what is the funniest/stupidest thing you've done in D&D?

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Llamagina:
While trying to keep a ship afloat during a tropical storm my clumsy half-orc barbarian was trying to get to the steering wheel slipped on the deck and began to slip off deck. As a last saving move I asked my ranger partner to tie a rope to an arrow and shoot me before I fall off deck. His dice were hot and he made every check and when it came time to roll to hit me he critted. Not only did this ranger crit me, he double 20'ed me. The arrow went straight into my character's heart and body continued to slip around the deck with a 50 ft long tripwire attached to me. My character tripped up all the crew moving around the deck and the new obstacle eventually led to the ship capsizing. The raiding party survived and my character became "that goddamn barbarian".

Yes, I've become the "idiot elven sorcerer".

CulixCupric:

WaReloaded:
There was a massive pile of Bard corpses and the party had to hide in them whilst some excessively powerful enemies wandered past, need I say more? The Bards are always the first to go...

did you kill the bards? how did they die? was it funny? explain the story, please.

The Bards were already dead, I assume that they were killed in the raid on the town by the giant, flame spirits that our party was hiding from. Also, the DM inserted the pile of Bard corpses into the game as a reference to the film Dorkness Rising, which is dedicated to D&D and table-top games in general. If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it.

WaReloaded:

CulixCupric:

WaReloaded:
There was a massive pile of Bard corpses and the party had to hide in them whilst some excessively powerful enemies wandered past, need I say more? The Bards are always the first to go...

did you kill the bards? how did they die? was it funny? explain the story, please.

The Bards were already dead, I assume that they were killed in the raid on the town by the giant, flame spirits that our party was hiding from. Also, the DM inserted the pile of Bard corpses into the game as a reference to the film Dorkness Rising, which is dedicated to D&D and table-top games in general. If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it.

haven't seen it, but may I ask WHY the bards are always the first to go?

My party was fighting a Gibbering Mouther, 4th Edition mind you. The set up could not have worked any more hilariously.

Our Elodrin Wizard/Cleric used Prestidigitation to make earmuffs to deafen herself to the Mouther's minor ongoing madness screams, but because of that couldn't hear anyone screaming for healing services.

Meanwhile, the Goliath Barbarian and Dwarf Fighter are doing their best to put dents into the Mouther, but the aforementioned madness screams keeps stunning them.

Then, there's my character, the Human Warlock who is a bizarre mix of Jack Sparrow, Doctor House, and a bit of the Old Spice Guy, taking large hits of... something out of his pipe and is just tripping on the battle going on.

We're getting beat up, the Elodrin is going, "what? What's everyone saying?" Our major hitters keeps getting stunlocked and beat down, and my Warlock has been making all of his Will checks against the mouther, so the only thing effecting him is what he's smoking.

The killing blow came from my Warlock, an Eyebite. A psychic attack against a Gibbering Mouther not only hit, but killed it.

After the fight was over, everyone said, "how did you know you'd overwhelm its will?" to which I so cheekily replied, "O_O, that thing was actually real?"

Everyone was on the floor laughing for five minutes.

I was a Fighter/Rouge with a penchant for pyrotechnics, this had served us greatly until now, I had grappled a Werewolf and stabbed a Lich with a firework, which caused him to go careening through the air into his zombie horde.

But one time I got a little excited and let of a bomb in a room full of gas. I killed the enemies within(Along with our Bard) but burned all the loot in the process. Thankfully we had a resurrection rod, but the Bard was not happy that I exploded him, which was made worse by the fact that he was the DM.

My bard tried to convince a cleric of Pelor that his god didn't exist.

...It was my second DnD session, and no one had thought to inform me that the gods in DnD are tangible. So I just sort of... Assumed my character was an atheist. Oops.

My DM was forgiving though. After laughing at me for a while, he said he'd let me retcon it a bit, so that though my character still had pissed off the cleric, it wasn't for saying something quite so stupid.

Ajna:
My bard tried to convince a cleric of Pelor that his god didn't exist.

