Kanye West's Sex Game That Never Was

Kanye West's Sex Game That Never Was

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Love him or hate him, you can't say Kanye West at least hasn't tried everything. He even tried to make a sex game when he was in 7th grade. It starred a giant penis.

Renaissance men these days are few and far between, and even fewer of them dabble in erotic game design. Poetry, sure. Photography? Who doesn't switch to the sepia filter every now and then and try to make pictures of their cat look like Annie Leibovitz? Rapper Kanye West, who moonlights as a fashion designer and art world connoisseur, however, was way ahead of the game. In 7th grade, he tried to design his own sex game. "My game was very sexual," he told Details. "The main character was, like, a giant penis. It was like Mario Brothers, but the ghosts were, like, vaginas."

The project, thankfully, was too much for the then not-even-teenage West. "Mind you, I'm 12 years old, and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming," West said. "You'd have to draw in and program every little step - it literally took me all night to do a step, 'cause the penis, y'know, had little feet and eyes." As GameCulture points out, it does sound an awful lot like all the Sporn from last year.

Besides that, what was West even using to make this game? This would have been 1989, by the way, so I can't imagine there were too many game making tools easily accessible to 12-year-olds. If we're taking his word for it, I guess we can add another title to West's resume: progammer and designer, Penis Brothers vs. The Ghost Vaginas.

Actually, it all sounds a lot like the case of Tracy Jordan from NBC sitcom 30 Rock, another off-kilter celebirty who's regularly either brilliant or insane (albeit fictional) and also tried his hand at erotic game design. His game was called Goregasm: The Legend of Dong-Slayer. Unlike West's game, Goregasm went on to sell 61 million units. Dreams do, in fact, come true.

[Via Kotaku]

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Keane NG, just letting ya know there is a typo in the article.

"Besides that, what was Wast even using to make this game?"

Also this is a very strange article that I really do not know what to call this. I know "porn" games existed on the atari and nes but really just the penis and vagina?

Tenmar:
Keane NG, just letting ya know there is a typo in the article.

"Besides that, what was Wast even using to make this game?"

Also this is a very strange article that I really do not know what to call this. I know "porn" games existed on the atari and nes but really just the penis and vagina?

Ooooh, thanks for pointing that out. Fixed now, appreciate the heads up.

And if it seems strange to you, just remember that he was 12 years old. Really, were you thinking of things that were that much weirder when you were that age? Of course you were!

Keane Ng:

Tenmar:
Keane NG, just letting ya know there is a typo in the article.

"Besides that, what was Wast even using to make this game?"

Also this is a very strange article that I really do not know what to call this. I know "porn" games existed on the atari and nes but really just the penis and vagina?

And if it seems strange to you, just remember that he was 12 years old. Really, were you thinking of things that were that much weirder when you were that age? Of course you were!

No, I wasn't. I was a bit older mentally than the rest of people at my age.

But it's hardly a news - he didn't actually create anything, did he?

Intense. Is there anything he won't do?

Keane Ng:

Tenmar:
Keane NG, just letting ya know there is a typo in the article.

"Besides that, what was Wast even using to make this game?"

Also this is a very strange article that I really do not know what to call this. I know "porn" games existed on the atari and nes but really just the penis and vagina?

Ooooh, thanks for pointing that out. Fixed now, appreciate the heads up.

And if it seems strange to you, just remember that he was 12 years old. Really, were you thinking of things that were that much weirder when you were that age? Of course you were!

Oh at that age I was pirating H-games over our 56k modem...man they certainly do not make games like True Love anymore.

Keane Ng:
off-kilter celebirty who's regularly alternately brilliant or insane

Sorry, another Typo. Always thought the guy had talent :)

Wow, that's amazing Kanye. Way to go!

Am I the only one curious as to how this came up in an interview in the first place?

Keane Ng:
In 7th grade, he tried to design his own sex game. "My game was very sexual," he told Details. "The main character was, like, a giant penis...

Should we add "fortune teller" to his resume? Because he is now the main character of that game as well.

'89...So probably a Speccy then. Damn, first time I ever heard of a mazegame on the Spectrum based on sex.
Unless of course, he took Repton/Boulderdash Construction set and drew a wang on it (like one of my friends did).

Oh shut up Kanye you're not smart.

Kanye is a moron.

Best. Game. Ever.

