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Star Trek: The Cologne

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1)   9 Mar 2009 23:27

Star Trek: The Cologne

image

Looking to score a hot date for the Star Trek premiere? Here's your ticket: a brand new line of Star Trek fragrances designed to make you as irresistible as Captain Kirk himself.

The words "Star Trek fan" and "smell" typically conjure thoughts of a scent that's a mixture of body odor, Cheetos and nylon, but this new line of Star Trek-themed colognes and perfumes is aiming to change that. Based on the original show and not the newfangled movie, the fragrances come in three varieties: Tiberius, Red Shirt and Ponn Farr.

The Tiberius cologne is named after the Mirror Universe version of Captain Kirk and is highlighted by "notes of freshness and sensuality" according to Genki Wear, the company producing the line. Its scent is composed of citron zest, black pepper and cedar underscored by warm vanilla, white musk and sandalwood. "Tiberius cologne for men is difficult to define and impossible to refuse," says Genki.

Next up we have Red Shirt, a cologne in memory of those anonymous members of the Enterprise who never really got due credit for making the ultimate sacrifice in service of Starfleet. The scent displays a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" and has hints of lavender, leather and gray musk.

Finally, for all the ladies there's Ponn Farr, a perfume designed to "drive him wild." Ponn Farr gets its name from a Vulcan mating ritual. If you're turned on just hearing that, I think this is the fragrance line for you. I'll stick to spraying myself head to toe with Axe and hoping for the best.

[Source: TrekMovie]

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2)   9 Mar 2009 23:58

people try to make money of fanboys every way they can...

3)   10 Mar 2009 00:00

probably smells like dead red shirts, there must be like a ratio of 5 of them per minute.

4)   10 Mar 2009 00:02

pyromcr:
people try to make money of fanboys every way they can...

And fanboys fall for it... What does this tell you?

5)   10 Mar 2009 00:12

Doesn't a fragrance called "Red Shirt" evoke... death?

6)   10 Mar 2009 00:17

Greatest thing EVER! And yes, I know I am a fanboy (by your definition). I have a red "Expendable" shirt that I wear to work, I have 3 bat'leths (one in the window of my office, one in my car, and one at home), a Klingon flag in my office, both ST technical manuals, etc. What do you expect?

:-D

7)   10 Mar 2009 00:22

This is SO awesome. You know, in an utterly laughable and horrible way. I can just imagine some guy complementing me on my perfume, and me telling him it's Eau d'Trek. Oh, yeah...that'll win him over.

I still totally want some.

8)   10 Mar 2009 00:23

My wife was reading this over my shoulder and chirped with glee at Ponn Farr, she went on for a few minutes about how she wanted this and thought that it might spice things up a bit in the old bedroom. I sat staring at her for a few minutes, knowing that she isn't a Trek fan and wondering how she thought it would spice things up.
I asked her why and she said, "Come on its called PORN FAIR for Christ sake!!"
Gotta love that woman.

9)   10 Mar 2009 00:27

I approve of this. Yes. I must definitely have some.

10)   10 Mar 2009 00:29

elbryan108:
My wife was reading this over my shoulder and chirped with glee at Ponn Farr, she went on for a few minutes about how she wanted this and thought that it might spice things up a bit in the old bedroom. I sat staring at her for a few minutes, knowing that she isn't a Trek fan and wondering how she thought it would spice things up.
I asked her why and she said, "Come on its called PORN FAIR for Christ sake!!"
Gotta love that woman.

I'm...jealous?

11)   10 Mar 2009 00:30

Wow, this is a new low.

12)   10 Mar 2009 00:31

Holy Crap, I want.

All they have to do now is make some for women and Trek nerds can memorize the smell of all of them so they can identify the trekie girls without having to ask.

13)   10 Mar 2009 00:34

Flap Jack452:
Wow, this is a new low.

If by "new low" you mean, "a new brand of awesome, then yes.

I will not ever apologize for my nerdery. In fact I think I will take some time to revel in it.

14)   10 Mar 2009 00:47

Caliostro:

pyromcr:
people try to make money of fanboys every way they can...

And fanboys fall for it... What does this tell you?

they are idiots

15)   10 Mar 2009 00:53

They should use this image as part of their advertising campaign.

WARNING! Suggestive image possibly not work safe.

16)   10 Mar 2009 00:56

cuddly_tomato:
They should use this image as part of their advertising campaign.

You are a bad bad man ;)

17)   10 Mar 2009 01:14

I think the term here is. DO WANT!

18)   10 Mar 2009 01:48

So why is it named after Evil Kirk?(forgive me if it's obvious, I'm no Star Trek expert)

19)   10 Mar 2009 02:49

Wouldukindly:
So why is it named after Evil Kirk?(forgive me if it's obvious, I'm no Star Trek expert)

Cause Mirror Kirk is sexxxier.

20)   10 Mar 2009 02:51

I must wonder who this cologne would attract. Certainly it won't be attracting supermodels.

21)   10 Mar 2009 02:55

Keane Ng:

Wouldukindly:
So why is it named after Evil Kirk?(forgive me if it's obvious, I'm no Star Trek expert)

Cause Mirror Kirk is sexxxier.

Not quite! Remember, evil Kirk lost his girlfriend to good Kirk. Good Kirk's seductive (*cough* diplomacy) skills are way better!

22)   10 Mar 2009 03:04

I can see it now...Calvin Kleins Red Shirt, for when you want to get a little action, but not have any real long term impact in her life

23)   10 Mar 2009 03:16

Keane Ng:
Red Snhirt [snip] The scent displays a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last"

So it smells like alcohol, shame, and tears?
Or, being "Red Shirt" does it smell like a cadaver?

24)   10 Mar 2009 05:49

cuddly_tomato:
They should use this image as part of their advertising campaign.

WARNING! Suggestive image possibly not work safe.

That was photoshopped, right?

25)   10 Mar 2009 06:25

image

26)   10 Mar 2009 06:29

Just make sure it doesn't boldy go where no man has gone before, because that'll sting.

"Tiberius cologne for men is difficult to define and impossible to refuse," says Genki.

Wait, is this cologne or spanish fly?

27)   10 Mar 2009 06:43

Actually, it sounds oddly like they put alot of work into this. Cute.

28)   10 Mar 2009 07:41

well..
That's ...
Wait what?!?

29)   10 Mar 2009 11:54

Pseudonym2:

cuddly_tomato:
They should use this image as part of their advertising campaign.

WARNING! Suggestive image possibly not work safe.

That was photoshopped, right?

Nope.

30)   10 Mar 2009 12:40

That's a nice cologne that you're wearing, what is it?

It's ... umm... Star Trek cologne.

31)   10 Mar 2009 13:10

I must have these colognes!

The only potential trouble I see is that I know damn well I'd never be able to put them on - particularly Ponn Farr - without loudly singing the Star Trek Fight Song.

duh duh DUH DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHDUH DUH DUH

32)   10 Mar 2009 15:33

Hehehe, oh man I can't stop laughing at the old fight scenes, so amazing.

33)   11 Mar 2009 00:16

I must have this fragrance.

 
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