This Coffee Maker Has DRM to Lock Out Competitor's Refills - Update

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...Jail broken coffee makers may end up being a thing. Cyberpunk future here we come.

It is absolutely imperative that your toast shouldn't toast right if it isn't OUR bread. For safety reasons, of course!

Neronium:
We actually have that machine in our shop at SDSU. Reason is because everyone gets in at 5-6am and the only coffee on campus is overpriced Starbucks. They enjoy the machine really, and I will say it makes some good hot chocolate. :3
Also this technically isn't DRM, since DRM stands for Digital Rights Management. If anything this is CRM, Coffee Rights Management.

Also to be fair, there can be a decent argument made for DRM. Namely, the idea is to stop/reduce piracy. Which I think is a fine idea. I think Steam is fine (not good, but fine) DRM.

This seems more like what Nintendo did back in the early days with the 'Nintendo certified.' But that also had the excuse of being for 'quality control.' This is just Kuerig saying 'hey, we're the dominant coffee-machine company now. Let's use our power to get more money and lock our competitors out.'

I saw this headline earlier, but I thought it was satire or some kind of cheeky, self-aware product that's mocking DRM.

I didn't think that someone would be crazy enough to actually do this. And for COFFEE, no less.

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Source: Tech Dirt

Holy Shit. How stupid do they think we are, I mean, there are probably some pretty stupid people but it is a fricken coffee maker for waffle's sake! What kind of safety precautions do you need besides large pretty pictures that say "Don't Fucking Touch This, Hot Stuff!"?!

Steven Bogos:
Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology."

Wow it's almost as if EA was handling their press release.

This idea needs to die before it becomes the norm.

mysecondlife:
I have a Keurig. Mine just punctures a hole top and bottom of the coffee pod and it pours hot water. Haven't got a clue how they managed it.

The shape of the pod, which would be very easy to jerry rig to fuck over competitors. Who are dicks anyway for trying to steal from their market. This is just a response to them being dicks to them.

If a company came out with an HD disc that was able to play in Blu Ray players but wasn't a Blu Ray disc, you gotta know Sony would intervene.

This should be illegal. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is illegal under most European consumer protection laws.

Only in America would those greedy corporate assholes think that they can have the freedom to do something like this. The Corporate States of Let's Fuck the Consumers strikes again.

Safety reasons sounds dangerously close to "national security reasons". See a pattern there? Every time someone powerful wants to stick a dick up your ass they'll claim that it's for your own safety.

Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Safety reasons? Really... I've got a feeling I've heard this one before...
"We're going to lock half of your workstation. Safety reasons."
"We're going to remove a quarter of your apartment to repair your deck. Safety reasons."
"We're not giving you a discount on any of this. Safety reasons."
"We're increasing the price of your electricity. Safety reasons."
"You can't rent from us unless you have our apartment insurance. Safety reasons."
"You must ride your bike in a crowded street, no bike lane. Safety reasons."
"We're forcing you to buy our product, and only our product. Safety reasons."

Nah... I'm just paranoid.

The sad thing is this is going to work to some extent, particularly on the office end of things, because as we all know, every office thinks coffee is mandatory. The average user might find brand-locked machines to be bullshit, and it is, but corporate gophers aren't hired for their brains; they're hired to do what they're told, and if the coffee machine says "put this kind of coffee in", that's what they're going to do, because the budget intended for the coffee machine has been spent already.

There are, as you may know, a lot of offices in the world. This has depressing potential to become a big thing, with further potential for manufacturers to pursue exclusive deals with their end-users' companies, and it's not going to stop at coffee if it takes off.

"It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology."

I'd love to hear them explain EXACTLY how that is the case. I want to hear them explain the fucking DETAILS man! It would probably be hilarious.

infinity_turtles:
...Jail broken coffee makers may end up being a thing. Cyberpunk future here we come.

But then you wouldn't be safe? You want to be safe don't you?

Jorec:
So what's to stop people from just using the original Keurig machines then? If that's the only substantial thing that the "Keurig 2.0" offers than I see no point in upgrading honestly, especially if the competitor's refills are in fact cheaper.

More importantly, what if one likes the other coffee better?

I can't wait till Sony blurays only play Sony Studios movies... because that is where this logic would lead. :S

Saulkar:

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Source: Tech Dirt

Holy Shit. How stupid do they think we are, I mean, there are probably some pretty stupid people but it is a fricken coffee maker for waffle's sake! What kind of safety precautions do you need besides large pretty pictures that say "Don't Fucking Touch This, Hot Stuff!"?!

Very stupid, apparently.

