Free Steam Game Competition!

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Really kind of you to do this.
I'll try to make up some kind of story, for the CS...
I used to play that days at a time when I was little.

Anyways don't get your hopes up, I suck at writing : /

TheYellowCellPhone:
You guys can all go home now, contest is over.

Single best story I have yet read. Has anyone told you you should be an author? You have a natural talent for writing. :)

Alright, it's early in the morning and I'm sleep deprived enough to do this. *cracks knuckles* Hope I don't REALLY have to PM you, that'd be too much effort right now.

The Forgotten Thing, Volume 1.

There are tales in this world, tales that might awe or astound you, tales that might wrack your brain. But no tale is more benign or adequate, nor so-so, meh, or sort-of-okay than the Tale of the Forgotten Thing.

One fine day of spring, the mushroom packed his things and set out on a journey. He did not know what this journey was for. He did not even know what things to pack. He barely knew why he was doing it at all. Let's just say he was kind of thick.
Over the hills he travelled, and sort-of far away, if you can judge the length of a few hills as "far away", until, with bellowing flame and mighty roar, he looked up and saw the head of a fearsome dragon! Mushroom readied his deadly poisonous spores to fight the fearsome beast. With a swash of his cap, he would release the poison into the path of the dragon's nostrils, sealing the mighty beast's fate. But the dragon got bored and left.
Into the night did Mushroom continue his journey; the hour grew dark and Mushroom grew weary, and as all hope seemed to wane, in his path did a strange sight reveal itself: right there, standing among the grass and trees, was a fair and noble sausage, filling hand-crated from the noblest of meats.
"Greetings, friend", he said, "Have no fear, for I am delicious".
"What is your name, o worthy companion?" Mushroom asked.
"I am delicious."

And on into the night they rode, or at least pretended to, so different in looks and composition, yet kindred spirits and brothers in blood. Cells. Molecules. Atoms. Brothers in atoms. Racism is bad. Amidst repeated statements on the quality of his flavour, Sausage managed to blurt that he was on a quest to find the legendary Forgotten Thing, a thing which was so forgotten that only the legends sort of talked about it. Judging Sausage's adventurous goals as worthy of being his own, Mushroom took it to himself to pledge an oath to help Sausage find the Forgotten Thing. Mostly because he had never pledged an oath before and wanted to try it out. He thought it was okay.

As daylight came and greeted our heroes* with renewed vigor, Mushroom and Sausage came across a fabulous cave. Upon inspection, it seemed as if the cave was inhabited by a colorful feline of the tartish variety, chased out by what seemed to be also colorful equine aggressors that were short in stature. Truly, it was an ungodly den of depravity. However, that did not deter our heroes*, mostly because they were incredibly stupid, and into the den they went, trudging through what seemed like decades of endless corridors throughout the 5 meters that the cave stretched on for. But their journey was not without reward, for there, at the heart of the cave, and also technically its ass if you consider the entrance to be its mouth, there was a giant pile of treasure! Of course, Mushroom and Sausage didn't have any use for it since they were a freaking vegeatable and a meat byproduct, but Sausage approached it nonetheless, hoping to find a thing that looked like it was forgotten. It was then that suddenly, an arrow streaked through the darkness of the cave, hitting Sausage squarely in the back. With a kind of awkward yell that changed its pitch right in the middle, Mushroom ran towards the falling Sausage and caught him in his arms. Dying, Sausage muttered one last phrase before signing off into the beyond.
"I... was.... delicious."

Turning to see who shot the arrow, Mushroom was shocked, apalled, gadzooked and flabbergasted by what he saw.
"Pineapple!" he said, "How could you have done this, brother? I thought you were my cousin! I treated you like a son! Never shall I forget what my uncle has done to my dearest friend, colleague! I thoguht my comrade was never able to do such despicable acts, but woe, I have been betrayed by my own flesh and blood. Never shall sorrow be so bitter as today, the day my own father-in-law shot my dearest friend. Whatever his name was!"
"You are weak and foolish," Pineapple said. "Also, who the hell are you. And why can you talk. Come to think of it, why can I shoot goddamn bows. This makes no sense."
And with that, he disappeared like a pineapple slowly rolling out of the cave, leaving Mushroom to his grief.
But it was soon that mushroom had to leave. His heart was full of sorrow, and his stomach full of delicious meat. But his mind was clear. And he knew that from that day on, he had a new vow to not really think much of. A vow of REVENGE.

To be continued in The Forgotten Thing 2: Forget Harder

* - not really

BreakfastMan:

TheYellowCellPhone:
You guys can all go home now, contest is over.

Single best story I have yet read. Has anyone told you you should be an author? You have a natural talent for writing. :)

image

I don't mean to brag but *cough* I got an A in English class all through elementary school.

This was pretty fun I must say, I tip my hat to you Sizzle. Though if a real author read my story he/she would probably slap me and tell me that my father smells of elderberries.

TheYellowCellPhone:

BreakfastMan:

TheYellowCellPhone:
You guys can all go home now, contest is over.

Single best story I have yet read. Has anyone told you you should be an author? You have a natural talent for writing. :)

image

I don't mean to brag but *cough* I got an A in English class all through elementary school.

It shows, it really shows. I am glad you are putting your considerable skills to good use. The world is better for it. :D

TheYellowCellPhone:
You guys can all go home now, contest is over.

Is it weird that the part that bothers me most about that is that you have both Firefox and Chrome in your taskbar?

TheYellowCellPhone:
You guys can all go home now, contest is over.

Fuck. Mr. Bigshot here just posted a flawless story, of which there is no equal.
Well, no reason to try at this point. Not quite ready for the major leagues just yet.
EDIT: Actually, fuck it, I'm going for it anyway.

