Now, YOU'RE thinking with portals.

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Well, we all know what PA's Gabe would do: http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2007/20071012.jpg

So. You have a Portal Gun. How do you use it?

Me? I put one portal inside a box and ship the box to wherever I want to visit. Yeah, travel time overall would be a bit longer, but the time you actually spend TRAVELLING is zilch, you can come back easily, and hell, it's just awesome.

Much less expensive, too.

I don't blame you.

There's no use crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake.

Hide one underneath the doormat.

Then when some unsuspecting solicitor comes calling they get a one way ticket to Siberia, go bother a polar bear.

I would set up a bit of an obstacle course for passing cars as I send them into one portal that sends them up into the sky. Then immediately send them through another portal that lands them safely back on the road. I just love screwing with people.

Also, I would probably rob stores. The temptation is just too much.

I would give myself a full back massage.

The cake is a lie, people.

SHHH, Russ.

You aren't supposed to just TELL them that.

Remember when you told them the cake was a lie and they were quiet and then CantFaketheFunk said not to say that? That was great.

I would probably make portals inside rickety buildings, then step out of them onto a balcony...wait for a guy in an orange suit to drive by, straighten my tie, and go back through the portal, closing it behind me.

Im still in school so if I could put a small one on my desk underneath my paper that goes to somewhere with all my notes it would be the most awesome thing ever.

Well... Maybe using gravity to launch myself really high into the air would be cooler but still...

I'd never use any other means of transportation ever again.

I generate a continuous free fall scenario until my body turns into a goo of near-to-be hotty hot plasma.

Russ Pitts:
The cake is a lie, people.

And yet it isn't. Absolutely brilliant game by the way, it's been quite a while since a game made laugh that much.

As for potential usage of a portal gun: Either creating a everlasting supply of clean energy (imagine one portal at the bottom of a dam, the other one at the top) or using it to attend lectures while in the comfort of my own home.

Aquilon:
And yet it isn't. Absolutely brilliant game by the way, it's been quite a while since a game made laugh that much.

As for potential usage of a portal gun: Either creating a everlasting supply of clean energy (imagine one portal at the bottom of a dam, the other one at the top) or using it to attend lectures while in the comfort of my own home.

Save the enviroment, be lazy, save the enviroment, be lazy....

That's a hard one.

I'd have one at home all the time, so I could go home in a split second. though the problem would be getting back to work... seeing as my car is still there

Lance Icarus:

Aquilon:
And yet it isn't. Absolutely brilliant game by the way, it's been quite a while since a game made laugh that much.

As for potential usage of a portal gun: Either creating a everlasting supply of clean energy (imagine one portal at the bottom of a dam, the other one at the top) or using it to attend lectures while in the comfort of my own home.

Save the enviroment, be lazy, save the enviroment, be lazy....

That's a hard one.

Don't worry about it. The amount of water that can pass through one of those portals at terminal velocity wouldn't even be enough to power your house (probably). Maybe if you had a really efficient set of turbines or something.

for all you people who said you'd never need to use transportation, in order for the portal gun to transport you somewhere you need to BE at the place you want to teleport to, and you cant just leave the teleport open indefinitely, who knows what sort of 5th and 6th dimensional effects that has on the world? also people would probably abuse it. the lines for using the damned things would be like soviet Russia.

so the fact remains that youd have to get to the place your traveling to regularly and would have to keep the portal open in some inconspicuous area where no one will find it or else youd have a crapload of attention to your easy-street transportionisming. the tele-gun would have to be used in less practical uses (or more practical) things such as theft or the like, however security cameras would probably pick you up making the teleport and you'd get caught anyway.

Put an exit at home, put an entrance near my office. (Preferably somewhere I can lock up.) Cut commuting time in half. Yay!

-- Steve

Zetim:
for all you people who said you'd never need to use transportation, in order for the portal gun to transport you somewhere you need to BE at the place you want to teleport to, and you cant just leave the teleport open indefinitely, who knows what sort of 5th and 6th dimensional effects that has on the world? also people would probably abuse it. the lines for using the damned things would be like soviet Russia.

so the fact remains that youd have to get to the place your traveling to regularly and would have to keep the portal open in some inconspicuous area where no one will find it or else youd have a crapload of attention to your easy-street transportionisming. the tele-gun would have to be used in less practical uses (or more practical) things such as theft or the like, however security cameras would probably pick you up making the teleport and you'd get caught anyway.

You have a portal gun!! The police cant catch you!
(Ok, I admit this is a little too much power... Im corrupt already)

I just thought of the best sexual catchphrase for people who have played the game.

"Please assume the party submission position."

Zetim:
for all you people who said you'd never need to use transportation, in order for the portal gun to transport you somewhere you need to BE at the place you want to teleport to, and you cant just leave the teleport open indefinitely, who knows what sort of 5th and 6th dimensional effects that has on the world? also people would probably abuse it. the lines for using the damned things would be like soviet Russia.

so the fact remains that youd have to get to the place your traveling to regularly and would have to keep the portal open in some inconspicuous area where no one will find it or else youd have a crapload of attention to your easy-street transportionisming. the tele-gun would have to be used in less practical uses (or more practical) things such as theft or the like, however security cameras would probably pick you up making the teleport and you'd get caught anyway.

Dude,I already figured that out. Put it inside a box and mail the box to wherever you want to go.

Katana314:
I just thought of the best sexual catchphrase for people who have played the game.

"Please assume the party submission position."

They should have that outside of voting booths.

I'd check my shower curtain for mercury.