I am pretty sure that I've only ever bought Keurig approved coffee pods, but...
1. I'm not sure what would improve on the current product. It makes fantastic coffee, 1 cup at a time.
2. DRM makes this a pass for me anyway.

They've got to be using DRM unless they want to be driven out of business by coffee pirates, I guess...

Well anyway, I've never heard of this Keuring brand, but I'll keep this DRM thing in mind if I ever consider purchasing their products.

Big_Willie_Styles:

mysecondlife:
I have a Keurig. Mine just punctures a hole top and bottom of the coffee pod and it pours hot water. Haven't got a clue how they managed it.

The shape of the pod, which would be very easy to jerry rig to fuck over competitors. Who are dicks anyway for trying to steal from their market. This is just a response to them being dicks to them.

If a company came out with an HD disc that was able to play in Blu Ray players but wasn't a Blu Ray disc, you gotta know Sony would intervene.

Then competitors can easily replicate the shape of the pod.

and its a stupid analogy. Sony doesn't make money off of all the blu-ray disc sales nor they are the only manufacturer of blu-ray players.

Those Keurig machines are pretty popular among my family. They're really handy if you only want one or two cups of coffee instantly. The downsides are that they are terrible to clean, inefficient for large groups, breakdown easily, and the pods are expensive as fuck ($0.60-$1.00 a cup). The cheaper, no-name brand coffee pods make them more economically viable, but if you're buying a Keurig, then that shouldn't be a problem (Co-op Gold brand coffee pods make my piss feel like razor blades, though).

I don't see anything wrong with this business practice, since it's their machine and they're not requiring anything obtrusive from the customer. Calling it 'DRM' is silly.

I can already see a method to bypass this DRM: Attach the RFID chip that would be in the pod to facilitate the DRM to a generic reusable pod (Make sure to use good waterproof tape!) and just use that.

I...was not even aware coffee used pods. Last I checked, coffee came in lil tins that you put in a filter.
Then again, I can't touch the stuff. Disgusting on every level.

Considering someone already said "bet this doesn't go as big as the Xbone DRM kerfuffle", this is looking like a very similar situation. I mean, they've actually out and said "Oh don't worry, this is actually a good thing, we're just not going to explain why", just like Microsoft did when we asked why the hell the box needed to phone home every day.

Thank god I don't care for caffeine, then.

Steven Bogos:
"It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology."

How the fuck am I still alive? I mean I was using a pot that could utilize any brand I desired... How did the thing not blow up or catch fire?

You heard 'em gents, we can now classify non-DRM coffee pots at "deadly weapons".

Adam Jensen:

Safety reasons sounds dangerously close to "national security reasons". See a pattern there? Every time someone powerful wants to stick a dick up your ass they'll claim that it's for your own safety.

But it IS for your safety
If your ass is filled by bunch of dicks, nobody can assrape you anymore.
So be a good drone now and say "thank you" to your overlords

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Wow, we've never heard anything like that here! Like from anyone who favors DRM or tries to justify bricking a device of any sort for any reason at all! No, never!

*Laughs*

I DID say people would reject this in droves because they want their goddamn coffee, and I was right!

FalloutJack:

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Wow, we've never heard anything like that here! Like from anyone who favors DRM or tries to justify bricking a device of any sort for any reason at all! No, never!

*Laughs*

I DID say people would reject this in droves because they want their goddamn coffee, and I was right!

Wait, what?

I understand someone claiming that DRM actually stops piracy (I mean, that IS what it's technically designed for), but since when did anyone claim DRM affects performance or system compatibility in the slightest?

Oh. Wait. Are you talking about cloud computing?

Saulkar:

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Source: Tech Dirt

Holy Shit. How stupid do they think we are, I mean, there are probably some pretty stupid people but it is a fricken coffee maker for waffle's sake! What kind of safety precautions do you need besides large pretty pictures that say "Don't Fucking Touch This, Hot Stuff!"?!

considering they thought it was a good idea to begin with, i think they think were pretty stupid.

mysecondlife:

and its a stupid analogy. Sony doesn't make money off of all the blu-ray disc sales nor they are the only manufacturer of blu-ray players.

except, that it does
http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-9874317-7.html

It gets royalties on every Blue-ray drive and somethig along 1.5 cents for every disc sold. They license out the right to manufacture discs.

FoolKiller:

I can't wait till Sony blurays only play Sony Studios movies... because that is where this logic would lead. :S

Well, Sony tried that with DVDs. Nintendo suceeded. and there is also regionlocking which is equally stupid.
then again there is peopel complaining about exactly that problem

Infernal Lawyer:

I understand someone claiming that DRM actually stops piracy (I mean, that IS what it's technically designed for), but since when did anyone claim DRM affects performance or system compatibility in the slightest?