...It was my second DnD session, and no one had thought to inform me that the gods in DnD are tangible. So I just sort of... Assumed my character was an atheist. Oops.

My DM was forgiving though. After laughing at me for a while, he said he'd let me retcon it a bit, so that though my character still had pissed off the cleric, it wasn't for saying something quite so stupid.

I've actually made made atheist characters, who believed the gods to be EPIC-EPIC-level characters, or IC: "extremely powerful mortals perpetuating their own existence for self-absorbed reasons who like toying with those below them.".

CulixCupric:

Ajna:
My bard tried to convince a cleric of Pelor that his god didn't exist.

...It was my second DnD session, and no one had thought to inform me that the gods in DnD are tangible. So I just sort of... Assumed my character was an atheist. Oops.

My DM was forgiving though. After laughing at me for a while, he said he'd let me retcon it a bit, so that though my character still had pissed off the cleric, it wasn't for saying something quite so stupid.

I've actually made made atheist characters, who believed the gods to be EPIC-EPIC-level characters, or IC: "extremely powerful mortals perpetuating their own existence for self-absorbed reasons who like toying with those below them.".

I'm pretty sure that a few of the gods actually are, according to the guidebooks, simply elevated mortals. Calling all of them elevated would be interesting, though.

But I wasn't trying to be interesting. I was just stupid.

Ajna:

CulixCupric:

Ajna:
My bard tried to convince a cleric of Pelor that his god didn't exist.

...It was my second DnD session, and no one had thought to inform me that the gods in DnD are tangible. So I just sort of... Assumed my character was an atheist. Oops.

My DM was forgiving though. After laughing at me for a while, he said he'd let me retcon it a bit, so that though my character still had pissed off the cleric, it wasn't for saying something quite so stupid.

I've actually made made atheist characters, who believed the gods to be EPIC-EPIC-level characters, or IC: "extremely powerful mortals perpetuating their own existence for self-absorbed reasons who like toying with those below them.".

I'm pretty sure that a few of the gods actually are, according to the guidebooks, simply elevated mortals. Calling all of them elevated would be interesting, though.

But I wasn't trying to be interesting. I was just stupid.

i would make a sorcerer that worships the WIZARD elminster in FR just for laughs. haven't played a forgotten realms game in forever.

it has to be a group failure for me to be honest, we were interrogating a survivor as to the whereabouts of their main base of operations when he manged to escape by jumping out the window which luckily i was standing under so managed to capture him as he fell, when my ranger friend decided to pursue him, fell on me and knocked him out of my grip and then tried to stop him by shooting him in the leg and hit his heart instead leaving us aimlessly wondering for a while with little information, he has never lived that down.

Ben Edge:
it has to be a group failure for me to be honest, we were interrogating a survivor as to the whereabouts of their main base of operations when he manged to escape by jumping out the window which luckily i was standing under so managed to capture him as he fell, when my ranger friend decided to pursue him, fell on me and knocked him out of my grip and then tried to stop him by shooting him in the leg and hit his heart instead leaving us aimlessly wondering for a while with little information, he has never lived that down.

look before you leap?

I was almost always more into GMing than simple playing, so my experiences aren't that rich.
However i remeber this case...
One player named Rickerto developed strange obsession - he began to wrap bodies of his victims into carpets. I took a bite and developed some backstory that quickly became more important than my scenario. Picture this - each morning a brand new murder scene, body, wrapped in rug, no traces, no clues, no information. Only stabbed stiff and a mystery.

There was an official investigation, citizens formed militia, some sort of DnD-ish Sherlock Holmes emerged and Ricekerto with his band of happy thieves were caught, judged and hanged. It was known as "Rick Roll" case. :)

JesterRaiin:
I was almost always more into GMing than simple playing, so my experiences aren't that rich.
However i remeber this case...
One player named Rickerto developed strange obsession - he began to wrap bodies of his victims into carpets. I took a bite and developed some backstory that quickly became more important than my scenario. Picture this - each morning a brand new murder scene, body, wrapped in rug, no traces, no clues, no information. Only stabbed stiff and a mystery.

