Long-distance relationships are hard, especially around this time of year. A new Xbox Community Game called Remote Masseuse might relieve some of the pain of being apart, though.
Developed by Xbox Community user Entranger, Remote Masseuse is essentially what its name says it is. Two people get together on Xbox Live via the application, and then they take turns proceeding to "massage" the other by remotely controlling the vibration function of their partner's Xbox controller. You can control speed and intensity of the vibrations while your partner moves it along their body. There are even different types of vibrations you can set that "allow you to give the massage you want to give or receive."
While Remote Masseuse was rated "Sex=0/3, Mature Content=0/3" according to its product description, I'm going to have to say that for what it implies, it earns a 3/3 on both counts. The whole aesthetic sort of screams "classy-but-not-too-classy massage parlor backroom." It also "supports voice chat so you can request the perfect massage," but voice chat can be used for other stuff too, and I'm pretty sure they didn't really have to build that functionality in if they didn't think people were going to use it to coo romantic whisperings (and otherwise) over XBL. Finally, Remote Masseuse is "great for long distance relationships," sure, but it also has a Solo Mode that "lets you use your own controller to relax."
Okay, that just sounds naughty. There's no way I'm reading too much into this. No way.
Remote Masseuse is downloadable for 200 Microsoft Points.
thats...creepy.That is really all I can say about this and the only reason I see for someone buying it is that it would for some reason not be like touching yourself with a constantly vibrating controller,just because there is someone controlling the vibration.
BigDragun987: Welp that's the line right there. There's no excuse for this. None what-so-ever
Sex makes the world go 'round. Sadly.
No, no it doesn't. Angular momentum conservation makes the world go round.
WRONG AGAIN. Fat-bottomed girls make the world go 'round. /thread /argument
Well... that song was written by an astrophysicist who knows a lot more about this sort of thing than I do... I therefore must accept that Fat-Bottomed girls do make the world go round; but it is the conservation of angular momentum that keeps it spinning.
BigDragun987: Welp that's the line right there. There's no excuse for this. None what-so-ever
Sex makes the world go 'round. Sadly.
No, no it doesn't. Angular momentum conservation makes the world go round.
WRONG AGAIN. Fat-bottomed girls make the world go 'round. /thread /argument
Well... that song was written by an astrophysicist who knows a lot more about this sort of thing than I do... I therefore must accept that Fat-Bottomed girls do make the world go round; but it is the conservation of angular momentum that keeps it spinning.
I have no clue what you're saying so I'm just going to translate it into "You are right, oh godly one." Because that's what I do.
I have no clue what you're saying so I'm just going to translate it into "You are right, oh godly one." Because that's what I do.
Brian May (who wrote the song) has a degree in astrophysics. Your 'Godliness' membership is hereby revoked since I had to explain this to you.
I was being intentionally thick. :P How can you revoke membership if I'm the only one there is? It's not like it's a club...
If I did definitely subscribe to a belief system, it would probably be a polytheistic belief system; things are more... fun that way. But of course, one of the main aspects of a 'God' is to be omniscient, which you just failed at.
I have no clue what you're saying so I'm just going to translate it into "You are right, oh godly one." Because that's what I do.
Brian May (who wrote the song) has a degree in astrophysics. Your 'Godliness' membership is hereby revoked since I had to explain this to you.
I was being intentionally thick. :P How can you revoke membership if I'm the only one there is? It's not like it's a club...
If I did definitely subscribe to a belief system, it would probably be a polytheistic belief system; things are more... fun that way. But of course, one of the main aspects of a 'God' is to be omniscient, which you just failed at.
I would get into a theological debate, but I haven't eaten all day and it's currently 7 PM, so I'm sort of starved. And are you sure? Because I did say I was joking. *dundundun* It's okay though. I know where you sleep.
I would get into a theological debate, but I haven't eaten all day and it's currently 7 PM, so I'm sort of starved. And are you sure? Because I did say I was joking. *dundundun* It's okay though. I know where you sleep.
I know now that you were joking; but once the membership has been torn up it can't be repaired. You will now never be able to attain the rank of 'God'. I'm sorry to have to break the bad news, but this just goes to show that you shouldn't feign ignorance just to make a joke.
You'll be glad to know that I know where I sleep too, and that that is where I'm headed now. So go get your food. I sure hope no-one's slipped anything in it. That would be a shame now, wouldn't it?
I would get into a theological debate, but I haven't eaten all day and it's currently 7 PM, so I'm sort of starved. And are you sure? Because I did say I was joking. *dundundun* It's okay though. I know where you sleep.
I know now that you were joking; but once the membership has been torn up it can't be repaired. You will now never be able to attain the rank of 'God'. I'm sorry to have to break the bad news, but this just goes to show that you shouldn't feign ignorance just to make a joke.
You'll be glad to know that I know where I sleep too, and that that is where I'm headed now. So go get your food. I sure hope no-one's slipped anything in it. That would be a shame now, wouldn't it?
I do believe that would be a SHAME of sorts. If you are implying something I would hate to have to take measures. I can and will feign ignorance to make a joke! Humor above all! Down with srs!
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Xbox App Lets You "Massage" Your Partner Remotely
Long-distance relationships are hard, especially around this time of year. A new Xbox Community Game called Remote Masseuse might relieve some of the pain of being apart, though.
Developed by Xbox Community user Entranger, Remote Masseuse is essentially what its name says it is. Two people get together on Xbox Live via the application, and then they take turns proceeding to "massage" the other by remotely controlling the vibration function of their partner's Xbox controller. You can control speed and intensity of the vibrations while your partner moves it along their body. There are even different types of vibrations you can set that "allow you to give the massage you want to give or receive."
While Remote Masseuse was rated "Sex=0/3, Mature Content=0/3" according to its product description, I'm going to have to say that for what it implies, it earns a 3/3 on both counts. The whole aesthetic sort of screams "classy-but-not-too-classy massage parlor backroom." It also "supports voice chat so you can request the perfect massage," but voice chat can be used for other stuff too, and I'm pretty sure they didn't really have to build that functionality in if they didn't think people were going to use it to coo romantic whisperings (and otherwise) over XBL. Finally, Remote Masseuse is "great for long distance relationships," sure, but it also has a Solo Mode that "lets you use your own controller to relax."
Okay, that just sounds naughty. There's no way I'm reading too much into this. No way.
Remote Masseuse is downloadable for 200 Microsoft Points.
[Source: Kotaku]
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