Xbox One Owners Are Using Violence to Fix Their Broken Consoles

Xbox One Owners Are Using Violence to Fix Their Broken Consoles

Smacking your Xbox One could be the key to fixing the console's Blu-ray drive, but we don't recommend it.

A handful of Xbox One owners have been experiencing a problem with the console's Blu-ray drive. When a disk is inserted into the drive, an ugly grinding noise emanates from the system and tears automatically start streaming down the owner's face. Luckily, only a small number of Xboxes have been affected, and Microsoft is replacing the consoles as quickly as possible. However, several users have discovered a fix. Though, like most types of violence, I probably wouldn't recommend it.

On Monday, one YouTube user published a short video in which he hit his broken console several times before powering it up. The unit appeared to be working correctly after applying the "fix," but this technique probably isn't completely reliable. Just because something is working doesn't mean that it's fixed.

The problem is reportedly due to a misaligned gear inside of the drive assembly. However, until Microsoft issues some kind of official statement regarding the cause, all of this is mostly guesswork.

Affected Xbox owners should contact the manufacturer before engaging in fisticuffs with their console. Plus, Microsoft has been compensating players by supplying a complimentary digital copy of Dead Rising 3, Forza Motorsport 5, Ryse: Son of Rome, or Zoo Tycoon. And, since you don't need a disk drive to play digital titles, you'll have something to do until your new console shows up.

Source: Game Informer

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Ahhh yes, technology and hitting it when its broken. Its a classic yet oddly effective method.

Even if it doesnt fix the problem at hand, it makes you feel good for a few seconds afterwards

I find hitting hardware works but only if the problem is a disc problem or a fan problem.

Both my computer and my 360 (though the 360 on is an external add-on I added) have fans that fall out of place and make horrible grinding noises. A few hits around the fans to both will make them fall back into place easy enough.

Percussive maintenance for the win!

Finally, a chance to use this!

"Does Bill Gates have to smack a Xbitch?"

Hammer. Always try a hammer. If a hammer doesn't work, then use fire.

Angelous Wang:
I find hitting hardware works but only if the problem is a disc problem or a fan problem.

True! Percussive realignment really only helps adjust rotating or spinning components. And while it may provide a temporary fix, it can greatly reduce the future reliability of the device. Which is why we only used it at Best Buy to unseize a hard drive long enough to pull the data from it.

ritchards:
Percussive maintenance for the win!

As yes, the "Litany of Percussive Maintenance" always works. Just slap the side of the machine while going "Work you piece of shit! You have any idea how much money I spent on you?! Work!" and the machine spirits will get their act together and work for you once more.

OT: It always strikes me as odd that no matter what year we live in, bitch slapping your broken piece of equipment usually seems to fix it.

Angelous Wang:
I find hitting hardware works but only if the problem is a disc problem or a fan problem.

Both my computer and my 360 (though the 360 on is an external add-on I added) have fans that fall out of place and make horrible grinding noises. A few hits around the fans to both will make them fall back into place easy enough.

Yeah microsoft fanboys tend to be a bit ravenous, a good clip round the ears wil-

Oh you meant the technology? Oh okay.

This is news now? Welcome to the last several decades, where smacking electronics has always been an ill-advised yet occasionally successful solution to problems.

Both mine and my brothers Xbox 360's had faulty disc drives and a similar technique was used to make ours work, you'd think Microsoft would know to get a good quality drive by now.

Ah, the good ol' smacking, the best fix mankind has ever concieved for just about anything :D

Can't believe that actually worked.

Wonder if this might work for the PS4 issue as well.

luvd1:
Hammer. Always try a hammer. If a hammer doesn't work, then use fire.

that is so much BS are you trying to destroy peoples machines??? the real answer is ice cream just spoon it in to the drive

I hate disk loaders like that because they can have issues. I wish my PS4 didn't have one. I'll take a top loader any day. less moving parts lesser chance of malfunction.

True story: I (lightly) punted a broken laptop and it started working for half an hour.

And if that doesn't work, try inserting chocolate coins into the disk drive.

Ah, the old fixing things Russian style.

If only you could open it up and just repair the damn thing.

wombat_of_war:

luvd1:
Hammer. Always try a hammer. If a hammer doesn't work, then use fire.

that is so much BS are you trying to destroy peoples machines??? the real answer is ice cream just spoon it in to the drive

Oh PLEASE. Ice-cream won't do anything. It'll just get eaten up by the plethora of spiders that live inside your PC.

The real fix to any computer problem is, of course, an industrial-strength vaccuum cleaner. Because if those microprocessors aren't soldered on tighter than superglue, you probably don't need them anyway.

Josh Engen:
And, since you don't need a disk drive to play digital titles, you'll have something to do until your new console shows up.

Surely they will have the slight issue of not having a console to play those games on if they need to send it off to be fixed? Unless Microsoft have so many unsold Xbones lying around they are giving them away to disgruntled customers.

CriticalMiss:

Surely they will have the slight issue of not having a console to play those games on if they need to send it off to be fixed? Unless Microsoft have so many unsold Xbones lying around they are giving them away to disgruntled customers.

Microsoft sends a replacement console then you send the faulty one back once you receive the new one. Nice way to do it esp for this issue as it keeps downtime to nothing, cudos MS.

Violence.
Solves some things.

Why not? It worked on my NES.

dalek sec:

ritchards:
Percussive maintenance for the win!

As yes, the "Litany of Percussive Maintenance" always works. Just slap the side of the machine while going "Work you piece of shit! You have any idea how much money I spent on you?! Work!" and the machine spirits will get their act together and work for you once more.

OT: It always strikes me as odd that no matter what year we live in, bitch slapping your broken piece of equipment usually seems to fix it.

You forgot the ritual oil (Coffee) needed as well as the absolutely necessary Gregorian chant in the background. These help to please the Omnisiah that he may convince the machine spirits in your device to perform their proper functions.

If this doesn't placate your machine spirits breaking down and yelling at your device might cause the machine spirits to take pity on you.

Ah; good ol' Percussive Maintenance. It even worked for NASA During Apollo 12: http://blogs.unimelb.edu.au/sciencecommunication/2010/09/21/just-give-it-a-good-whack/

It takes my pc less time to boot up than it does for you Xbox one... lol

I wonder if this could work to fix those bricked PS4s with their pulsing blue lights.

Ah, so its set now, Xbox one was made in soviet union. Fits with other old technology and hitting it being the only way to fix things. glad we got that sorted. Now how about making something past 1990?

CriticalMiss:

Surely they will have the slight issue of not having a console

Thats not an issue, thats a bonus sideeffect! Its Xbox were talking about you know.

Sofus:
It takes my pc less time to boot up than it does for you Xbox one... lol

YOu know i actaully fast-forwarded the boot up, thats how long it took.

Sofus:
It takes my pc less time to boot up than it does for you Xbox one... lol

I know right? Holy crap that thing's slow! Makes the slow-ass Wii U look fast by comparison.

Chimpzy:
Ah, the old fixing things Russian style.

I swear I've seen that scene somewhere... Where's it from?

captcha: cold turkey

Qvar:
I swear I've seen that scene somewhere... Where's it from?

captcha: cold turkey

Well, it's Peter Stormare doing what he does best in Baysplosion-fest Armageddon.

 

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