There was official investigation, citizens formed militia, some sort of DnD-ish Sherlock Holmes emerged, and Ricekerto with his band of happy thieves were caught, judged and hanged. It was known as "Rick Roll" case. :)

i see what you did there.

CulixCupric:
i see what you did there.

Stupid as it sounds, it is 100% true. Moreover : when we finished our session i asked about this carpet thing and all i get was "i don't know". :)

JesterRaiin:

CulixCupric:
i see what you did there.

Stupid as it sounds, it is 100% true. Moreover : when we finished our session i asked about this carpet thing and all i get was "i don't know". :)

i believe you, but you're reaction to your players' situation was ingenious!

CulixCupric:

JesterRaiin:

CulixCupric:
i see what you did there.

Stupid as it sounds, it is 100% true. Moreover : when we finished our session i asked about this carpet thing and all i get was "i don't know". :)

i believe you, but you're reaction to your players' situation was ingenious!

Thanks. :)
To be honest i always designed shitty (at most) scenarios and counted on my players creativity. Usually after half hour or so we were deep into something completely different, an adventure that nobody knew where it will eventually guide us. So, one may say that i am used to twists like this. ;)
Those were days...

well we dont have many of those ridiculously hilarious moments, we had when we started playing 13 years ago.At least not based on overdone gruesomeness or such. Most funny moments we have are based on rp-dialogues between PC's and or NPC's and since i had to type and translate a lot, i choose not to.
What i can say is that Illusion can be your best friend in some times. For example to distract the angry mob that follows you from the tavern that was destroyed in a massive barfight you started, then use it to turn yourself into a city watch officer plus guards, take a fee from everyone in the mob for the noise and disturbence in the night, go back to the city watch guardhouse and tell some scribe to write down a report about the incident in the tavern, including a horde of goblins, singing ogres and the mayors son (who we hated for being a prick).

Bought the 4th edition rulebooks

Swny Nerdgasm:
Bought the 4th edition rulebooks

i feel your pain, because so did I, then read it, and saw WoW without the MMO, just WoW RPG.

i made a character named senior vorpal Kickasso (goblins reference) who was a goblin but had a magical mustache that game a +20 to bluff checks that concerned convincing people he was human. He never took more than 1 level in each race and distributed his skill points evenly among all of his skills. He was part bard and played the bagpipes, he could scribe scroll but was illiterate. He was by and large the most amusing character i have ever played.

I tried to save my party member by feeding him a heal potion except I critically failed my heal skill check and he drowned in it...

Killed a thousands of years old Red Dragon with Unseen Servant once.

We never play serious, but one night was utterly ridiculous.

We had recently been watching a lot of wrestling, because come on, wrestling is awesome. So we're just killing some random kobolds in a basement, when I get a brilliant idea. I was going to chokeslam the kobold threw a nearby coffin, and considering I had really high strength, it was more or less a done deal. I chokeslammed him, and killed him with it. And that started an amazing trend.

We spent the rest of that night killing enemies with increasingly ridiculous wrestling moves, which culminated in an elbow drop off a chandelier onto a necromancer. As we go back to collect our reward, our quest giver refused to pay us, since we were just supposed to incapacitate the kobolds. I proceeded to challenge him to a table match for the reward, and my high charisma convinced him to do it. I beat a general in a table match for 1000 gp.

Also, my friend has become renown throughout the world for being a horrible lay. He rolled a 1 on a sex roll.

white_salad:
We never play serious, but one night was utterly ridiculous.

We had recently been watching a lot of wrestling, because come on, wrestling is awesome. So we're just killing some random kobolds in a basement, when I get a brilliant idea. I was going to chokeslam the kobold threw a nearby coffin, and considering I had really high strength, it was more or less a done deal. I chokeslammed him, and killed him with it. And that started an amazing trend.

We spent the rest of that night killing enemies with increasingly ridiculous wrestling moves, which culminated in an elbow drop off a chandelier onto a necromancer. As we go back to collect our reward, our quest giver refused to pay us, since we were just supposed to incapacitate the kobolds. I proceeded to challenge him to a table match for the reward, and my high charisma convinced him to do it. I beat a general in a table match for 1000 gp.

