Worst review I have seen in a long time (borderlands 2)

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IMO:

Borderlands 1, 2 and COD (That has nothing to do with them at all) are all awesome games and I love them all. But they are different. Like, WAY different.

Halo idk, Never played it.

I don't get it, why is this review horrible. Because he didn't like it?

Because he typed the words 'Call of Duty'? Is that why it's a horrible review?

Oh God, as soon as the comparisons to Halo and CoD came up, my mind auto-composed a really funny song that sounds like it belongs in the Neverhood that played in my head as I continued to read.
I don't even care for Borderlands (I played it a little when it was free that one weekend on Steam, and it wasn't bad), but this is just... this is gold.

Anyone realize the depressing thing about this article?

The average gamer doesn't read this. The average consumer doesn't read this.

THE CEOS THAT RUN THE COMPANIES THAT MAKE THE GAMES DO.

Now we get why every game needs to be like CoD or WoW... because of crap like this.

For.I.Am.Mad:
I don't get it, why is this review horrible. Because he didn't like it?

Because he insisted (with mostly false or inaccurate information) that this game is inferior because it isn't CoD or Halo. That's why.

I couldn't get past the "Halos" and "Calls of duties". *giggles* Seriously who writes like that?

"Borderlands 2's single-player campaign mode isn't as good as what you'll find in games like COD: Black Ops or the Medal of Honor series"

Stopped reading
Reported
Sage
Threw monitor out of window
Set tower on fire
Alerted the authorities
Sent letter to local PM

Pffft I've read worse reviews on Kotaku.

But yes this review is wonderfully missing the point of what Borderlands 2 is and what it's trying to do.

Faladorian:

Agreed. There are far worse things out there than somebody not enjoying your favorite game, reasons aside.

Krantos:

Gunner 51:
*snip*

I think you're misunderstanding what people are finding funny about it. It's not his opinion that's funny, it's the reasons he gave.

To put it succinctly, he seems to have misunderstood what the game was. The fact that he repeatedly compared it to COD and Halo indicates that those titles are the benchmarks he's holding the game up to. The problem with that is they are totally different genres. They may have similar mechanics, but they are not in the same genre.

COD and Halo are action focused FPSes. That's what they do. Thus, they are, by nature going to be more immediately engrossing than Borderlands, because that isn't what it's trying to do. Likewise with multiplayer. COD and Halo are focused on competitive multiplayer. Thus, they have more diverse multiplayer modes. Borderlands is only focused on co-op multiplayer so it doesn't stand up as a competitive multiplayer title.

He compared Borderlands 2 to COD and Halo on their terms, which, of course lead to Borderlands looking bad, because it's not trying to do the same things as they are.

I actually like COD and Halo (I don't like their communities, but the games themselves are good), and found Borderlands a bit dull (I can only have fun playing as Lilith). But this review was WAY off.

A guy in my office put it best, imo. His review was like going into Taco Bell and calling it the worst burger joint ever.

@Krantos: I'd have to beg to differ on there are several genres of FPS. A first person shooter is a first person shooter to me. Just because Borderlands maybe set in a dreary wasteland doesn't make it any more or less an FPS than the futuristic looking Halo, or gritty setting Modern Warfare. Whether it is an action packed FPS or not, it's still an FPS. The reviewer was simply using his own experience and trying to compare it to that.
I totally have to grant you that as a competitive multiplayer title, Borderlands 2 simply doesn't stand up to the fast and fluid pacing of a Call of Duty game. In addition, it's community will beat the CoD community hands down in terms of friendliness, IMO.
But let's not rip into the reviewer too much, his review might highlight his own inexperience with games. It's like laughing at the elderly when they fall off a skateboard in an attempt to keep up with the younger generation - it's a bit cruel.

@Faladorian: Thanks, I try to see both sides of the coin. It's just not worth getting one's wig off because they disgree with a small issue. Live and let live, I say.

runic knight:

If I criticized a car for its inability to meet my underwater needs, I think I would be deserving of a bit of verbal nose-rubbed-in-the-piss time.