Oh. Wait. Are you talking about cloud computing?

is that sarcasm? please tell me it is sarcasm.
Of course DRM affect performance. from baisc bloatware sitting there eating resources to things like SecuRom malfunctioning and locking you out of the game completely. Oh, and lets not forget Games for Windows Live actually deletign your saves if you connect to them wrongly.

I go out for coffee, so this is whatever for me, however can't I just use a cracked pod??

Oh, Keurig weighed in?
"Safety reasons"?
How does blocking out a competitor's goods provide personal "Safety" to the consumer again?

Safety for Keurig's profit margin maybe, but definitely not for the consumer.

If this is the direction Keurig wants to go and just publicly lie to the consumer's face, well, I'll be sure to never buy a Keurig product.

DRM: Digital Rights Management

Are coffee grounds now a downloadable product?

Or are they requiring you to be always-on before you can run the coffeemaking software?

MinionJoe:
DRM: Digital Rights Management

Are coffee grounds now a downloadable product?

Or are they requiring you to be always-on before you can run the coffeemaking software?

Oh don't be so literal-minded! It's the concept that matters.
Besides, actual Always-Online will be implemented with Keurig 3.0. To stop those filthy competitors from harming their market share customers.

Atmos Duality:

Oh don't be so literal-minded! It's the concept that matters.

Like "dinosaurs were like giant lizards" and "humans evolved from monkeys". It's the concept that's important, not the details, yes? ;)

I'm just not understanding why they don't use existing patent and trademark laws to prevent third parties from developing coffee pods designs that can be used in the Keurig machine. Or was there a previous ruling that said Keurig couldn't prevent third-party refills?

I do know that I can get third-party refill blades for my razor. So maybe I'm missing something.

Though, I will say that third-party blades suck. And it's their poor quality that prevents me from buying them, not because my Gillette Fusion comes with SecuROM installed.

MinionJoe:

Atmos Duality:

Oh don't be so literal-minded! It's the concept that matters.

Like "dinosaurs were like giant lizards" and "humans evolved from monkeys". It's the concept that's important, not the details, yes? ;)

I'm just not understanding why they don't use existing patent and trademark laws to prevent third parties from developing coffee pods designs that can be used in the Keurig machine. Or was there a previous ruling that said Keurig couldn't prevent third-party refills?

I do know that I can get third-party refill blades for my razor. So maybe I'm missing something.

Though, I will say that third-party blades suck. And it's their poor quality that prevents me from buying them, not because my Gillette Fusion comes with SecuROM installed.

Simple.. you can't really patent a geometric shape...

Honestly, the company is well within their rights. No one said they had to make their coffee makers compatible with everyone else's. Hey are well within their legal rights. I mean you couldn't play a BetaMax Tape on your VHS, you can't play an BlueRay on your DVD player, etc, you can't install an intel chip on an AMD Mobo.

Heck we saw this during the super disk era of portable storage, back before CD-Burners were a thing, there many super disk products, the Iomega Zip and Jazz drives, the Imation Superdisk, etc... none of these were cross compatible with the others. Of course this is what pretty much killed out tyhe entire era and market... once CD Burners came around it was just simpler. Your disks could be read in any cd drive, andas long as it was a writeable disk the drive didn't care about the brand.

Then when USB's came around it was the last shovel of dirt on the super disk grave. Exclusivity has it's advantage so does inclusivity. FOr example a coffee maker that can work with any brand of refill packet would be very popular among consumers and thus gain market dominance.

Strazdas:

Saulkar:

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Source: Tech Dirt

Holy Shit. How stupid do they think we are, I mean, there are probably some pretty stupid people but it is a fricken coffee maker for waffle's sake! What kind of safety precautions do you need besides large pretty pictures that say "Don't Fucking Touch This, Hot Stuff!"?!

considering they thought it was a good idea to begin with, i think they think were pretty stupid.

mysecondlife:

and its a stupid analogy. Sony doesn't make money off of all the blu-ray disc sales nor they are the only manufacturer of blu-ray players.

except, that it does
http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-9874317-7.html

It gets royalties on every Blue-ray drive and somethig along 1.5 cents for every disc sold. They license out the right to manufacture discs.