Also, my friend has become renown throughout the world for being a horrible lay. He rolled a 1 on a sex roll.

wow, I'm not familiar with those category of rolls. is it cha based, or dex? is it a skill? why haven't i heard of this?

tried to learn how to ride a warhorse, got bucked off and smacked my head into a tree which caused me to loose 3 of my 4 health.

I'll tell you!

Take one quarterstaff.
Enchant it with Ironwood.
Make it a spellstaff.
Store the spell: Repel Wood.

LAUNCH.

Your mileage may vary depending on the DM. Either it's a massive shrapnel bomb, or it spins rapidly on a horizontal axis and so propels itself into the air (attach it to the front of a wooden capsule for a D+D flight machine!) or it bolts away at high velocity in a random direction each round.

My party were in the middle of a huge battle, and we got information from a dying soldier on our side. When he was finished we asked if he wanted us to put him out of his misery. It was a very solemn moment, we were all role playing that night. He said yes, so my friend tried to pierce his throat with his rapier, but rolled a one and stabbed his eye out. Quickly I tried to reach down and snap his neck, but also rolled a one and punched him in the face. Panic, and hilarity ensued.

Candidus:
I'll tell you!

Take one quarterstaff.
Enchant it with Ironwood.
Make it a spellstaff.
Store the spell: Repel Wood.

LAUNCH.

Your mileage may vary depending on the DM. Either it's a massive shrapnel bomb, or it spins rapidly on a horizontal axis and so propels itself into the air (attach it to the front of a wooden capsule for a D+D flight machine!) or it bolts away at high velocity in a random direction each round.

did you let go? i would have held on for kicks.

I've only played the once, but when your Rogue is stuck in a jail-cell with no means of attack while the rest of the party is being attacked and your turn consists of "I throw the straw I sleep on at one of the guards, hoping he has severe allergies or at least gets some in his eye" followed by "I towel-whip the guards using my strung-together clothes, hoping to distract him or at least get him in the eye."

Unfortunately, I didn't roll either of the natural twenties I needed to succeed.

CulixCupric:

did you let go? i would have held on for kicks.

Well, my DM argued that the quarterstaff would repel all parts of itself equally and explode- and in any case I had declared I'd let go. I argued that impurities and unevenness between the two halves of a given quarterstaff would cause it to rotate manically on the spot, travelling around the battlefield as a whirling bludgeondozer of carnage.

After almost accepting this, he cleverly pointed out that such a whirling device would generate lift, and I lost my staff.

Candidus:

CulixCupric:

did you let go? i would have held on for kicks.

Well, my DM argued that the quarterstaff would repel all parts of itself equally and explode- and in any case I had declared I'd let go. I argued that impurities and unevenness between the two halves of a given quarterstaff would cause it to rotate manically on the spot, travelling around the battlefield as a whirling bludgeondozer of carnage.

After almost accepting this, he cleverly pointed out that such a whirling device would generate lift, and I lost my staff.

dang, you can always try again later. not with the same DM of course, but still worth a shot.

CulixCupric:
dang, you can always try again later. not with the same DM of course, but still worth a shot.

I tend to DM now, and don't get much of an opportunity to play except for when I run into and briefly join online D+D sessions. Still, I encourage physics japery most heartily, and strive always to interpret the results in the most epic plausible way.

Candidus:

CulixCupric:
dang, you can always try again later. not with the same DM of course, but still worth a shot.

I tend to DM now, and don't get much of an opportunity to play except for when I run into and briefly join online D+D sessions. Still, I encourage physics japery most heartily, and strive always to interpret the results in the most epic plausible way.

I rarely get to play, as being one of the few nocturnal people in my town.

I used the party's gold on the black market and after a few assassinations and hostile takeovers I became the godfather of Baldur's Gate

Hristo Petrov:
I used the party's gold on the black market and after a few assassinations and hostile takeovers I became the godfather of Baldur's Gate

did you happen to wear large spiked armor, and oh, happen to be the son of bhaal?

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