Katawa Shoujo fan box art

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So, for college I made box art for Katawa Shoujo and I would like some feedback on what I've made so far.
Specifically on the stuff on the back of the sleeve because I'm not sure about the text

image

EDIT: version 3 Woo!

That's some fantastic work right there. Still, Lilly could use more text, and Rin's picture is a bit too small.

The back drop requires additional information about the game and whatever copyrights or creative commons licenses are used, credits for the Development team and a brief overview.

Other than that nice work.

Breaker deGodot:
That's some fantastic work right there. Still, Lilly could use more text, and Rin's picture is a bit too small.

I was having trouble thinking of a good picture for Rin, I might change it to the one where she's stood on the hill. It's hard to sum up Lilly in a couple of words.

boag:
The back drop requires additional information about the game and whatever copyrights or creative commons licenses are used, credits for the Development team and a brief overview.

Other than that nice work.

I need to rearrange some it to fit that stuff in. By the time I got the last picture in I was almost out

what's with the gender symbols on the back of the box?

ForgottenPr0digy:
what's with the gender symbols on the back of the box?

It is the pegi rating symbol for sexual content

Maybe add a dark pattern or gradient on the back? Something subtle so that it doesn't take away from the pics or make the text illegible.

No! NO!
Not Games for Windows Live! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Also considering you don't find out about Emi's accident for a while... spoilers maybe?
but I think overall it could do with being lighter. Lose the black, put in one of the backgrounds from the game, something neutral.

Loop Stricken:
No! NO!
Not Games for Windows Live! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

It just says "Games for Windows" not "Windows Live" :) That's how PC games are labeled (at least here in the US, and likely where OP lives).

I love the cover of the game. It is so cute. For the back though, to save up space and include more information a basic summary of the game might help best instead of the character profiles. Maybe another group picture in a different area would show all the girls. Maybe a neutral color would work best as well to make the words stand out better...

The current back now looks like it would be best in the game manual inside the box.

Now if we could use this for marketing...you would need...actually, let me stop right now unless that idea would lead to a higher grade..

No up-skirt, no pantie shots, and no big boob shots... how dare you desecrate the anime name, go to your room and do it again!

Looks good. Some of the descriptions are a bit spoiler-ish.

Too many pictures on the back for my liking, it makes it look crowded

why is everyone not ridiculing you for this

I adore the front, but the back seems a bit busy and a tad spoilerish.

I don't like the fact that you focused on the disabilities on the back.

I think the blurb should be more about the story and Hisao and just mention that he will encounter some life-changing people or something like that.

Also, the front is kind of bland and uninspired.

Have you seen the one on vndb?

You should try something a bit more different and stylish.

Loop Stricken:
No! NO!
Not Games for Windows Live! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

It just says "Games For Windows", not GFWL. There are many, many games that don't use GFWL that use the label of Games For Windows.

OT: The front label looks pretty nice... but the back label... I don't know, it needs something else instead of just a black backdrop with some photos. The photos are fine, but it needs something more, as it is, it looks kinda empty. But other than that, it's a great job you've done there.

Mr.K.:
No up-skirt, no pantie shots, and no big boob shots... how dare you desecrate the anime name, go to your room and do it again!

Prety much this.

I'm with everyone who says the back looks a little off btw - and the captions are a mixture of too much information and too little. The front looks fine for a generic game box.

Monicro:
why is everyone not ridiculing you for this

Why would everyone ridicule OP?

I honestly don't understand why.

OT: Whatever, the back needs to not be black, it's too stark, it looks amateur/unprofessional.
Otherwise it's pretty good. The spoilers on the back might need to be toned back.

it looks nice but I always imagined VN,s being sold in jewel cases (you know the type they also sell music CD,s in) the back looks a bit bland with just the black background but overall it looks really nice

Lose the black on the back. The emptiness and contrast is jarring, draws in the eye too much instead of highlighting the actual images and further emphasizes the fact that you have too much empty space there. Put something back there and fade it out, I dunno, put the School exterior there, or the hospital room, or even that heart image that flashes when the protagonist is having an episode. I also might try to be more creative with the layout and shape of the pictures there. It's a simple trick, but it can be very powerful, and is preferable to the grid-like layout you currently have (no offense).

Let's look at a few examples of cover art, shall we?

