Everyone who watches Zero Punctuation has to have a favorite line of Yahtzee's. Let's hear them.

Mine:
"All you really need to know is there is a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning, I wish I could make something like that up, it shoots shurikens and lightning it could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire."

-Yahtzee from Painkiller Review-

"Go Team Retard!"

"I would dread to see what the harder difficulties are like. They probably give you a water pistol and replace all the enemies with fire breathing golden lions."

We had something like this before, but eh.

From his Braid Review:
"And you know who I blame for all this? YOU! Yes you! The public! Especially you Adrian! (That probably isn't your name but it was nice to mess with all the Adrians in the world.)"

I'm sorry but...

"Bull, Fucking, SHIT! We didn't lost contact, I was looking at them! They were etc..."

That sequence had me on the floor laughing.

"Yahtzee, you...ordinary person"

Pants on head retarded
/thread

"If you can imagine The Lost Vikings knocking up Little Big Planet then the internet has clearly desensitized you to retarded sexualization." I was not expecting it to end the way it did.

"If you're new to this series, then let me give you my take on JRPGs. AIEYYEEEOIOUARAAAIYAEAUOU!!! And all of them are about androgynous teenagers killing Satan."

"Now, obviously there have been many games with zombies in, but in most cases they're just standard challenge obstacles to litter the corridors, interchangeable with terrorists, or aliens, or mean-spirited traffic barriers. The trick is to recreate the tension and emotion of the zombie apocalypse, where you and the last three sane people on Earth huddle in a basement together somewhere, while the entire population of the landmass stands outside, meaningfully rubbing their bellies and waving ice cream scoops."

- Left 4 Dead review

Otaru Ikari:
We had something like this before, but eh.

From his Braid Review:
"And you know who I blame for all this? YOU! Yes you! The public! Especially you Adrian! (That probably isn't your name but it was nice to mess with all the Adrians in the world.)"

My name is Adrian. I was like WTF???

blackshark121:
"Bull, Fucking, SHIT! We didn't lost contact, I was looking at them! They were etc..."

That sequence had me on the floor laughing.

This, and

"Your character is not so much controlled as aimed. Like a retarded rhino on rocket skates."

and

"To me the Silent Hill series is over. And if Silent Hill V convinces me otherwise then I will remove three of my own vertebrae, curl my spine back and eat my own ass."

" I'm not a fanbo- Yes you are!

If you put your dick in a phail of chocolate pudding, even as you continue to tell people it still perfectly good pudding NOBODY IS GOING TO EAT IT BECAUSE YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN IT!!!!!

The hardest achievement is turning off the console, leaving the house, meeting a nice girl, taking a sailing boat around the world, having three beautiful blonde children, and finally dying content with the knowledge that you didn't spend twelve years waiting for an utterly pedestrian sequal to a game that everyone stopped caring about around 1997 to be released by developers that make John Romero look on the ball!

...Which is a huge challenge because if just one of thoe kids turns out brunette than you have to start all over again.

The most epic 16 seconds of this series.

"If you complain about too many needless attachements then you're just being a tosser. It's like complaining about a perfectly good hot dog just because the vendor is the Boston Strangler. You can still enjoy the hot dog just try not to make eye contact."
- Zero Punctuation episode Zack and Wiki

I forget but it was something about batman being compared to a flasher

'What the fuck happened to Clive Winston? In his place we have this giggly Jpop creature and you can't play classic rock with that... thing, it's like cockslapping the Mona Lisa'. From the Guitar Hero 3 review.

'That is what we call a Dick Move!' (Can't remember which review that's from).

The entirety of his Duke Nukem review. Pure brilliance, in my opinion.

Also, the last bits to his first Lara Croft review and the Halo Wars review both had me in hysterics the first time I watched them.

Hmm...tie between:

ZP: Tomb Raider Anniversary:
Here's one: A genetically-engineered Taiwanese chef teams up with a newt in a fez to rescue his large-bosomed girlfriend from mummies. There, you see? It's easy. A breast cancer specialist with large bosoms journeys through time to pay for a breast enlargement. A race of bosom people set out on an armada of bosoms to find a new bosom homeworld. Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING... GREAT... TITS.

and

H.A.W.X.:
They had a good thing going with the Russians for a while before East Berlin paid the price for shoddy building contractors; and in all their other wars, it's been difficult to root for America when the villains of the story live in a ditch and are armed with jagged rocks. At some point in recent years, they looked up from their international heroism to realize they've alienated the entire world; and contemporary war stories now all seem to deftly avoid clearly associating the villains with a foreign power. It's quite entertaining to watch, really, like how they used to put bears on hot plates to make them dance.

and, well

H.A.W.X.:

Watch the whole review of Mercenaries 2.

Just a sample would be, "...Mercenaries 2. Or what I would like to call, Airstrikes 2: Hooray for Airstrikes."

Spaceman_Spiff:
"Go Team Retard!"

YES! and any reference to the infamous Triple Cunted Hooker.

At the moment it's:

"The weird thing about Chinatown Wars so far is that all its faults are balance by its other fault. Stupid enemies compensate for shitty controls, the easiness of trading makes up for its banality. All the foulness mixes together to make something halfway decent in the middle. It's almost prodigious in it's retarded genius."

The cymbals look like two inbred twins, the kind whose names you ahve to call three times before they know you're talking to them.

Bull Fucking Shit. All possible threats were dead...etc.

Boingo, boingo, whoopsy, knickers.

"It just goes to show you, never stick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding, and you spend all afternoon explaining that, but no ones going to eat it because you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"

"whinged myself inside out"

"lying prone only drops your eye level another inch or so. So your charachter is either extemely fat or uncomfertably well endowed. Probably the first one judging by how often you have to stop for a breather and a sausage roll while running cross country."

Both from ESS TEE AY ELL KAY EE AAR Clear Sky.

And lots of lines from "Mailbag Showdown"

From Condemed 2 Bloodshot:

What made the last level of condemed 1 so great was that it was in a normal house just like yours down to every last detail like the serial killer living under your bed whos standing behind you right now but don't look because that would really piss him off

I will have to say the thing I remember the most is the "Garret GobbleCoque" thing.

Deja vu lies thickly on the ground like a big fat sleeping bear.

Let me hold yor head under the putrescent waters of knowlage.

Pants on head retarded or Mumorpuger.