Dead Whale Threatens Coastal Town With Possible Explosion

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Dead Whale Threatens Coastal Town With Possible Explosion

Nuke the Whales

The town of Trout River, Newfoundland is trying to figure out how to get rid of a massive blue whale carcass that's washed up on its shores before it explodes.

The small town of Trout River, Newfoundland is faced with a unique and rather unpleasant problem. The body of a blue whale, presumed to be one of several that died in heavy ice off the province's west coast, has washed up on the town's beach. This is problematic for a few reasons.

For one thing, it's reportedly giving off a rather powerful odor, as you might well expect from a dead sea creature 25 meters - more than 80 feet - long. Despite the stench, the carcass is actually drawing in people from the region who want to see a blue whale up close. One bright fellow actually stood on top of the thing to have his photo taken.

"It's very difficult to keep people away, simply because it's not too often that you see a blue whale," Trout River Town Clerk Emily Butler told the CBC.

But the more pressing issue is what happens down the road, as summer arrives and the temperature goes up. Gases inside the carcass are already causing it to bloat, and the townsfolk are concerned that eventually it's going to pop. "The whale is blowing up. It looks as if it's a big balloon, from a distance," Butler said. "There is a possibility as well, with all these gases inside the whale, that it may possibly explode. That's a major concern for us."

And that leads to the real bottom-line problem facing the town: It's on its own. Butler said she's been told that because the whale is now on town property, it's the town's problem. But with a total population in the neighborhood of 688 people, it has neither the resources nor the expertise to deal with it. Butler said she is now in the process of trying to find a government agency that will help dispose of the whale before it paints the town red on hot summer night.

Source: CBC

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I just had the odd mental picture of the whale just floating away like a balloon instead of exploding.

Blubber blimp!

No but seriously I feel bad for this town. Whale bombings injure thousands every year.

Why wait for it to explode?

They should just cut the thing open now to prevent this even becoming a thing, if they do it smart they should cut it open on the sea facing side of the corpse so the guts just wash out into the sea for other sea life to eat, and so they have to clean up less mess themselves.

Surely someone in town has a chainsaw or such.

this reminds me of a story where someone cut open a dead whale and boom guts everywhere

image

Neonbob, Canada needs you.

This is just the beginning of a war instigated by those monsters of the deep. Biological weaponry, they're heinous!

Would putting some holes in the whale to let the gasses escape work?

Quick, someone get @Neonbob: he's our only hope to stop these evil whales once and for all! >:D
Although, I think he's busy raising his child right now, so let's form a backup plan just in case.

Redlin5:
image

Neonbob, Canada needs you.

This is just the beginning of a war instigated by those monsters of the deep. Biological weaponry, they're heinous!

Seems we think alike eh Redlin. XD

yea a whale blowing up is a bad idea

Angelous Wang:
Why wait for it to explode?

They should just cut the thing open now to prevent this even becoming a thing, if they do it smart they should cut it open on the sea facing side of the corpse so the guts just wash out into the sea for other sea life to eat, and so they have to clean up less mess themselves.

Surely someone in town has a chainsaw or such.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Though, my thought was to actually do it from further back by poking lots of holes in it at range either with a high-powered gun or speargun / harpoon that way no one is in danger of getting stuff on them. Once it's well-perforated they can then safely cut it up or leave it for nature to do it's work without worry of further build-up.

Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

Angelous Wang:
*snip*

Kuala BangoDango:
*snip*

Yeah, yeah, you could poke holes in it...

OR

i heard the whale liberation front is taking credit for the attack

Spartan448:
Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

I'm still having nightmares about that particular mission. Giant creepy crawlies crawling creepily all over and making my skin crawl, ugh...

Take a sharp point stick and stab it into the whale. Do this 100 times and make sure to puncture the guts... problem solved and it can now rot without exploding. It will stink but the sea gulls will clean that shit up real quick.

Is it wrong that my only reaction to this was to laugh and yell "YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKED!"

Spartan448:
Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

No point. Run. Just RUN!

I have lost so many rookies to that one mission - these days I heavily consider phoning up the Council when it comes up and just saying "Yeah, XCOM is calling in sick today. Yup, all of us. We all got the flu. Blame one of the science guys."

(This is partly because it often comes up annoyingly early for me. On the occasion that I had an entire team of Colonels to take care of business, I'm not sure anyone even took a scratch...)

ANYWAY... On topic: I guess they'll at least have a decent whale skeleton to sell to a museum when this is all over? (Assuming, of course, that it ISN'T filled with Chryssalids.)

This is our century's Cold War.

Saucycarpdog:
I just had the odd mental picture of the whale just floating away like a balloon instead of exploding.

Blubber blimp!

Truly a sight to behold

The_Darkness:

Spartan448:
Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

No point. Run. Just RUN!

I have lost so many rookies to that one mission - these days I heavily consider phoning up the Council when it comes up and just saying "Yeah, XCOM is calling in sick today. Yup, all of us. We all got the flu. Blame one of the science guys."

(This is partly because it often comes up annoyingly early for me. On the occasion that I had an entire team of Colonels to take care of business, I'm not sure anyone even took a scratch...)

ANYWAY... On topic: I guess they'll at least have a decent whale skeleton to sell to a museum when this is all over? (Assuming, of course, that it ISN'T filled with Chryssalids.)

