Deck Out Your Cat With $500 Battle Armor

Deck Out Your Cat With $500 Battle Armor

You'd better act fast if you want to own this one-of-a-kind set of leather kitty armor.

Cats are alright I guess, but you know what would make them really cool? If we could deck them out in armor, give them weapons, and force them to battle to the death for our amusement. Unfortunately, they lack the opposable thumbs needed to wield a morning star, but fortunately, Etsy user Schnabuble has taken the first step anyway, producing a custom set of leather kitty armor.

"100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable, the Cat Battle Armor is a for-reals armor harness for your kitty," says the armor's product description. The one-of-a-kind handmade set is yours for a mere $500, making it possibly the most expensive piece of cat-clothing ever made (although I'm sure someone will prove me wrong in the comments). Marvel at it below:

"Completely hand-made from durable veg-tan leather, this is no mere costume piece. Your cat will become an unstoppable force for slaughter in this fully articulated suit, shielding him/her from foes while allowing unimpeded movement across the battlefield or living room floor."

The armor is available as shown, or with optional d-ring attachment at the torso for use with a leash. Sadly, there is no harness attachment that allows your pet gerbil to ride your new armored-cat into battle.

Source: Etsy via Geekologie

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I must buy this. Ramesses will be the most epic cat ever in a suit of this.

To bad I'm poor as dirt or I would buy it.

Steven Bogos:
Unfortunately, they lack the disposable thumbs needed to wield a morning star

Erm, do you mean opposable thumbs?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/opposable+thumb

Disposable thumbs don't sound very useful unless you are shit with a hammer.

Hate to be a buzz kill but most cats go for the eyes, and what kind of status effect protection do i get? protection from catnap's would be nice

Also the picture on the front page is wrong someone should fix that

Someone must have just found out about Bethesda's horse armour DLC and decided hell if they can get away with it.

And of course cats is an easy target on the internet.

M'aiq approves this design.

two cats enter ! one cat probably wearing this leaves !

ron1n:
M'aiq approves this design.

LIAR!!!!

OT: Battlecats? They shall go excellent with the Henchgoats. I must appropriate this for nefarious deeds.

If i want to get that armour on my cats i first need to wearing some myself otherwise they will likely kill me... no seriously i once had to give one a flea bath and she cut my neck and only just missed an important blood vessel

Finally I can take my felyne on hunts in real life, too!

No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.

Steven Bogos:
Deck Out Your Cat With $500 Battle Armor

100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable

Permalink

Comfortable? How the fck would he know?! Did the cat fill out a feedback form??

I cant see most cats putting up with having that strapped to them. I think they would probably kill you if you tried to strap on a little helmet.

Chaosritter:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.

It kinda looks like it's designed to protect the cat from attacks coming from directly above. Like from birds.

Chaosritter:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.

It would decrease the cat's dexterity, effectively reducing its crit damage.

Awesome!
Me and my wife did something similar once with our pet rats. We bought a pair of Battle Hamster kids toy thing in a 99p store and put them on our rats for a laugh. They didn't like them much, but they looked pretty cool for a while for some photos.

image

Cool looking armor, but I don't know any cat that would want to wear something like that. My late cat never liked having a scarf put on her after her trip to the pet groomers and I highly doubt she would allow that. ^^;

i so want an armoured kitty cat in skyrim now

wombat_of_war:
i so want an armoured kitty cat in skyrim now

You don't play a khajit? Just put it in daedric armor for the best results.

Lieju:

Chaosritter:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.

It kinda looks like it's designed to protect the cat from attacks coming from directly above. Like from birds.

And coyotes because when coyotes attack a cat they would have the spikes on the armor's top scratch up their mouths causing them to drop them. I know because my kitty got attack by a coyote while he was sleeping, and surprisingly the coyote dropped my cat because normally when a coyote has it's prey it shakes them in its mouth until it dies. My kitty got really lucky.

OT: Well I can see the practical purposes of the armor, but it still looks a little silly. :P

CriticalMiss:

Steven Bogos:
Unfortunately, they lack the disposable thumbs needed to wield a morning star

Erm, do you mean opposable thumbs?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/opposable+thumb

Disposable thumbs don't sound very useful unless you are shit with a hammer.

