Russia Tells U.S. to Use A Trampoline to Send Its Astronauts to the ISS

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Russia Tells U.S. to Use A Trampoline to Send Its Astronauts to the ISS

International Space Station Wikipedia

New sanctions imposed by the U.S. against Russia have prompted Russia to threaten to stop letting the U.S. use its shuttles to transport its astronauts to the International Space Station.

In response to Russia's actions towards Ukraine, NASA suspended contact with Russia in early April, except for matters related to the International Space Station. On Monday, the United States imposed a new round of sanctions against Russia, prompting Russia's Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin to threaten to stop letting the U.S. make use of its space shuttles.

"The United States introduced sanctions against our space industry... We warned them, we will reply to statements with statements, to actions with actions," Rogozin wrote on Twitter. "I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."

With no active shuttles of its own, the U.S. has relied on Russia to send astronauts to the ISS since 2011. However, given Russia charges a cost of $60 million per person and the industry needs the funding, analysts believe Rogozin's threat to be hollow.

The new sanctions imposed by the U.S. deny export licenses for any high-tech items that could aid Russian military capabilities, including satellites. Russia had planned to launch five commercial satellites this year, contracted by foreign clients; these launches may now be at risk.

"This is a very sensitive issue since our defence industry was completely unprepared for such developments," said Sergei Oznobishchev, director at the Institute for Strategic Assessments think-tank in Moscow. "Both sides will suffer, but Russia will lose out more in terms of technology transfer."

Source: Reuters

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$60 million per person? Methinks SpaceX can do better.

Lightknight:
$60 million per person? Methinks SpaceX can do better.

Agreed.

Guess what Russia? This seems like a wonderful opportunity for the US to quickly find a way to not need your services in the future. They have said they want to see a private space sector develop, so here's another golden opportunity.

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

EDIT: quote me if you must, but I wont respond. I'm not touching anything controversial or R&P-esque until my health bar isn't in the danger zone.
heh, danger zone.

Russia... there's a phrase we have.. cutting your nose to spite your face.

The spanish have a phrase that roughly translates to ' To shit in the milk'

You kinda did both of these at once since you've just given the US and/or china a perfect reason to develop their own shuttle tech.

And they'd only have to charge 59 mill per person to be an easy win.

Well, since the US doesn't seem to care much about the space program these days, if they don't find another solution then the American astronauts will be forced to take a long, long vacation.

SpaceX can probably do a better job anyway. They've successfully launched Falcon 9 recently. I watched it live.

major_chaos:

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

Yeah! Fuck those western backed regimes! Not like Russia has it's dick in several countries as well. Not like any country with the power to back it wont start manipulating activities in other countries to suit their own needs.

Lightknight:
$60 million per person? Methinks SpaceX can do better.

They could probably make it cheaper, but theyll probably also kill the passengers.

Seriously, safley getting people into orbit is no joke.

... threaten to stop letting the U.S. use its shuttles ...

Seeing as how the Russian shuttle Buran was destroyed in 2002 when it's hanger collapsed, I don't see this as much of a threat.

Of course, they could mean "shuttling astronauts" using their Soyuz capsules. Which would certainly be a temporary inconvenience. At least until the Space X Dragon capsule passed man-rated qualifications.

Also, every trampoline manufacturer I could find on the internet was based in American. Just another product the Russians will have to do without, I suppose.

gigastar:

Lightknight:
$60 million per person? Methinks SpaceX can do better.

They could probably make it cheaper, but theyll probably also kill the passengers.

Seriously, safley getting people into orbit is no joke.

The only two space vehicles that have incurred astronaut/cosmonaut fatalities are the Soyuz and the American space shuttle. And the shuttle isn't in use anymore.

Also, a man-rated Dragon capsule from Space X is in the works.

http://www.space.com/15615-spacex-dragon-capsule-crew-mockup.html

The unmanned version is already in service.

major_chaos:

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

As opposed to Russian backed ones like Syria.

You would think that Russia would think a little, 60 million isn't exactly chump change and they may be the only town for now but once NASA stops faffing about with ORION or a private group like SpaceX comes calling you'll be in the hole.

major_chaos:

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

You want us to live under Putin? Nah, thank you very much. If it happens, you can expect mass murders of anti-Yanukovich protesters. Or something like that.

Ed130 The Vanguard:

As opposed to Russian backed ones like Syria.

Oh Syria, thanks for reminding me of another time Russia was actually willing to do the unthinkable and oppose the US.