Assassin's Creed
Mass Effect 2
Portal 2
Persona 3
Twilight Princess

Additionally, tweak the text on the back. You lack context for why you're pointing out the girls' traits (and given the way the Visual Novel comes off, it might be more fitting not to identify them by their respective disabilities), and you're revealing too much about them too quickly. If you must identify each character on the cover, tell us only what we'd know if we were just introduced to them, not what you'd know in the middle of their character arcs. You can identify them as the Recluse, the Athlete, the Student Council President, the Lady and the Artist, but don't give us their personalities before the game even starts. Actually, I might well go with putting all the girls on one side of the back cover, and then giving a quick intro to the story. Don't focus on the phyical aspect, don't focus on detail. Alternatively, you could snip from this (personally, I'd cut off the top paragraphs for both space reasons and because they strike me as more 'manual' material than cover art text).

Thank you for the feedback everyone, it is much appricated.

I was thinking of redoing the back anyway because I had thought of a better idea for it.

Loop Stricken:
No! NO!
Not Games for Windows Live! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Also considering you don't find out about Emi's accident for a while... spoilers maybe?

I'm using the games for windows banner because it is on a lot of games. No offence to people using other operating systems. It's not really spoilers is it? It's in the character bio on the website.

Mr.K.:
No up-skirt, no pantie shots, and no big boob shots... how dare you desecrate the anime name, go to your room and do it again!

This is schoolwork, I'm not putting that stuff on there. Saying that I had been toying with the idea of putting a shot from the anal scene in Emi's arc but I decided against it.

StBishop:

Monicro:
why is everyone not ridiculing you for this

Why would everyone ridicule OP?

I honestly don't understand why.

OT: Whatever, the back needs to not be black, it's too stark, it looks amateur/unprofessional.
Otherwise it's pretty good. The spoilers on the back might need to be toned back.

it's a game about fucking disabled anime girls this isn't rocket science

Monicro:

StBishop:

Monicro:
why is everyone not ridiculing you for this

Why would everyone ridicule OP?

I honestly don't understand why.

OT: Whatever, the back needs to not be black, it's too stark, it looks amateur/unprofessional.
Otherwise it's pretty good. The spoilers on the back might need to be toned back.

it's a game about fucking disabled anime girls this isn't rocket science

and it has developed a big fan base. What exactly is your point? Have you got something against the disabled part or because its an anime thing?

I lol at the amount of people who played it. I hink I will reinstall and play just Rin's route. The post-it notes from her route looked better when alone in the main menu.

I love the sleeve, but if it's for a project you want to show that you have an understanding of trading standards. Box art isn't supposed to have any pictures of people smoking, or drinking alcohol etc. It doesn't really mention it's a VN or anything about the gameplay either .. perhaps a couple lines about how it actually "plays" might be a good idea

Monicro:
it's a game about fucking disabled anime girls this isn't rocket science

With a huge fan-base and an amazing story. Have you played it? I doubt it

Monicro:

DrRockor:

and it has developed a big fan base.

said the person with the pony avatar.

I still dont see your point or what my avatar has to do with it

aceman67:

Monicro:
it's a game about fucking disabled anime girls this isn't rocket science

With a huge fan-base and an amazing story. Have you played it? I doubt it

image

image

you were saying

Monicro:

StBishop:

Monicro:
why is everyone not ridiculing you for this

Why would everyone ridicule OP?

I honestly don't understand why.

OT: Whatever, the back needs to not be black, it's too stark, it looks amateur/unprofessional.
Otherwise it's pretty good. The spoilers on the back might need to be toned back.

it's a game about fucking disabled anime girls this isn't rocket science

Oh, I get it.
"STOP ENJOYING THE WRONG GAMES!"

Palademon:

Oh, I get it.
"STOP ENJOYING THE WRONG GAMES!"

this is why arguing with you guys is no fun, you just have the same ten or so goto lines that you keep repeating

Can anyone think of a good picture for hisao? I'm having trouble thinking of one for him

Monicro:

Palademon:

Oh, I get it.
"STOP ENJOYING THE WRONG GAMES!"

this is why arguing with you guys is no fun, you just have the same ten or so goto lines that you keep repeating

And you sitll haven't made your main point yet. So far all you've said it is deserves ridicule and yet you have played it.

Are you saying it's a bad game?
Are you saying no one should be open about playing something you consider to simply being a game about fucking?

Edit: Or were you simply nicely suprised that no one did jump to insulting the OP for it?

Palademon:

Are you saying it's a bad game?

yes

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