FoolKiller:

I can't wait till Sony blurays only play Sony Studios movies... because that is where this logic would lead. :S

Well, Sony tried that with DVDs. Nintendo suceeded. and there is also regionlocking which is equally stupid.
then again there is peopel complaining about exactly that problem

Infernal Lawyer:

I understand someone claiming that DRM actually stops piracy (I mean, that IS what it's technically designed for), but since when did anyone claim DRM affects performance or system compatibility in the slightest?

Oh. Wait. Are you talking about cloud computing?

is that sarcasm? please tell me it is sarcasm.
Of course DRM affect performance. from baisc bloatware sitting there eating resources to things like SecuRom malfunctioning and locking you out of the game completely. Oh, and lets not forget Games for Windows Live actually deletign your saves if you connect to them wrongly.

What I mean was that Sony doesn't make 100% of all sales. I realize that was a horrible wording on my part.

Infernal Lawyer:

FalloutJack:

Steven Bogos:

Update: Keurig has responded to the widespread negative feedback regarding this change, assuring fans that "It's critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology." Safety reasons. That's a good one.

Wow, we've never heard anything like that here! Like from anyone who favors DRM or tries to justify bricking a device of any sort for any reason at all! No, never!

*Laughs*

I DID say people would reject this in droves because they want their goddamn coffee, and I was right!

Wait, what?

I understand someone claiming that DRM actually stops piracy (I mean, that IS what it's technically designed for), but since when did anyone claim DRM affects performance or system compatibility in the slightest?

Oh. Wait. Are you talking about cloud computing?

This was an all-purpose general quip on the reports we get here on the always-on DRM games which will not run unless you're under Sauron's Eye the whole time, as well as a poke at Nintendo's 3DS security measures that give them the right to shut off one of their machine remotely (which may or my not be due to piracy, but the idea that it can happen to a normal schlub was my reason for No Sale). So yes, this does poke fun at the cloud, but it's broad-strokes against the overall practice, which I find is witch-hunting and...Harrumphing instead of trying alternatives.

I also made point that people who get their coffee interfered with are the angriest mob of all.

Strazdas:

Infernal Lawyer:

I understand someone claiming that DRM actually stops piracy (I mean, that IS what it's technically designed for), but since when did anyone claim DRM affects performance or system compatibility in the slightest?

Oh. Wait. Are you talking about cloud computing?

is that sarcasm? please tell me it is sarcasm.
Of course DRM affect performance. from baisc bloatware sitting there eating resources to things like SecuRom malfunctioning and locking you out of the game completely. Oh, and lets not forget Games for Windows Live actually deletign your saves if you connect to them wrongly.

I should have been more clear, though I WAS talking about the pro-DRM crowd. I meant I've yet to hear anyone claim DRM POSITIVELY affects a game's performance.

FalloutJack:

This was an all-purpose general quip on the reports we get here on the always-on DRM games which will not run unless you're under Sauron's Eye the whole time, as well as a poke at Nintendo's 3DS security measures that give them the right to shut off one of their machine remotely (which may or my not be due to piracy, but the idea that it can happen to a normal schlub was my reason for No Sale). So yes, this does poke fun at the cloud, but it's broad-strokes against the overall practice, which I find is witch-hunting and...Harrumphing instead of trying alternatives.

I also made point that people who get their coffee interfered with are the angriest mob of all.

Alright, fair enough.

Also, from my understanding Nintendo only bricks 3DS' if they think you're ONLY using it for piracy: I've read ages ago that they tend to mind their own if you're still buying games legitimately. Still, that's hardly official information and you're well in your rights to say you don't want a device that could be remotely bricked.

Infernal Lawyer:
snip

I should hope so, but I didn't even wanna hear about accidentals. It's my stance on such measures. Nintendo isn't a bunch of assholes. Just short-sighted.

Captcha: without a doubt

Heh.

Kuala BangoDango:
Hmmm.

I wonder if we could talk GOG into branching out into the coffee market.

Think they would go for that?

"We here at GOG know that coffee-piracy stems from anti-consumer practices like coffee DRM which ultimately don't work. We are vehemently against DRM in all it's forms which is why we only sell DRM free coffee and makers. Yes, we do run the risk of some people pirating our version of coffee and makers but we feel that by offering a better service, like keeping our coffees updated to the latest coffee-maker operating systems as well as offering free extras like coffee wallpapers and cup-o-joe soundtracks, we can convince many coffee pirates to turn to purchasing our products legitimately." - Anonymous GOG employee

This post may just be the best thing i have read today (ok it is 01:20 where i am so admittedly i haven't read much today, but still).

OT: I just hope people have the integrity to not buy these machines. Lets give Keurig a bloody nose over this and maybe we can stop the rot before it sets in.

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