Gift idea: Worst PC Game ever

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Just get them The War Z.

Take my word for it, its got Golden Turd Award 2012 written all over it.

Well it would, if you could see the writing through all the horribly stretched textures, bad speedtree usage and hilariously thrown together chinese art farm assets they've bought to try to make it look like they've been "working on it for a couple years".

postal 2 recently got greenlit on steam. it was a really shitty game when it came out, and now its a really shitty game that looks hideous

Oh come one...Brink? Dead Island? Mass Effect 3? Those can't be the worst games out there. Surely at worst they'd be average, and just overhyped. If he wants the worst, Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, Revelations 2012, Postal 3, Leisure Suit Larry...if only he had a PS3, you could get him the Men in Black III tie-in! I hear that's crushingly awful.

Ed130:
Revelations 2012

A low quality Left 4 Dead clone.

Captcha: dead air (no, not weird at all...)

Low quality? More like no quality. It is so bad I couldn't even stand watching Jesse play it.

Ed130:
Revelations 2012

A low quality Left 4 Dead clone.

Captcha: dead air (no, not weird at all...)

I don't know man the modeling on those bananas is pretty reasonable.

Jazoni89:
Revelations 2012 *snip*

Seconded. And it doesn't cost that much either.

zoo tycon 2, the tutorial alone is so fucked up it drives ANYONE up the walls :P

Another vote here for revelations 2012.

Gift it to him over steam, then hell be forever marked as owning it, because you can't remove games from your list.

Baron_Rouge:
Oh come one...Brink? Dead Island? Mass Effect 3? Those can't be the worst games out there. Surely at worst they'd be average, and just overhyped. If he wants the worst, Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, Revelations 2012, Postal 3, Leisure Suit Larry

Ignore morons. These people are the same sort of people who if asked, would say Mother Teresa was the worst human ever.

Get him "Legendary" it'll drive him crazy with awfulness.

hazabaza1:
Go get him Deus Ex and see his reaction.

I second this. Give him something brilliant at his birthday. Don't buy crap for just a cheap joke you will probably forget in a day.

Aris Khandr:

Going to Metacritic, the lowest score in the time period specified is "Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust" with a Metacritic score of 20 and a user score of 2.3. So a soundly unappealing title, with the bonus of making your friend think you got him porn for his birthday.

This wins. Hilarity factor applies. Bravo! /thread

X3: Reunion, or any of Egosofts' jump gate concentration camp simulators for that matter.

Another:
Bad Rats
Revelations 2012
Limbo of the Lost
Big Rigs
Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust

You can't go wrong with any of these. Larry gets bonus points for both being bad and being embarrassing to play when any other person is within a 5 mile radius.

Limbo of the Lost would have been a great game to give him, but the only problem is that it's not being sold anymore due to plagiarism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbo_of_the_Lost

Infernal

Here is a review of the demo, by that smart chap who made the Half Life 2 parody comics.

Long story short: marvelously bad writing (the hero is called "Dark Eaville"), idiotic mechanics (like being able to turn invisible, but only whilst rolling forward) and generally so bad it's good.

There is one problem with this idea, he only plays PC games (i'm assuming you don't mean Zynga crap) so he is actually more than likely to be well informed and discerning in his taste and he wouldn't even try to install it. It's like giving someone who like wine wine-in-a-box, they won't even attempt to drink it and will find it stupid. Unless you put a real bottle in the box, so thats the trick. By a cheapo crap game for the box than put something awesome inside much better gift and good laughs will be had instead of groaning at your attempt at a bad gift.

mavkiel:
To make sure its annoying, I picked titles at least have the appearance of being fun. Otherwise one could pick a game like my little pony.

Fear 3 is pretty god awful. Nothing redeeming about it.

Mass effect 3. Some folks say everything but the ending is good.. but personally I thought it felt like a hollow shooter.

Dragon age 2. Cut and paste environments. If your friend played the first one.. the changes can be highly annoying.

Um... seriously dude. he asks for bad games and you give him some pretty damn good ones.

On topic - big rigs, or if you want more recent ones: alpha protocol or hydraphobia

MammothBlade:

Bonus points for offensiveness.

Not quite Reverse-Castle Wolfenstein.

I've seen really offensive things in my time

But Damn...