Mister K:

You want us to live under Putin? Nah, thank you very much. If it happens, you can expect mass murders of anti-Yanukovich protesters. Or something like that.

Doubtful. Besides its not like the rebel government is adverse to bloodshed.

major_chaos:

Ed130 The Vanguard:

As opposed to Russian backed ones like Syria.

Oh Syria, thanks for reminding me of another time Russia was actually willing to do the unthinkable and oppose the US.

Yes, because chemical weapons makes everything better.

UH OH! This thread is gonna get all politikal. Lots of people with no real idea about what they're talking about, all voicing their opinions as though it's fact. The internet at it's most pure.

I for one think it's a great idea. How large do you think the trampoline would need to be to launch a shuttle into space?

y'know contrary to what seems popular belief the US doesn't outright own the ISS...it's not actually reagan's "Space Station Freedom" and is actually a combination of 3 different stations: Russian/Soviet Mir-2, NASA's Freedom including the Japanese Kibō laboratory, and the European Columbus space stations...with the Russians by far and away having the most actually expertise in the field, contributing the bulk of the initial key modules and the most trips too and from.

MinionJoe:
Also, every trampoline manufacturer I could find on the internet was based in American. Just another product the Russians will have to do without, I suppose.

oh dear gawd...

lets start with basics...

a. the world is actually reeeeally big...

b. so is Russia. far, far bigger than the US

and is a fully functioning economy in its own right....albeit something of a petrostate on a geopolitical scale...

c. you cannot, actually find everything in existence on the internet...in fact there's a fair chance you can't even view most pages from foreign countries because your ISP/DNS server provider simply won't bother maintaining the overhead.

d. this isn't the cold war. people in for the most part Russia work, buy, spend and lead lives extremely close to how you live your own.

major_chaos:

Ed130 The Vanguard:

As opposed to Russian backed ones like Syria.

Oh Syria, thanks for reminding me of another time Russia was actually willing to do the unthinkable and oppose the US.

Mister K:

You want us to live under Putin? Nah, thank you very much. If it happens, you can expect mass murders of anti-Yanukovich protesters. Or something like that.

Doubtful. Besides its not like the rebel government is adverse to bloodshed.

major_chaos:

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

You do realize this isn't just American interests right?

The EU are also very much opposed to Russia doing what Russia's doing. And China, traditionally always siding with Russia, is abstaining from votes relating to these issues.

Russia isn't just not bending over to American interests, they're actively attempting to bend over Ukraine for Russian interests.

Ed130 The Vanguard:

Yes, because chemical weapons makes everything better.

Because unproven allegations are a great reason to enter yet another pointless war in support of untrustworthy rebels. Diplomacy? Proof? What are you a communist? TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE GO!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

OT: Seems like a lot of sabre rattling, but we'll see.

In other news, don't feed the trolls kids.

Yea our government spends millions toppling the legally elected pro russian government, that would be like if putin personally went to texas to ovethrow the texas governent and put pro russian puppet government in.

The hell putin is not prize winner but obama make putin look like a gdamn elder statesman. And no way in fing hell would any nation let another topple a legally elected governemnt on its borders and not take offense.

American has zero business in ukraine, obama has zero business getting buthurt over putin pushing back. obama is a facist illegal clown, his foreign policy is a joke, his national security is too concered with right wingers as terrorists and loves to help fund islamic terrorists liek the islamic brotherhood. hell they cannot even use the word terrorists with al caida but sure as shit can mention it when talking about tea partiers and people that are sick to death of governemt and tis spying lying stealing and illegal actions.

Obama and his admin also seem bound and determined to set race relations back 30 years as he turns everything into racial stuff to cover his vapid illegal ass. yes obama everyone dislikes you is because your black not because you violated every campaign promise you ever uttered lie every time you open your mouth, and outright break the laws of this nation and your oath of office in short mr obama you and half your admin are guilty of treason and that carries the death penality. but you would call me a terrorist. not bin laden though.

major_chaos:

Ed130 The Vanguard:

As opposed to Russian backed ones like Syria.

Oh Syria, thanks for reminding me of another time Russia was actually willing to do the unthinkable and oppose the US.

Mister K:

You want us to live under Putin? Nah, thank you very much. If it happens, you can expect mass murders of anti-Yanukovich protesters. Or something like that.

Doubtful. Besides its not like the rebel government is adverse to bloodshed.