CantFaketheFunk:

Zetim:
for all you people who said you'd never need to use transportation, in order for the portal gun to transport you somewhere you need to BE at the place you want to teleport to, and you cant just leave the teleport open indefinitely, who knows what sort of 5th and 6th dimensional effects that has on the world? also people would probably abuse it. the lines for using the damned things would be like soviet Russia.

so the fact remains that youd have to get to the place your traveling to regularly and would have to keep the portal open in some inconspicuous area where no one will find it or else youd have a crapload of attention to your easy-street transportionisming. the tele-gun would have to be used in less practical uses (or more practical) things such as theft or the like, however security cameras would probably pick you up making the teleport and you'd get caught anyway.

Dude,I already figured that out. Put it inside a box and mail the box to wherever you want to go.

whats to say the portal will s tay inside the box? it would seem more logical if the box moves the portal will stay where it is

In the game, portals disappear if they are on an object that starts moving. Probably has more to do with the difficulty of implementing moving portals though.

More portal uses:

Apply suntan lotion to yourself without any help!
In the shower, scrub that hard to reach area on your back!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn it I just got this sick image in my head and since misery loves company, ill give you a hint: Vasaline, Solitaire, Chuck and Larry.

Edit:

Time has passed, and looking back at this I feel ashamed. So immature....

Easykill:
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn it I just got this sick image in my head and since misery loves company, ill give you a hint: Vasaline, Solitaire, Chuck and Larry.

Really? REALLY??

I'm going to sidestep the homophobia/fixation here and bring up a more interesting side point to what you've alluded to. Interacting with oneself through the portals. Obviously, you can throw things at yourself through a portal. But what happens if you directly interacted with yourself? Theoretically, depending on how close the portals were, you might even be able to bypass your immediate self, and interact with yourself another recursion down. Also, Portals seem to inherently have no volume, your person and all objects are always entirely contained in the space on either side of the portal. What would happen if you were to put a portal opposing each other in a compacting space, and stay within the confines of the portals, as the walls they were on met? As far as I can tell, I think you would crush yourself. The you entering one portal, would begin to infringe on the space of the you not yet out of the space, and you would literally squeeze into a perfectly portal shaped disc. Then, once you'd filled that non-space, you'd probably compact into a very high density. Depending on how close together you can get the two walls together, you might even be able to force your body into a critical mass! How exciting.

I guess, my point is, if I had portals, I would put one on each of two opposing surfaces, stick something in freefall between them, and then bring the two portals together, just to see what happened. This, of course, ignoring the apparent rule of portals ceasing to function on mobile surfaces (much like Gabe's ignoring the rule of having to put portals ON something, rather than freefloating in space.)

At worst, nothing happens, and at best, end of the universe! Schweet.

"The risk of destruction is totally minimal."

Geoffrey42:
Really? REALLY??

I'm going to sidestep the homophobia/fixation here and bring up a more interesting side point to what you've alluded to. Interacting with oneself through the portals. Obviously, you can throw things at yourself through a portal. But what happens if you directly interacted with yourself? Theoretically, depending on how close the portals were, you might even be able to bypass your immediate self, and interact with yourself another recursion down. Also, Portals seem to inherently have no volume, your person and all objects are always entirely contained in the space on either side of the portal. What would happen if you were to put a portal opposing each other in a compacting space, and stay within the confines of the portals, as the walls they were on met? As far as I can tell, I think you would crush yourself. The you entering one portal, would begin to infringe on the space of the you not yet out of the space, and you would literally squeeze into a perfectly portal shaped disc. Then, once you'd filled that non-space, you'd probably compact into a very high density. Depending on how close together you can get the two walls together, you might even be able to force your body into a critical mass! How exciting.

I guess, my point is, if I had portals, I would put one on each of two opposing surfaces, stick something in freefall between them, and then bring the two portals together, just to see what happened. This, of course, ignoring the apparent rule of portals ceasing to function on mobile surfaces (much like Gabe's ignoring the rule of having to put portals ON something, rather than freefloating in space.)

At worst, nothing happens, and at best, end of the universe! Schweet.

Psycho.

And when you pop out of the portal in the box,claim you're from another dimension and that you're a king there. :p

i would probably put one portal in my fridge and the other next to my desk you know for uhhhh efficiency reasons

I'd "zap" a portal in my house and then give the gun to my wife when she has to travel overseas (every other month for several weeks at a time). She'd "zap" the other end of the portal in her hotel room, and then she could come and go so we wouldn't have to miss eachother as much. She'd still have to fly back and forth but that still would still beat being apart for the entire time, imho.

And for every day use, I'd leave one side always open at the house so I could go back any time during the day. Taking a 15-minute break in the break room, or taking 15, chilling back at your house? I'd take the latter anytime.

I'd also like to say that I liked this little game a lot more than anything else I've played recently as well. I still haven't finished SupCom, WiC, or even Oblivion, but I played this game from start to finish--twice--during the first day I had it. The dev commentary was a welcome suprise, and before I knew it, it was 2am and I'd played it completely through again. I may even go tackle some of those challenges! (The 10k ft continuous drop one sounds interesting, but how do you know if you've acheived it? Is there a congratulatory chime or do you just have to finish the game and see the accomplishments? Just curious.)

I would put a portal in a wall, then break down the wall from the other side, just to see what happens.

Chances are, a splinter of wood would then suck up the earth right down to the core.

Bongo Bill:
Don't worry about it. The amount of water that can pass through one of those portals at terminal velocity wouldn't even be enough to power your house (probably). Maybe if you had a really efficient set of turbines or something.

Ah, but who says we have to use water!

Picture a two-foot wide, 30-foot tall column made out of some extremely dense material. Build it with handles or projections sticking out the sides at regular intervals. Put it in a room with a 30-foot ceiling, then put one portal above the column and one portal underneath it. It'll fall forever, and the falling projections can turn a crank to provide power.

With the right engineering and something to keep it falling smoothly, the object could be much taller than 30 feet.

Man, I am such a nerd.

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