I think the racist remix of the Beastie boys as the soundtrack really takes the cake though.

I think Postal 3 is a decent choice, you need a game you can get drunk and laugh at while you take turns. There are some great mentions of truly horrible games here but you need something with that 'plan 9 from outer space' feel where it's terrible but you keep coming back to it. Also suggested is Boiling point road to hell & Duke nuke'em forever.

Personally I think you should get him a good game or even get 2 copies of a co-op crap game that you can get dirt cheap like Kane and Lynch 2 and play through it with him, again laughing at the horribleness

I can't believe some people are saying Mass Effect 3 or Dragon Age 2. Even if you don't like them (I really love ME3) that's not a good gag gift of an awful game.

I'd sugget Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. Widely reguarded as one of the worst games ever made. Unfortunately copies go on AMazon for about $100 so you'd have to be committed to the joke. Though any hardcore PC gamer should love to own a copy of such an infamous game.

Why don't you just set your money on fire instead? That will be more fun and it would serve a purpose.
Your PC gamer friend may at best accept your shit with good grace and then never look at it again. Also, don't support shitty games.

PieBrotherTB:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Coronation-Street-Mystery-Missing-Hotpot/dp/B0057LGBZ0/ref=sr_1_1?s=videogames&ie=UTF8&qid=1352414155&sr=1-1

This (you kind of have to be British to understand it, but I think there's a certain mass understanding)

O_o In the name of all that's holy, why does that exist?!

And there I was about to suggest Roadworks Simulator...

Hero in a half shell:
Stone Quarry Simulator!
http://compare.ebay.co.uk/like/221028521634?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&adtype=pla&crdt=0

Roadworks Simulator!
http://compare.ebay.co.uk/like/220871588596?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&adtype=pla&crdt=0

Warfighter!
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Medal-of-Honor-Warfighter-Limited-Edition-PC-CD-KEY-/121009259938?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item1c2cb6c5a2

Aaaaaaand someone beat me to it anyway. I guess I'll just slink off in shame.

For a gag gift, I'd recommend Street Cleaning Simulator 2011.


Looks like it goes for about $30 on Amazon.

PieBrotherTB:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Coronation-Street-Mystery-Missing-Hotpot/dp/B0057LGBZ0/ref=sr_1_1?s=videogames&ie=UTF8&qid=1352414155&sr=1-1

This (you kind of have to be British to understand it, but I think there's a certain mass understanding)

You take that back! That game is (probably) the best game ever!
When I first saw it being sold in GAME I removed the leading game in their 'Top Ten' section and replaced them all with that game in hopes that they would correct their foolish mistake.

OT:

You should totally buy that Coronation Street game.

Also:

veloper:
Why don't you just set your money on fire instead? That will be more fun and it would serve a purpose.
Your PC gamer friend may at best accept your shit with good grace and then never look at it again. Also, don't support shitty games.

Are you a very serious person, or do you just have very serious friends?

Hmmm, well if I understand the intent of the gift my advice would be "Planet Alcatraz" from Gamersgate.

To explain this one, a title you've never heard of probably, it's one of those objectively terrible, but oddly entertaining games. It has probably the worst voice acting in history, which might not even have relevency to what your doing. We're talking "makes Two World look like Oscar material" here.

The game itself is a top down RPG where your some kind of special agent called a Vampire (if I remember) sent to perform a "Escape From NEw York" type rescue on a prison planet. Your shuttle crashes, killing the rest of your team, and hilarity ensues.

The game itself looks like it's from the mid-late 1990s, looking and playing similarly to "Fallout 2" which the game seems to borrow liberally from, including things like choosing 3 skills to "tag" for your character upon creation.

I believe the game was made in Russia.

-

If your considering "Left Behind" I actually recommend against it. To be honest it's bad, but not THAT bad, and to be fair it is based on a rather popular series of Christian fantasy novels. To really "get it" you would have had to read them. It's really no more offensive than anything based on any other mythology (like that Revelation 2012 game) just a differant take on the end of the world, if your not a Christian and don't believe it, it can be appreciated on those merits.

