Man Holds Woman Hostage With Light Gun

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Man Holds Woman Hostage With Light Gun

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A man in Brazil successfully held a 60-year-old woman hostage for ten hours, threatening her with a deadly Sega Light Phaser.

Looking to collect on a debt, a man in Brazil's Federal District broke into the house of a 60-year-old woman, brandishing the most intimidating-looking weapon he could think of: The Light Phaser, the gun that accompanied Sega's Master System console. Considering that Brazil was one of Sega's biggest markets for the Genesis' predecessor, it's no small surprise that the man was able to acquire one.

Of course, given that Brazil was one of Sega's biggest markets for the Genesis' predecessor, it is surprising that none of the policemen involved in the 10-hour standoff recognized the damn thing: "Hey Paulo, didn't we have one of things when we were kids? How's he threatening her with it? It's not even plugged into the console!"

Perhaps even more surprising is the fact that once the man surrendered to police and released his hostage unharmed, he revealed he also had a pair of genuinely deadly knives. Why he didn't use them before is anyone's guess, though I guess a sharp blade isn't anywhere nearly as intimidating as black plastic.

(Globo, via Kotaku)

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I'm trying really hard not to laugh. What an asshole, what a hilarious, hilarious asshole.

Lvl 64 Klutz:
I'm trying really hard not to laugh. What an asshole, what a hilarious, hilarious asshole.

I'm completely failing, myself. This is funny in the most screwed up way.

Hence why the seemingly retarded regs exist in the US that gun-shaped things have to have identifiers on them. Of course, speaking as someone who spraypainted a water pistol black...

CantFaketheFunk:
"Hey Paulo, didn't we have one of things when we were kids? How's he threatening her with it? It's not even plugged into the console!"

When plugged into the console, it is the deadliest device known to Man.

someone's been playing too much time crisis...

If it were plugged in he could've threatened her with the warning that her eyesight could've possibly been damaged if he were aiming just right!

That's nothing I once robbed a bank with one of these:
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And I got a small African nation to surrender to me when I pulled this sucker:

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It's funny that he thought it was a good idea, but what's even funnier is that it worked! What were the police doing, playing Sonic?

OOh, you think the US regs are bad?!

GyroCaptain:
Hence why the seemingly retarded regs exist in the US that gun-shaped things have to have identifiers on them. Of course, speaking as someone who spraypainted a water pistol black...

Come over to the UK! You need to be over 18 to get an airsoft gun at all, and a registered member of UKARA to get one that isn't 50% some random colour.

Of course, we all know that criminals will obey these laws over toy guns to the letter. -.-

*Facepalm* Lord what a moron that guy is.

Maybe they were waiting for the announcer to shout "ACTION!"

I'm wondering if due to the current economic turmoil if he couldn't afford a real gun?

I bet a couple kids near there walked by and saw what was happening and tried telling the police that wasn't a real gun but thought it would be funny as hell to see the whole thing play out.

Lvl 64 Klutz:
I'm trying really hard not to laugh. What an asshole, what a hilarious, hilarious asshole.

I'm just rying not to fall over. Odd quite odd.

dalek sec:
*Facepalm* Lord what a moron that guy is.

Ten

Hours

The guy's a genius!

SHOOT OUTSIDE THE SCREEN TO RELOAD!!!

Stage 2: Escape from custody pronto with a Logitech Driving Force EX Steering Wheel

I must be such a stick in the mud. I just can't see the funny here. The guy's got some stones, sure, and that's amusing, but in the intensity of an attack and a hostage situation that's the kind of thing that can be easily overlooked. And even if someone says, yo, I think that's a Sega light gun, you can't act on that information unless you're 100 percent sure that's what it is.

Malygris:
I must be such a stick in the mud. I just can't see the funny here. The guy's got some stones, sure, and that's amusing, but in the intensity of an attack and a hostage situation that's the kind of thing that can be easily overlooked. And even if someone says, yo, I think that's a Sega light gun, you can't act on that information unless you're 100 percent sure that's what it is.

"Psst. Commander."
"What is it Jose?"
"I think that's a toy gun?"
"How can you tell?"
"I can see the power lead sticking out the bottom. Pepe, our sniper, says he can see it's still plugged in."
"GET HIM!"

I know it is the wrong console but let me add some humor. When he gave up I could of sworn to hear the chuckling of a certain dog that likes to fetch ducks.

Humor, it allows us to make hard situations a bit easier.

What a genius! asshole!

Hmm. I think a Rorschach-esque lighter and a hairspray flamethrower would work better.

*smrpf* Sorry, I'm trying not to burst into laughter.

Malygris:
I must be such a stick in the mud. I just can't see the funny here. The guy's got some stones, sure, and that's amusing, but in the intensity of an attack and a hostage situation that's the kind of thing that can be easily overlooked. And even if someone says, yo, I think that's a Sega light gun, you can't act on that information unless you're 100 percent sure that's what it is.

ummm, i think the pictures above were tak'n during the situation, and if it was ten hours i think they had time to look at said pictures and realize...hey! wait a minute that thing doesnt look right..

you have to lovve people, without them there would be no funny.

"Sir he's shooting offscreen to reload!"
"TAKE HIM OUT."

"Back off, coppers, or I'll force Grandma to play Missile Defense 3D -- WITHOUT THE GLASSES!"

"He's a monster! Stand down, men!"

I have to admit to being a little surprised at this level of caution in Brazil, where statistically speaking there's about a 30 percent chance that the guy with the light gun is a cop.

What I've always wondered about orange tip regulations is couldn't you just paint the tip of a real gun orange and wave it around in public and people would think it was just a toy?

dalek sec:
*Facepalm* Lord what a moron that guy is.

What do you mean? He's a genius. He managed to hold someone hostage for ten hours with that thing!

teknoarcanist:
"Sir he's shooting offscreen to reload!"
"TAKE HIM OUT."

Damnit, now I can't stop laughing.

I'm gonna go see what havoc I can cause with the Nintendo power glove, and R.O.B the robot.

This was really funny. I can't believe that this went on for 10 hours before they figured it out.

I wonder what it would've been like if he had his limited edition Lancer.....

Hmmm.... we can only dream.

Technically they never said it was figured out until AFTER he was apprehended. And he had the knives so he could run away. Your always faster with a knife.

rossatdi:
SHOOT OUTSIDE THE SCREEN TO RELOAD!!!

Shoot outside the WORLD to reload.

Did he make sure to save before he surrendered?

Was he making sure to keep the recommended 5-8 feet away from the hostage?

I don't know if someone here hasn't watched Pure Pwnage, but I think we should all watch this again to remind us that the power of the game gun comes from the mind, not the gun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgLDz5BQ8BM
And 9:51 of Pure Pwnage episode 11.

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