Have you ever tried to wield a morning star? He means disposable.

Cats are already unstoppable forces of slaughter. Just ask the local birds, mice, insects... pretty much any animal smaller than a cat.

RaikuFA:

wombat_of_war:
i so want an armoured kitty cat in skyrim now

You don't play a khajit? Just put it in daedric armor for the best results.

I think Wombatman (bonus points if you remember where I got that reference) was referring to a non-anthro cat. In fact I actually agree. I would love to have an armored attack pet of some kind. *looks at Fable* Your dog in Fable IS usable, just not in combat.

I wonder if it's use can be really practical. Think about it, no longer do cat owners in the countryside have to worry about their cats being outdoors. With a nice set of armor, a fox would have a hard time making a meal out of your beloved pet.

Yuuuuuuuuus! I need this for 3 of my cats because the fourth one is a little bastard that keeps attacking them.

*opens purse and cries*

And their tummies are free for me to rub them! Rubrubrubrub~

Pretty cool, but the thing is I can't see anyone getting their cat to wear it and stay in it. That must be a very docile, or well trained kitty in the picture.

That said, I imagine this guy will probably sell at least a few sets the the SCA / Ren Faire crowd since having an armored kitty wandering around would fit right in, and $500.00 is pretty much par for the course with what some of these people pay for their costumes and props and stuff.

It also makes me wonder if at some point Lisa Foiles will do a reference to this by dressing Kevin up in a suit of armor (tin foil perhaps). :)

Hehehe, well now what you need to do is buy a bunch of angry (but loyal and trained) Toms, fit them in armor and let them lose in the neighborhood. They can be the feline riot police, chasing the strays out of town and making sure that the stuff you leave outside DOESN'T SMELL LIKE CAT PEE AFTER ONE NIGHT!! >:c

The lifejacket was outside for a mere 6 hours and they homed in on it. Damn strays.

CriticalMiss:

Steven Bogos:
Unfortunately, they lack the disposable thumbs needed to wield a morning star

Erm, do you mean opposable thumbs?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/opposable+thumb

Disposable thumbs don't sound very useful unless you are shit with a hammer.

I laughed for about 1 minute straight lol.

That's just an awesome typo. It really made my pretty shit day a little better! Thanks Steve for the error :D
I might also be a bit tipsy.

I need to buy these for all the kitties, then I can extend their 9 lives!

EeveeElectro:
Yuuuuuuuuus! I need this for 3 of my cats because the fourth one is a little bastard that keeps attacking them.

*opens purse and cries*

And their tummies are free for me to rub them! Rubrubrubrub~

Aww, you're so cute. :3

Meow

Psssh. I wouldn't pay five bucks for horse armour. Why would I buy cat armour?

The worse news is that this is likely to demoralise my army of attack ferrets.

CriticalMiss:

Disposable thumbs don't sound very useful unless you are shit with a hammer.

Or you're a cat, lacking in opposable thumbs.

Chaosritter:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.

It's still more protective than armour for women (in fantasy)

Xsjadoblayde:

Comfortable? How the fck would he know?! Did the cat fill out a feedback form??

That cat sure looks comfortable, and not in any way like "get it offffff!"

Dragonbums:
I wonder if it's use can be really practical. Think about it, no longer do cat owners in the countryside have to worry about their cats being outdoors. With a nice set of armor, a fox would have a hard time making a meal out of your beloved pet.

Honestly, the last thing an outdoor cat needs is another reason to feel impervious.

wombat_of_war:
two cats enter ! one cat probably wearing this leaves !

but both live because cats dont give a fuck and the one wearing this is looking for a tree it can rub on it until this shit comes off her body.

Chaosritter:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.

its female power armour.
image

rhizhim:
its female power armour.
image

Are you kidding? These pauldrons will protect the shit out of her!

Wow.. 2500$ to outfit my colony.

I figure that most wouls ahred you while trying to put it on If you succeed I get the feeling the battle damage the armour would endure would mostly be from the wearer. Or worse kitty ends up shredding themselves trying to get it off.

Why would I buy cat armour? Because even with its potential flaws anything that brings us closer to

image

Is progress in the direction of awesome.

So does it come with a set of platemail for me to wear while I try to put this on my cat? Because she will murder the absolute shit out of me.

 

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