If by rebel goverment you mean ones that are in charge of Kiev now, then they don't want bloodshed, but they are too weak and incompetent to do anything useful (at least for now).
If by rebel goverment you mean those ex-cons that are now stirring shit up in the east, then, well, what can I say, whether they want bloodshed or not, they'll do whatever their paying boss tells them. To understand what I mean, read the following (mind, that if you'll answer to this post, I won't be able to nswer to it, because for the next few days I'll be out of town and by the time I'll be able to answer this topic will lose it's relevance).

Anyhow. UA is in really, REALLY bad shape. Major cities can somehow survive, but anything smaller is choked by lack of money,work and jacked-up prices on everything. Oh, and also corruption. Those people, those protesters (be it those, who acted during winter or those that are shooting people in the east now), greater part of them are poor. They are in fact so poor, that they stand on the streets, during cold and heat, rain and snow, for 200-300 hryvna (thats about 20-30 USD) per day. And that is the only source of money they can get, because there is basically nowhere to work for them. I don't mean that ALL of them are such, great many of them are really interested in their future (especially Universities students) but still greater part of them aren't interested in anything but survival.

No matter what would have happened during winter, we would have been f-ed, because it was either this...person, that thought of himself as of king and basically used every single coin of our budget for his own leisure, or those guys that are "running" the country now, who care not about people, but simply want power.
No matter what happens now, we are either under dictator, who lets his bitch rule us as he pleases as long as he gives most of the money to Russia, or those incompetent shmucks that we have now.

What I want is stability in the future. I want to be able to decide the destiny of my country without asking for approval from US, EU or Russia. I want better future. I want my kids to live here and at least be mostly sattisfied with their lives.

But for you, Mr. American, Mr. Oh so high and mighty, it's just a reason to complain about actions of your government, whose only fault was letting people who couldn't afford credits to actually get them. For you, white middle-class young guy, it is just a show. I really, really hope that nothing bad ever happens to your coutry (I mean it, I am not being sarcastic or something), because feeling a potential invader (not like Iraq, or any other coutry that doesn't give two shits about you as long as you don't mess with their affairs) threatening to strike at any moment is... Painful at the very least.

Sleekit:

d. this isn't the cold war. people in for the most part Russia work, buy, spend and lead lives extremely close to how you live your own.

Having lived in Korea for many years of the actual Cold War, I can say first-hand that a lot of Russia's actions are very similar to the sabre-rattling conducted by the Soviet Union (and it's allies) during that time. Unfortunately, it appears that the United States (and it's allies) are willing to reciprocate.

I'd much rather not have to worry about complete nuclear annihilation every 15 minutes again.

But every time I Google "Russian trampolines", I just get articles about the ISS.

So until evidence to the contrary is presented, the only trampoline manufacturers I can find are American (and possibly one Chinese).

*rattlerattlerattle*

This thread needs an adult.

At any rate, they would be rather foolish to actually go through with their threats.

Scorpid:

image

Can we just /thread it now, take it to R&P and leave it at that? On a more important note I would also like to have the names of any Russian or Russian allied trampoline manufacturers. The only thing of note I found was this.

The way all of these things go is that the EU and America try to impose sanctions on Russia such as increased tariffs on Russian goods and then Russia just goes "oh? So thats how we're playing? Okay then heres a cheeky little tighten up on all that oil, natural gas and coal europe needs. Sound good? Good!".

The EU then backs down and so does Russia but they both still make threats for a while and glare at each other from across the room like toddlers who have been caught fighting by their parents... albeit toddlers with nuclear arms..

Before anyone stars firing off at me for "supporting Russia" I just want to get it out that I in no way support what Russia has done and I understand the danger as several of my friends come from previously Russian countries such as Georgia and Lithuania, I just wanted to point out that we've seen this happen many times before and it has always gone the same way but at varying intensities.

(Bare in mind that just because I'm not a fan of Russia and Putin that does NOT mean I am a supporter of America, they've dicked over their people enough times as well just in a different form)

major_chaos:

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

Hang on?!?

Russia going all "Winter War" (look it up, it's not the first time Russia has annexed foreign territory as a bufferzone) on Ukraine is a good thing?!?

Sorry mate, but Ukraine is not a "USA vs Russia" thing. It's Russia illegally annexing foreign territory from a sovereign country (Ukraine).

I don't know where that bollocks about Ukraine "belonging to Russia" came from, but fact of the matter is that Ukraine is a sovereign nation and Russia should back the fuck off.

Glademaster:
The only thing of note I found was this.