If I saw someone that did that with a completely serious, and completely official review of a car I would probably die laughing.

"Sure the new Toyota Orpheus has all wheel drive, but can I use it to salvage sunken ships? No! Room for 5? Where is the rest of my crew going to sit? In the trunk? Best in class safety? Hardly! The headlights would barely illuminate an iceberg at 900 yards, and the heated seats wouldn't protect you from hypothermia around the Antarctic. 1 out of 5 stars!"

I also cry a little when reviewers compare a Total War game to Civilization. But hey it's a niche subject and the review probably works for a broad audience.

Thats why we have media that specialize and media that are more general. "Wall Street Journal" is not a game magazine so it should have a different angle than something called "Lootwhores weekly".

I....I just...what?
"It's not like COD because it doesn't have the online multiplayer so it must suck in comparison." What.
"The game isn't manga-like enough to be super-hip"....What.
"I played an 18+ rated game with my 14-year old son"....wha-...okay, actually, I don't really care about that.

Still, my general reaction is: What.
So, the game is bad because it's different from another game although Borderlands 2 doesn't even try to be anything like COD? According to the author, all FPS games must be like COD or suck otherwise. Jesus.

Captcha: kitten mittens
Indeed.

Gunner 51:
[I'd have to beg to differ on there are several genres of FPS. A first person shooter is a first person shooter to me. Just because Borderlands maybe set in a dreary wasteland doesn't make it any more or less an FPS than the futuristic looking Halo, or gritty setting Modern Warfare. Whether it is an action packed FPS or not, it's still an FPS.

I guess that's where the disagreement lies (lays?). It's less a matter of having different settings, and more about having different mechanics.

Borderland and CoD both use guns from a first person perspective, but, mechanically, that's where the similarity ends. Between the skills, loot, regions, and quest systems, borderlands sets itself apart from CoD which doesn't have any of those systems. What it does have is more focused action and narrative elements (as well as, imo, tighter controls and smarter AI) and, as stated previously, a deeper Multiplayer component.

I think a similar comparison could be made to Mass Effect and Gears of War. Both contain shooting enemies from a third-person perspective and chest high walls, but to claim they are trying to engage the player in the same way, I think, is a disservice to them both.

KoudelkaMorgan:

I may have a bias for BLT, and hugely against Halo and COD etc., because I prefer shooting interesting npcs (humanoid or otherwise) with outlandish weaponry as opposed to pwning the same douchebags in every successive iteration of "couch soldier of fortune" that comes along.

So why don't you like Halo again?

OT: I do love that he apparently couldn't go a paragraph without beginning to fantasize about Black Ops 2.

Really, their problem was that they put an FPS reviewer in front of a shooter-RPG and told him "This is an FPS. Review it like one."

You need the right reviewers for the right jobs. This guy wasn't.

Vuliev:

the first-person shooter, published by 2K Games, inevitably invites comparisons with the Halos and Calls of Duty games

HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHHAHHAHA

The game isn't manga-like enough to be super-hip

AHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Borderlands 2's single-player campaign mode isn't as good as what you'll find in games like COD: Black Ops or the Medal of Honor series.

HAAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

There were, however, too many interludes between pitched battles.

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

I think it's fair for players to demand...scads of downloadable content

HAHAHHHHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

image

I don't even care that he doesn't like Borderlands, since I don't either--as a matter of fact, he even brings up a couple of gripes that I also have about the series. But the other, genuinely asinine, things he says make me double over in convulsions of both laughter and apoplexy.

EDIT: This comment on the article is particularly entertaining:

"Every year me and my son enjoy my wife's vanilla cake. It's light, moist and slightly sweet. This year we could not wait for my wife's cake so we decided to get a bakery fresh apple pie. I was shocked to find out that the warm apple pie I had purchased was, in fact, not my wife's vanilla cake. It was covered in some sort of crust and contained within warm, cinnamon coated apple pie filling which has a much different texture than cake. In short, next year I'll wait for the same cake I always eat because apple pie is not cake."