What an egotistical mofo Kanye West is, what a dumb idea for a game, must be a slow news day. By the way, has he tried not being so full of himself? If not then mr Keane Ng, I can indeed say that he has not tried everything.

The main charcater was like a giant penis??? Yeesh

Keane Ng:

Besides that, what was West even using to make this game? This would have been 1989, by the way, so I can't imagine there were too many game making tools easily accessible to 12-year-olds.

You're not much over 20 are you? Most computers came with programming tools back then.

dthree:

Keane Ng:

Besides that, what was West even using to make this game? This would have been 1989, by the way, so I can't imagine there were too many game making tools easily accessible to 12-year-olds.

You're not much over 20 are you? Most computers came with programming tools back then.

I'm still smacking myself in the head for not learning more about programming past DOS when our family got a Tandy computer.

Maybe he can get R. Kelly to play test the beta?

Can we remove Kanye from the gene pool yet?

Ilu Kanye. Only you can by yourself cause people to say mean things over little shit you do. <3

dthree:

Keane Ng:

Besides that, what was West even using to make this game? This would have been 1989, by the way, so I can't imagine there were too many game making tools easily accessible to 12-year-olds.

You're not much over 20 are you? Most computers came with programming tools back then.

Ha, you got me, I'm 22.

Still, point stands - even if computers came with programming tools, it's not like they were there for kids to make games with unless they actually sought them out, not to mention that they could program with.

Quite amusing.

"cause the penis, y'know, had little feet and eyes."

Thank you Mr. West. I actually did not know the penis had little feet and eyes. Such geniouses these rapists are...

<,<

Not work safe.

Keane Ng:

dthree:

Keane Ng:

Besides that, what was West even using to make this game? This would have been 1989, by the way, so I can't imagine there were too many game making tools easily accessible to 12-year-olds.

You're not much over 20 are you? Most computers came with programming tools back then.

Ha, you got me, I'm 22.

Still, point stands - even if computers came with programming tools, it's not like they were there for kids to make games with unless they actually sought them out, not to mention that they could program with.

Spoken like a true ignoramus, the Commodore 64 had game developer kits for kids... dur!

No your point does NOT stand. Do some fucking research!

Ok, I'll chill out a bit. You obviously don't realize the milieu back then. The C64 virtually thrust kids into programming back then... it wasn't like today's console generation. You had to enter commands into the thing to even get it to load a game. And yes kids game kits were available, all kids of crazy stuff was available. Even kids books on making games for the C64.

joystickjunki3:
Intense. Is there anything he won't do?

Make good music.

Thanks jembog. Me and my friends actually were making games on Tandy CCs, C64s, and Apple IIs. And we were hardly the only ones because we read monthly magazines for kids about programming games.

gmer412:

joystickjunki3:
Intense. Is there anything he won't do?

Make good music.

I think that's more of an issue w/ his ability to make good music. It's not that he won't, it's that he can't.

dthree:
Thanks jembog. Me and my friends actually were making games on Tandy CCs, C64s, and Apple IIs. And we were hardly the only ones because we read monthly magazines for kids about programming games.

Right, I forgot about the mags. These dudes actually think that their "generation" invented computing and videogames for some reason. Back then poots were actually easier in those days to get a handle on. It not like you needed a degree.

joystickjunki3:
Intense. Is there anything he won't do?

Stop talking about himself?

righthanded:

joystickjunki3:
Intense. Is there anything he won't do?

Stop talking about himself?

Touche.

Keane Ng:

dthree:

Keane Ng:

Besides that, what was West even using to make this game? This would have been 1989, by the way, so I can't imagine there were too many game making tools easily accessible to 12-year-olds.

You're not much over 20 are you? Most computers came with programming tools back then.

Ha, you got me, I'm 22.

Still, point stands - even if computers came with programming tools, it's not like they were there for kids to make games with unless they actually sought them out, not to mention that they could program with.

I programmed an adventure game at 14(1984) and a Pengo clone at 16...Given Crash/Your Spectrum had a few games, I can see how you could create an 8x8 bit sprite in Magenta that looks sort of like a tallywacker.

But still, no programming skill required.

Keane Ng:
The project, thankfully, was too much for the then not-even-teenage West. "Mind you, I'm 12 years old, and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming,"

I think this is the point we are disputing now. It WAS stuff other 12-year olds were programming.

 

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