Castrating a Hippo Is More Difficult Than You Might Think

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Castrating a Hippo Is More Difficult Than You Might Think

Hippo Castration - Main

A Viennese research team has developed a new technique for hippopotamus emasculation.

I've never had a good reason to castrate a hippopotamus, but I'm assuming that it's not a pleasant process, for me or the hippo. However, a team of researchers from the University of Veterinary Medicine in Vienna has created a step-by-step tutorial. Now I'll be ready if I'm suddenly surrounded by a pack of virile hippopotami.

Unlike most mammals, castrating a hippopotamus is extremely difficult. Their testicles are located deep inside of their body, and the location can vary widely from hippo to hippo. So, even if you can manage to successfully anesthetize the beasts, you'll probably need to dig around for a while.

In the past, castration has been impossible, but this new technique is promising. So far the Viennese team has managed to successfully emasculate ten hippos. Unfortunately, though, one died following a complication from a pre-existing condition.

Now, before you grab a pair of forceps and a scalpel, you should know that hippo castration is typically a last resort. Hippos are a threatened species, so we'd prefer that they procreate rather than sit around with a bag of frozen peas in their laps like my dad after his vasectomy. This procedure was designed for zoos that already have too many hippos, or have an overly aggressive male population.

Science is a beautiful thing.

Source: University of Veterinary Medicine, Vienna

Permalink

Uhhhh... Okay >_>

This might be the most random thing to appear on this site that i've seen. But thanks for the info I guess, knowledge is never bad I suppose.

That was by far, the strangest thing I have ever read on the Escapist to date.

I am concerned.

I will bear this in mind in case it becomes necessary, but in the event of an agressive hippo i think killing it is marginally easier.

This screams for a game to be made on the topic.

Call it 'Horny, Horny Hippo'.

Great to see science going in ... wait... dafuq did I just read ?

...Slow news day, huh?
Can't really blame them, it is the Holidays for them too.

I have legitimately never thought about hippopotamus castration at any point in my life. And yet I clicked the article anyway. Why? I have no idea. But now I know, I guess. Yay knowledge?

theluckyjosh:
This screams for a game to be made on the topic.

Call it 'Horny, Horny Hippo'.

Or "Poor, Poor Hippo"...

Captcha: Inside out
:(

I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.

Callate:
I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.

Hippos kill the most in Africa out of any other animal, I think. If you go near the water, and there are hippos in there they will kill the shit out of you.

Kanova:

Callate:
I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.

Hippos kill the most in Africa out of any other animal, I think. If you go near the water, and there are hippos in there they will kill the shit out of you.

One article I read suggested the honor should go to the mosquito.

But it's a lot easier to see the threat in the animal that weighs 8,000 pounds.

Callate:

Kanova:

Callate:
I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.

Hippos kill the most in Africa out of any other animal, I think. If you go near the water, and there are hippos in there they will kill the shit out of you.

One article I read suggested the honor should go to the mosquito.

But it's a lot easier to see the threat in the animal that weighs 8,000 pounds.

You can also get more technical and say that humans kill the most too, though I have no numbers or fact to back that assumption.

o.0

ok then ... I got nothing past that really, the story is just kinda that far out of left field.

Hard-hitting journalism, right there.

Considering Hippos are the most dangerous animal in Africa, castrating them is probably just as difficult as I think it would be, though obviously not for the same reasons.

Science is indeed a wonderful, chillingly horrifying thing.

That being said, Hippopotamus testicles aren't something one typically learns about every day. Knowing how to find and/or remove them in the event that such is necessary could be handy. It's good they've discovered a way to do so with only a 1/10 chance of death.

Eventually they'll design a machine to do it.

Then that machine will go mad and begin castrating all living creatures... and the apocalypse will have begun.

[Captcha: where to go] Oddly fitting...

I clicked this article because...

yeah...
how could I not?

....

Scorpid:
Uhhhh... Okay >_>

This might be the most random thing to appear on this site that i've seen.

I feel the same way.

Z of the Na'vi:
That was by far, the strangest thing I have ever read on the Escapist to date.

I am concerned.

Oh lawdy, your avi is making me laugh so hard, I can't even...

strumbore:
Hard-hitting journalism, right there.

really? I thought it was more like balls out journalism :P *ba dum tish*

theluckyjosh:
This screams for a game to be made on the topic.

Call it 'Horny, Horny Hippo'.

Would probably be an interesting sequel to Surgeon Sumulator: Veterinarian Simulator!

soren7550:

Oh lawdy, your avi is making me laugh so hard, I can't even...

It's even better in motion.

It takes cojones to get that close to a hippos cojones. Hippos are practically the Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom.

Why did I click on this?

See, if it's a slow news week, I don't mind strange but interesting stories like this in place of those stupid "Top X list" articles you've been tossing out lately, like that latest "EA games that don't suck" one.

Now film an episode of Dirty Jobs using this new technique. It's always fun watching Mike Rowe's face as the vet/farm hand explains the procedure.

O_O

Excuse me... Do I not get a say in this?

Oh well, science moves in mysterious ways I guess.

I clicked expecting a funny video or something. :(

O.o

Okay then... Yay for science I guess. Hopefully I'm never in a position where I'll need this knowledge.

Has the escapist stopped giving a shit about what's put on as news? Interesting read, but very, um, different from what we usually get.

I think I know how this random article came into being.

Escapist: We need a news story from you today!
Josh Engen: But it's really slow right now. There's really nothi-
Escapist: I don't care. You need to find one right now.
Josh Engen: >_> *browses around for a random-ass story*

I... I honestly don't know what I expected.

Huh... I smell a new Surgeo Simulator Mod coming.

But curious to note that hippos seem to be the only mammalian species that doesn't have their jewels just dangling around ... I mean damn, what would you give to have your nuts safely burried deep in your body... then again... that would mean no nutshot videeos and the cancelation of AFHV .... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...tough call.

BigTuk:
Huh... I smell a new Surgeo Simulator Mod coming.

But curious to note that hippos seem to be the only mammalian species that doesn't have their jewels just dangling around ... I mean damn, what would you give to have your nuts safely burried deep in your body... then again... that would mean no nutshot videeos and the cancelation of AFHV .... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...tough call.

I thought the same... only DLC.

Is it really more difficult than you might think? I can think it'd be pretty freaking difficult...

You could probably play an absolutely horrible round of minigolf / put put with them afterwards to celebrate a successful procedure.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here