Everything about this comment made me laugh.

Love it.

Moonlight Butterfly:
My god, this guy is an idiot. He seems to be in EA's pocket too.

He's getting paid for this, that makes me want to cry.

Wait what? He's talking about COD? And how it's better then Borderlands. Last I checked that game was owned by Activision. How is this EA's fault? Or is EA becoming like Communism? Doesn't matter if it has anything to do with the subject matter just blame them.

For.I.Am.Mad:
Because he typed the words 'Call of Duty'? Is that why it's a horrible review?

Because he compared an RPG shooter to Call of Duty, and complained that a co-op RPG shooter didn't have CoD multiplayer. Both absolutely idiotic statements.

Oh dear, that really is a poor review. If you don't like the game fine but don't try to draw parallels with COD. Twit!

Eddie the head:

Moonlight Butterfly:
My god, this guy is an idiot. He seems to be in EA's pocket too.

He's getting paid for this, that makes me want to cry.

Wait what? He's talking about COD? And how it's better then Borderlands. Last I checked that game was owned by Activision. How is this EA's fault? Or is EA becoming like Communism? Doesn't matter if it has anything to do with the subject matter just blame them.

Ooops lol I was very tired when I wrote that, was just a mistake :)

(Me progessively reading the entire review)

......
....... -_-
.............. o_o
.......................0_0 w..wut?

I really need to apply where this reviewer is working, cause if there hiring reviewers like this...I will get the job in no time flat, and probably be rich within a week. But seriously...did the reviewer actually take the the time and play this game without making comparisons to CoD and Halo at every second? Dear god, this better not be a reflection of how the so called "casual" crowd views this game.

Abandon4093:
Everything about this comment made me laugh.

Love it.

Glad I could help. :D

Just for the Record this is the "worst" review you've seen because it's terribly written and not because it's a negative review right?

I know this word gets thrown around a lot but this reviewer is biased. Just like every other reviewer has their own bias. But the distinction here is that the final word on this review is specifically a statement of bias.

GAunderrated:
It may be the game for you, but if you're in the market for a new FPS, I'd at least counsel waiting to compare it to Black Ops 2, due out in mid-November, or Halo 4, which is slated for a December release"

That's implying that these games that you haven't played yet are automatically better than this game. Which is bad writing.
While I find comparing two games that are BOTH ALREADY OUT! is a perfectly legitimate review strategy, comparing something to something you haven't played yet is wrong on many levels.

Thanks for sharing a bad review with us OP, I needed that.

Mikeyfell:
Just for the Record this is the "worst" review you've seen because it's terribly written and not because it's a negative review right?

I know this word gets thrown around a lot but this reviewer is biased. Just like every other reviewer has their own bias. But the distinction here is that the final word on this review is specifically a statement of bias.

GAunderrated:
It may be the game for you, but if you're in the market for a new FPS, I'd at least counsel waiting to compare it to Black Ops 2, due out in mid-November, or Halo 4, which is slated for a December release"

That's implying that these games that you haven't played yet are automatically better than this game. Which is bad writing.
While I find comparing two games that are BOTH ALREADY OUT! is a perfectly legitimate review strategy, comparing something to something you haven't played yet is wrong on many levels.

Thanks for sharing a bad review with us OP, I needed that.

Just for the record yes it's the worst review because it was so badly written and the points were completely incoherent/biased. I have seen better arguments on gamefaqs and the escapist for why they don't like borderlands 2 and I respect their opinion because they conveyed it in a logical manner, unlike this review I posted.

StashAugustine:

Borderlands 2 falls short because it's missing several key elements you need to have in a 2012 first-person shooter game - most notably, a rich multiplayer online mode. There's an extremely limited four-player cooperative mode, and if you have an Xbox Live Gold account, you can team up that way, but this isn't the type of deeply engrossing FPS game the headset-wearing COD crowds gather to play months and months after release. In comparison, I read on several sites that COD: Black Ops 2 will feature up to six teams, for a total of 18 simultaneous players, in multiplayer mode.