That's a good find! Designed and built by an Estonian firm, so we can add the EU to the list of trampoline designers/manufacturers. I just wonder what happens when the airspace beneath the walkway gets filled with garbage and broken glass. And those exposed springs would certainly be a liability in a litigious society like America. Though, American trampolines have gotten rather boring in the past couple decades, what with all the added padding and safety rails.

major_chaos:

Ed130 The Vanguard:

Yes, because chemical weapons makes everything better.

Because unproven allegations are a great reason to enter yet another pointless war in support of untrustworthy rebels. Diplomacy? Proof? What are you a communist? TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE GO!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

So the Army forces storing the likes of Sarin were hoodwinked by those nasty rebels who then maliciously launch a massive attack on their own territory with it?

Well call me Kettle for believing all that western lies! Ignoring the fact that the rebels don't have the resources or capability to launch such a massive strike but since Russia and the Syrian government say its true then it must be!

Also: Hello Pot!

Ed130 The Vanguard:

So the Army forces storing the likes of Sarin were hoodwinked by those nasty rebels who then maliciously launch a massive attack on their own territory with it?

Would not surprise me. Rebels are historically willing to go to any length to offset their natural disadvantage.

Ignoring the fact that the rebels don't have the resources or capability to launch such a massive strike

[citation needed]
Also its not like Russia didn't want to fix the problem, they just wanted to give the Syrian government time to dispose of their chemical weapons instead of bombing the shit out of them.

Also: Hello Pot!

cerebus23:
Yea our government spends millions toppling the legally elected pro russian government, that would be like if putin personally went to texas to ovethrow the texas governent and put pro russian puppet government in.

The hell putin is not prize winner but obama make putin look like a gdamn elder statesman. And no way in fing hell would any nation let another topple a legally elected governemnt on its borders and not take offense.

American has zero business in ukraine, obama has zero business getting buthurt over putin pushing back. obama is a facist illegal clown, his foreign policy is a joke, his national security is too concered with right wingers as terrorists and loves to help fund islamic terrorists liek the islamic brotherhood. hell they cannot even use the word terrorists with al caida but sure as shit can mention it when talking about tea partiers and people that are sick to death of governemt and tis spying lying stealing and illegal actions.

Obama and his admin also seem bound and determined to set race relations back 30 years as he turns everything into racial stuff to cover his vapid illegal ass. yes obama everyone dislikes you is because your black not because you violated every campaign promise you ever uttered lie every time you open your mouth, and outright break the laws of this nation and your oath of office in short mr obama you and half your admin are guilty of treason and that carries the death penality. but you would call me a terrorist. not bin laden though.

major_chaos:

"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."


So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.

There are just no words. I know this is the internet where opinions very from as far left to as far right as they can get, plus countless ideologies which have no words to describe, but the level of anti-democracy, pro-dictatorship, pro... you know what, I'll just use this image, it described my feelings more accurately then words ever could.

image

MinionJoe:
every time I Google "Russian trampolines", I just get articles about the ISS.

So until evidence to the contrary is presented, the only trampoline manufacturers I can find are American (and possibly one Chinese).

I used Bing, and I found this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2241831/The-worlds-longest-trampoline-Russian-art-exhibition-hosts-170ft-long-bouncing-runway-built-middle-forest.html

Not only are they miles ahead of us in the space race, they are miles ahead of us in trampoline technology as well.

Bad Jim:

I used Bing, and I found this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2241831/The-worlds-longest-trampoline-Russian-art-exhibition-hosts-170ft-long-bouncing-runway-built-middle-forest.html

Not only are they miles ahead of us in the space race, they are miles ahead of us in trampoline technology as well.

Good find, but it's the same bouncy walkway that was covered in a different article posted by Glademaster. It was designed and built for a Russian festival by an Estonian company. Estonia, being a member of the EU, will probably abide by the sanctions against Russia. So no new ankle-breaking tram-o-paths for Russia for a while. ;)

MrFalconfly:

Sorry mate, but Ukraine is not a "USA vs Russia" thing. It's Russia illegally annexing foreign territory from a sovereign country (Ukraine).

In theory. But in practice it's quite about a geopolitical struggle between Russia, EU and USA, who all have conflicting interests in Ukraine, and are trying to pursue each their own agenda - at the expense of Ukrainian people, ultimately.

Though I must say I've not been following that line of news much lately, seeing as there's a political clusterfuck happening closer to home and am mostly keeping an eye on that, so I might be falling behind here...

toms:
This thread needs an adult.

I like how there are 2 conversations going on in this thread.

The first is a mud-slinging heavy handed political argument about Russian/American interests in Ukraine

The second is an amicable exploration of international trampoline manufacturers.

And yet, both are somehow equally relevant to the original topic.

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