Loch Ness Monster Spotted on Apple Maps, or Just a Boat?

Loch Ness Monster Spotted on Apple Maps, or Just a Boat?

Nessie

An Apple Maps satellite image shows a figure that some claim to be the Loch Ness Monster, while others claim it to be a boat.

The long-surviving dinosaur believed by some to inhabit Scotland's Loch Ness has been captured via satellite image and is visible on Apple Maps. At least, that's what members of the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club told UK tabloid the Daily Mail.

The Apple Maps image shows what appears to be a 65-foot long catfish in Loch Ness, which some are claiming to be Nessie. While it isn't a popularly held belief that the Loch Ness Monster resembles a catfish in any way, the image clearly shows something monstrous in size and possessing a shape that suggests flippers. The Nessie experts studied the image for six months before concluding that the image is "likely" to portray the monster, even though it also resembles the wake of a boat.

"It looks like a boat wake, but the boat is missing. You can see some boats moored at the shore, but there isn't one here," Club president Gary Campbell told the Daily Mail. "We've shown it to boat experts, and they don't know what it is."

Well, skeptics at Southern Fried Science believe they know what it is: a boat. After tracking down images showing similar wake patterns and the boats that generated them, SFS argued that the Apple Maps image is nothing but a degraded picture of a boat.

Source: The Daily Mail, via Forbes

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Just a boat. HAH.

Exactly what I'd expect the lizardpeople-controlled lamestream media to HAARP on about. Southern Fried Science is a well known mouthpiece for the Bilderberg group. Classic "lamestream" misinformation! Next they'll try to convince you that bigfoot ISN'T a government research catastrophe. GIANT SQUID, PEOPLE. God.

i'm in character. if that much isnt obvious, come on.

Let's see. Boats exist... Nessie doesn't Case CLosed. Really what is it a slow tourist year for the loch?

Seriously now, the hoax has already been admitted. Science has already proven that nessie couldn't exist there and no one who wasn't drunk has been able to turn up any evidence.

"It looks like a boat wake, but the boat is missing."
That's odd, since it's very easy to make out the damned boat. If the edges don't give it away all the little details in the middle do. It's impossible to miss, you can even see where the damned...driver, pilot? Who steers a boat anyway? Seaman? Where they stand.

It's obviously a derelict Reaper. All those "scientists" have just been indoctrinated.

Ferisar:
It's obviously a derelict Reaper. All those "scientists" have just been indoctrinated.

This seems to be the most logical explanation.

I think the people claiming it's Nessie are just trying to drum up publicity.

Atleast I hope that's what they're doing, and that they aren't really that F'ing stupid...

Well, if she's on apple maps, that's just more proof she doesn't really exist.

BigTuk:
Let's see. Boats exist... Nessie doesn't Case CLosed. Really what is it a slow tourist year for the loch?

Seriously now, the hoax has already been admitted. Science has already proven that nessie couldn't exist there and no one who wasn't drunk has been able to turn up any evidence.

That's true for religions, psychics, ghosts, etc. too, it hasn't stopped people from claiming it's real despite all evidence to the contrary.

thiosk:
Just a boat. HAH.

Exactly what I'd expect the lizardpeople-controlled lamestream media to HAARP on about. Southern Fried Science is a well known mouthpiece for the Bilderberg group. Classic "lamestream" misinformation! Next they'll try to convince you that bigfoot ISN'T a government research catastrophe. GIANT SQUID, PEOPLE. God.

Damn. I was all set to write some joke, but you absolutely nailed this one. Excellent work.

thiosk:
Just a boat. HAH.

Exactly what I'd expect the lizardpeople-controlled lamestream media to HAARP on about. Southern Fried Science is a well known mouthpiece for the Bilderberg group. Classic "lamestream" misinformation! Next they'll try to convince you that bigfoot ISN'T a government research catastrophe. GIANT SQUID, PEOPLE. God.

i'm in character. if that much isnt obvious, come on.

There's only one man who can be behind this.

BARROWMAN! *Shakes fist*

BigTuk:

Seriously now, the hoax has already been admitted.

This is the level of reporting I expect from the Daily Fail, however. They may actually not know that picture was debunked and explained.

Ferisar:
It's obviously a derelict Reaper. All those "scientists" have just been indoctrinated.

Oh God, always with the Indoctrination Theory. Bioware shot that down with the extended Nessie DLC over a year ago. Let it go!

Bitch please. I've been to Loch Ness after growing up at the southern tip of one of New York's Finger Lakes and was pretty damn disappointed. You couldn't even fit a robust tuna in that Scottish puddle everyone gets so worked up over, let alone a monster.

Mithcha:
Who steers a boat anyway? Seaman? Where they stand.

I believe they are called "helmsman".

OT: Yeah, its a damn boat. You can clearly see the wake, plus you can just make the actual boat out.

It comes off as a poor photoshop job to me.

More likely it's Photoshop fakery done by a bored Apple employee.

I'm curious to know what exactly a "boat expert" is in this context. lol

I bet it's a sunken boat or something that disrupted the sediment when it went down.

Jacco:
I'm curious to know what exactly a "boat expert" is in this context. lol

If a 'boat expert' is anything like a 'bigfoot/nessie expert' then it is someone who has no idea what a boat actually is but they do have a low resolution, poorly framed picture that is definitely maybe a boat.

Zachary Amaranth:

Oh God, always with the Indoctrination Theory. Bioware shot that down with the extended Nessie DLC over a year ago. Let it go!

Bioware may think they have it under Loch and key, but I know better. I know the truth about the HugeNess of THIS Monstergate. It's just the step up from indoctrinating all those big stupid jellyfish.

... Exit's on the left, right? I'll uh, I'll go now.

Och aye the noo, its a wee nessie I tell ya!

that's what members of the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club told UK tabloid the Daily Mail

1st problem: The Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club
2nd problem: The Daily Mail
3rd problem: boat expert

MeChaNiZ3D:

that's what members of the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club told UK tabloid the Daily Mail

1st problem: The Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club
2nd problem: The Daily Mail
3rd problem: boat expert

Wait, it took them six months to work out that it "might be a monster, or it might be a boat"? Really?

Anyhow, I'm incredibly skeptical for two reasons. One, the Loch Ness Monster Fan Club aren't exactly likely to be unbiased in terms of "is the monster real?" queries. And two, the Daily Mail are hardly considered by most to be a reputable bastion of journalistic integrity...

Tis but a boat. I can even see it in the middle of the wake, or at least the outline of where it should be.

Oh dear, on the SFS page they've got a hold of the preceding satellite images in the sequence, which clearly show a boat with an identical wake.

How very mundane.

The official loch ness monster fan club + The daily mail = Garunteed bullshit

I'm not gonna lie; if I worked at Google or Apple I'd probably be tempted to stick in an unambiguous Loch Ness Monster silhouette as a gag. Heck, at Google I'd expect something like that to be encouraged. Apple would probably take me out back and shoot me for it.

Well, since Nessie isn't reputed to be a catfish, I would have to just be Captain Obvious here and call bullshit.

(Actually, don't we HAVE a Captain Obvious around here? And if so, where is he?)

Woah, man. That's some trippy stuff...I didn't know Apple maps was a thing. Also, I didn't know anyone thought Nessie resembled the World's largest catfish.

Hagi:

That is not how you make a map, Apple. O.o

 

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