If you want OFFENSIVE, I recommend finding a game called "Ethnic Cleansing" a white supremacist video game based around saving the world (violently) from minorities. You can play as a KKK member or a Skinhead, and the game includes RL instructions for getting in touch with real white supremecist groups. The stated intent of the game being to "give white kids hope". Take your guns to the ghetto, secret jewish enclaves, and eventually make it to Isreal for a showdown with a rocket launcher wielding Ariel Sharon. It's needless to say dated (I think right on the edge of what your talking about). A guy I met was showing it off on his laptop, he picked it up as a paid download. One of those "I can't believe it actually exists" games.

At any rate those are a couple of suggestions that will probably catch your friend by surprise. I consider Planet Alcatraz sort of the "Deadly Premonition" of PC games on a lot of levels so that's probably the best choice if you actually want to see him play the game for a while, as opposed to just snicker and never actually play it.

ischmalud:
zoo tycon 2, the tutorial alone is so fucked up it drives ANYONE up the walls :P

I actually remember enjoying that game! Although they broke a few things that were perfectly fine in the original and the kiddie presentation was quite annoying.

What can I say, I used to be a real management game nut. With the sort of barely-functional tripe that turns up in that genre, you learn to accept mediocre.

Beach Life and Ski Resort Tycoon are two properly terrible examples that spring to mind. The only good features I can think of for Beach Life were that the box art was quite nice and the interface was clear. Ski Resort Tycoon had no redeeming features at all.

I'd go for a really shitty "point and click" adventure. Something like Dreamweb.

Or the PC version of TMNT.

Space Bunnies Must Die if you want something more recent.

But the truly stand-out example has already been pointed out. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is the most hilariously buggy, poorly made, poorly thought out title to ever see release.

The fact that a patch had to be released to make the opponent vehicles participate in the race is hilarious. But even then they still stop before they reach the finish line, making the game still impossible to lose.

Big Rigs, all I can say is Congratulations:

"You're Winner!"

image

Silvance:
I need to get my roommate a present for his b-day, and I'm trying to find the most horrendous PC game I can find (he only plays PC.)I'm taking all suggestions, but I'd prefer a more recent one, i.e. last 6 years or so; one that'll be easily compatible with Windows 7. Thanks!

you can go for postal 3. they fucked it up badly.

maybe you havent been online for a while or you would just go for farming simulator 2013
trust me, it is boring.

but it has co-op so you can dick around with your buddy

MammothBlade:

Bonus points for offensiveness.

Not quite Reverse-Castle Wolfenstein.

OMG, that music, that loading screens- obvious choice here :/

P.S. On the side note- if average hebrew soldier can withstand 2-3 grenades to the face, then they deserve to run the world
P.P.S. On the side note of the side note- anyone who can survive multiple grenade explosions deserves to run the world

Worst recent-ish PC game? Warfighter, Diablo 3 or one of those Ubi games you can't start because of the DRM. Can't go wrong with those.

I am shocked...shocked I say, that no-one has said Saints Row 2 yet! It should be a good game, it should be fun, instead it is a rancid piece of elephant seal dung dripping with failure...plus the cars are un-drivable.

This thread can only be settled by one game, and that game is Country Justice: Revenge of the Rednecks.

I just love this review of it. The reviewer plays it so straight with such a deadpan delivery, it's just brilliant.

TAdamson:
Big Rigs, all I can say is Congratulations:

"You're Winner!"

I have to second this. It's laughably bad in every conceivable way. Aside from the ground (and even that is sketchy at best), there is no collision detection, resulting in the player being able to drive straight through buildings and trees, and sink straight through bridges.

The driving physics are the best part though. If you turn and reverse your speed builds up infinitely, resulting in FTL speeds:

you might be able to hunt down a free copy online. the kennedy assasination simulator. yes you too can put a bullet in a president and see if you can match the historical record.

rhizhim:

maybe you havent been online for a while or you would just go for farming simulator 2013
trust me, it is boring.

but it has co-op so you can dick around with your buddy

Not even kidding, my friends and I all got this out of a bargain bin as a joke and played it at a recent LAN party. It was the most fun we had all night, partially because we were screwing about, and partially because one of our friends went full-bore and made a massive farm.

It sure did piss him off when he came back from the bathroom to find a 1.2 kilometre long dick shape harvested into his wheat fields though.

Also my friend stole all his cows.

If a game's quality is defined by how enjoyable it is; the least fun I have had gaming was CoDBlOps.

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