Yeah, that mission started off well for me (4 of 6 team members were snipers, so most of the Chryssalids died before they could get close on the approach), until I triggered the whale. Getting back to the Sky Ranger was the worst part of that mission, and it literally ended with one of my last 2 units (a heavy), killing himself with a rocket to kill the only chryssalid in range of my last sniper, who was then able to dash to the Sky Ranger to escape. I shudder to think of what kind of PTSD you get from that kind of mission...

direkiller:

yea a whale blowing up is a bad idea

Have to love my home State, and County... seriously though, when using explosives don't put any on the far side of the intended target or under it, unless you like shotgunning debris in your direction.

Spartan448:

The_Darkness:

Spartan448:
Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

No point. Run. Just RUN!

I have lost so many rookies to that one mission - these days I heavily consider phoning up the Council when it comes up and just saying "Yeah, XCOM is calling in sick today. Yup, all of us. We all got the flu. Blame one of the science guys."

(This is partly because it often comes up annoyingly early for me. On the occasion that I had an entire team of Colonels to take care of business, I'm not sure anyone even took a scratch...)

ANYWAY... On topic: I guess they'll at least have a decent whale skeleton to sell to a museum when this is all over? (Assuming, of course, that it ISN'T filled with Chryssalids.)

Yeah, that mission started off well for me (4 of 6 team members were snipers, so most of the Chryssalids died before they could get close on the approach), until I triggered the whale. Getting back to the Sky Ranger was the worst part of that mission, and it literally ended with one of my last 2 units (a heavy), killing himself with a rocket to kill the only chryssalid in range of my last sniper, who was then able to dash to the Sky Ranger to escape. I shudder to think of what kind of PTSD you get from that kind of mission...

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. I'm sorry, but in my games, half of that province is gone. X-com ain't coming.

I did that mission once and had a survivor. (That's the amazing part.) Everyone else became zombies, but he was still by the boat when one snuck up from behind and incapacitated him. Bleeding out. Right next to the boat... And he survived. Figure that one out!!

Andy? Did you ask Neonbob if you could use his avatar for this?

(just kidding)

Once it's already bloated it's already too late, it WILL explode if they tried to puncture the carcass and it will explode if they wait. So in a way, the whale exploding is inevitable.

Edit: http://www.snotr.com/video/12349/Sperm_Whale_Explodes this is what happens when you poke it.

and http://www.snotr.com/video/1483/How_NOT_to_get_rid_of_a_whale this is what happens when you try something else.

Redlin5:
image

Neonbob, Canada needs you.

This is just the beginning of a war instigated by those monsters of the deep. Biological weaponry, they're heinous!

Apparently I've been away for too goddamn long.
Now they've started thinking they can kamikaze themselves. This cannot stand!
For the sake of all coastal towns, I shall resume my vendetta!

Neronium:
Quick, someone get @Neonbob: he's our only hope to stop these evil whales once and for all! >:D
Although, I think he's busy raising his child right now, so let's form a backup plan just in case.

It is entirely possible I will take my child to the beach some time this coming year. So a backup plan will not be necessary!

EDIT:
I also love the picture you chose for the article.

Can't they either tow it to more open waters with a boat (possibly putting cushion under it to make sure it doesn't rip on the rocks) and make it explode there?

Or make a hole on the right end, so the guts spill out into the bay otherwise?

Rex Dark:
Would putting some holes in the whale to let the gasses escape work?

Yeah, surely someone in the town owns a stick. Problem solved. If doing it up close is a problem then I hear we have a device that propels small metal objects at rapid rates of speed out of a cylinder via expanding gases...

Couldn't they just use acid as a solution (teehee)? Go breaking bad on body disposal?

What about harvesting the whale for oil, bone and other whale stuff?
It's dead already so I don't think anyone will mind.

Lightknight:

Rex Dark:
Would putting some holes in the whale to let the gasses escape work?

Yeah, surely someone in the town owns a stick. Problem solved. If doing it up close is a problem then I hear we have a device that propels small metal objects at rapid rates of speed out of a cylinder via expanding gases...

Couldn't they just use acid as a solution (teehee)? Go breaking bad on body disposal?

The whale is 80 feet long and weighs who knows how much so that would be a lot of acid. Plus, bodies are usually put in a barrel or something so that the acid can eat away at the body over time so you need something very big for that size of a body.

I realize this is a genuine health and sanitation concern...but every time I think about the situation I can't help but laugh. To a resident of a landlocked state this is absolutely hysterical! God the worst we have here in Missouri is skunks, or maybe some easter eggs the kids never found.

Spartan448:
Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

Why is it that every time I go to the comments of an article just to make a smartass reference, it ends up stealthed?

Hat's off to you, sir.

Whale, they're certainly in trouble :D

If it were me, i'd cut it up now before it bloats, that way the gases can't build up to explosion point, a chainsaw should do it.

Is there something wrong with a massive cookout?

As president, I would fund a special branch of FEMA for responding to this exact thing. They would fly in and immediately harvest all meat and ambergris and all parts of value, then transport the picked over carcass to the ocean where it would be dropped, as whale carcasses are essential parts of the ocean ecology, as seen here...

Spartan448:
Wait, we're worried about a dead whale in Newfoundland? As in NEWFOUNDLAND?!

Fuck removing the carcass, call X-COM before the town is overrun with Chryssalids.

As soon as I read the article I thought exactly the same thing!

If they don't get rid of that thing soon, everyone near the blast radius will whale in anguish.

Eh?

EEEEEEEHHHH???

...

:(

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