Hal10k:

TheYellowCellPhone:
You guys can all go home now, contest is over.

Is it weird that the part that bothers me most about that is that you have both Firefox and Chrome in your taskbar?

I main Chrome, but I think Firefox has better incognito mode.

For...

Planning surprise parties.

Wellp, made my story. Made me think i should start a professional career in writing.
Until i noticed i can`t write anything half decent, and it`s just all a big bunch of cliches...
Oh well, at least i did give it a shot!

:0 BULLET STORM!
Oh god i loved that game. I was top 10 on the leaderboards before all the Hackers hit the game.
*fumbles around photobucket*

Oh man, i loved that game. Possibly one of my favorite ever produced :3
Since this is a giveaway, and this happy memory has been brought back to me, who wants my 75% EVE Online: Crucible? I dont feel like im ever going to play it again, so i really dont need it.
First person who wants it, reply and its yours!

I am sorry I know you said something but what is with that avatar?

I done did it. PM'd the story to you.

staika:
Oh the stories I can make around an adventure, a sausage, and a mushroom. I'm going for the win and no one can stop me XD

i was watching your avatar, waiting for an explosion :D

scornedbythenine:

staika:
Oh the stories I can make around an adventure, a sausage, and a mushroom. I'm going for the win and no one can stop me XD

i was watching your avatar, waiting for an explosion :D

I had to crop that part out of it since I couldn't get the entire thing under the avatar size limit. Besides I think what it loops better than if I added the explosion :P

Well, I sent a stupid little story, for fun's sake. Cool contest, nice to see generous people commision people to duel it out in the arena that is fiction.

throwing in a Super Monday Night Combat beta key and some TF2 items if people would like
also a hat redeem code for Rift

To keep up with the spirit of giving I have 2 copies of Fallout: New Vegas to give away on steam. First two people to pm me with e-mail address or steam name get them.

Edit:
No copies left of Fallout: NV

And I've just noticed there's a copy of Renegade Ops plus dlc up for grabs as well.

I've just entered, Hope i win *crosses fingers*
You're awesome btw.

will the longer stories get the edge in this or is a short one just as good?

Finally finished my story that took me most of the day to write but I had fun writing it so it was worth it. I'll post it here as well just in case anyone wants to read it. Warning it's pretty long as it took me almost 6 pages in word.

i won this already. mine involved charlie sheen, tourettes syndrome, a redneck sausage, and cocaine, and shia LaBeef.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

I've sent you my story. It's pretty weird and out there, but I hope you like it :). And this is a very cool thing you're doing, props!

demolisher360:

will the longer stories get the edge in this or is a short one just as good?

Well, lets just say a will read short ones a lot more thoroughly, but I will appreciate long ones a lot more...
OH GOD THE EUPHEMISMS FOR WHAT I JUST SAID.

But anyway, quality over quantity any day, and after an hour or so of reading these, the short ones may hold a certain charm ;P
But I will try to be fair as possible.

demolisher360:

You're awesome btw.

image

Eddie the head:
I am sorry I know you said something but what is with that avatar?

Aheheheheheheheheh.
It was like finding some ancient rare treasure in the depths of the internet...
I just inserted the epic face.

I am donating a Steam key for Grotesque Tactics to the contest. With the added stipulation that the people who are going for that key somehow have to shoehorn a gorilla suit into their story.

Also, my story: The Adventures Of Mr. Sausage and Senior Mushroom
One day, Mr. Sausage and Senior Mushroom were poncing about when they came to a marina. "I know", stated Sausage,"Let's go on a bit of a trip!" So they packed it up and headed out for an adventure on the open seas, going past sea monsters and braving wild storms until they finally found themselves on a deserted island. By this point, Mushroom had grown into the damp boards of the boat and Sausage had mostly rotted. As they came to, they saw a Pineapple sitting on the beach. "Come over here", said Pineapple. So Mushroom cut himself loose from the boat, and picking up the very rotten Sausage, headed over to Pineapple. However, it turned out that Pineapple didn't have their best interests at heart, as as soon as they got over there, they realized that Pineapple was in league with the seagulls and got eaten. Thankfully this story has a happy ending. Because they ate rotten sausage, the seagulls got Salmonella and shit themselves to death

THE END

Just sent my PM with my little tale.

I have sent my story. i thought it was quite ingenious myself.

I would love to participate in this contest, and have already mailed you my story.

well i didn't work a pineapple into it but here goes anyway. And by the way you are a great person for doing this giving away free games, you sir deserve a high five and a thumbs up.

I couldn't think of a very interesting story and what little I had fell apart halfway through. I hope it isn't too long.

Wow, this is very nice of you, and even if I don't win, I had fun writing my (ridiculous) story. I've sent it in, and I have another copy of Trine to donate to the giveaway if you'd like. Also, I figure I'll post my story here if anyone's interested.

Sent in my story. Love what your doing. Bump.

Let me write it here, PM later.

"Papa! Papa!" said little Mary Mushroom.

Her father, Robert Sausage, woke up from his nap. "Yes?"

"Tell me about how pizzaland was founded!" Mary said.

"Okay," said Robert. "I went on an epic adventure and killed Lord Pineapple. The end."

Then Robert went back to sleep, inadvertently dooming the world to a fiery death.

I really do hope that I win. I need more games in my steam folder. I hope that my story was good enough for LFD2.

Well that was a fun creative thing to do at 2am. Naturally I hope I win but I doubt I will.

Sent in my Counter strike story. Hope it wins, oh the hours I've spent on Counter Strike.

Captcha: She's a witch

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