-freezing it, so that pretty much means it must conduct heat. In RoTJ it looks like heat is applied to thaw Han out or maybe that metal thing surrounding him is a cooling unit that Leia turned off. Both support the idea that it conducts heat. In either case, the thawing is pretty fast, but Han emerges completely unharmed, so the temperature needed to thaw frozen carbonite can't be very high. At least not high enough to cause visible injury.

If correct, 700K should be plenty to thaw him and turn him into a grilled Han sandwich.

MERCURY HAN SOLO NO WOOKIEEEEEE

OT: this is pretty cool, but too bad we'll never get a chance to explore it :(

Now that is pretty neat!

So when are the Hutts going to show up to retrieve their prize?

 

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