18 players! If this guy ever sees TF2 he'll have a heart attack, never mind BF3. And I do love the "read on several sites."

God I'd hate to see what happens to him if he sees planetside 2.

Gunner 51:
I'd have to beg to differ on there are several genres of FPS. A first person shooter is a first person shooter to me.

What about games like Deus Ex, Thief, Mirror's Edge, etc?

Sure, they're first person, and there's shooting of a kind involved, but in no way would you call them FPS's. Admittedly that's not the same as comparing Borderlands to CoD, but i'm sure you get the point. They're completely different kinds of games, aimed at completely different markets.

Moonlight Butterfly:

Eddie the head:

Moonlight Butterfly:
My god, this guy is an idiot. He seems to be in EA's pocket too.

He's getting paid for this, that makes me want to cry.

Wait what? He's talking about COD? And how it's better then Borderlands. Last I checked that game was owned by Activision. How is this EA's fault? Or is EA becoming like Communism? Doesn't matter if it has anything to do with the subject matter just blame them.

Ooops lol I was very tired when I wrote that, was just a mistake :)

Don't worry - with that kind of mistake, surely you're qualified to write game reviews for the WSJ!

He's a Senior Editor, no less. A search by author name on the site is telling, as well.

A generic game reviews search shows they also carry "Kill Screen" content. Here's my apples-to-apples 'review' of Adam Najberg's "Game Theory" brand reviews: let someone from Kill Screen do them for you, they can hardly do worse.

I don't like FPS games. I won't play Borderlands 2 because of this. But it's definitely not like COD or Halo. If anything it owes more to Diablo then COD...

If I did have to play an FPS (the world hangs in the balance or something) then I'd probably consider Borderlands over COD or Halo as the RPG elements are more up my alley.

If the added VATS I'd be all over this game I'm sure... ;D

@Distorted Reality: I would say Deus Ex (both) was indeed a first person shooter - albeit a finely written one with first set of moral choices that I'd ever encountered in a game. Most of the shooting did take place in a first person view. Though I will agree with you on Mirror's Edge not strictly being an FPS. On the grounds I never bothered with the guns - it was far more fun to kick the snot out of the mercenaries and the authorities. (Besides, the shooting side of things seemed to be shoehorned in, to me.)

@Krantos: Even Doom had different regions, granted that they were a lot smaller with each level getting more and more infernal influence incorporated into their design. They also had loot lying around, although these took the form of power-ups like the Soul Sphere or just extraneous weaponry which would give you a small amount of ammuntion for that weapon.

I even classify Mass Effect games as third person shooter due to it's mechanics in a similar way to Gears of War. The difference between them is that the Mass Effect games are streets ahead in moral choice systems and in writing. I'm sure nearly everyone will agree that Mass Effect games have more player punches than Gears of War did.

With introspection, I get the impression that way of categorising mainly by mechanics must be something of an anachronism these days. To speak strictly for myself, anything adds to that is merely window dressing to me.

Man, he REALLY didn't like the Doomsday trailer.

distortedreality:
snip

Haha well played :p

But yeah, I do get Activision and EA mixed up a lot.

I do write reviews though, just not when I'm on eight pain killers a day and half asleep.

I'd probably like to think I'm better than this, but....

The artificial intelligence of the aliens and other enemies in this game is excellent, and I found it hard to outsmart and outmaneuver them

I have no problem believing that :P

I could probably say something smart about the review, but even Christopher Walken pissed.

PS: Also, English is not my main language, but something about wording and general composition of the review seems off to me.

For.I.Am.Mad:
Because he typed the words 'Call of Duty'? Is that why it's a horrible review?

It's because he compared it to Call of Duty, it's nothing like COD. It's more like Diablo or Torchlight with guns.

Gratuitous cussing? No 'rich multiplayer'? Advertising that doesn't take itself too seriously? Didn't like some of the characters? Too many weapons?

Come on, were you even trying...?

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