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What kind of NPC would you be?

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stevesan
Muckraker
Posts: 297
Joined: 31 Oct 2006

In GamersWithJobs' last podcast, they had a hilarious email question:

What if you were an NPC in a game? What kind of NPC would you be?

Amongst the answers were...the NPC you gotta escort...a vendor that sells bongs...the NPC that tells you his life story before giving you a lame-ass quest. Check out that podcast - it's hilarious as usual.

Personally, I'd love to be the Resident Evil 4 merchant. Just chillin' in my shack, somehow not getting killed while Leon is barely staying alive, with that awesomely chill music playing in the background.

ElArabDeMagnifico
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1797
Joined: 20 Dec 2007

*looks at avatar and username*

Yeah, I'm definitely going to get shot a lot...maybe I'll be some boss or something since I am El Arab "DE MAGNIFICO"....

aussiesniper
Beat Writer
Posts: 210
Joined: 20 Mar 2008

I would be one of the HL2 snipers, minus the inability to throw back grenades.

PurpleRain
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3353
Joined: 2 Dec 2007

Redshirt... yeap, definatly redshirt.

noolli
Copy Clerk
Posts: 61
Joined: 5 Feb 2008

i would be one of those static quest giving pri**s from world of warcraft. Even if no one wants to do my quests i can at least met up with some girl form Sweden. i do know someone who has married someone they met off WOW

Gavaroc
Copy Clerk
Posts: 101
Joined: 14 Apr 2008

I'd be one of those agonisingly annoying escort quest NPCs who runs away from every enemy without looking where I'm going. The only reason I don't do that anyway in online gaming is because of respawning. Three cheers for cowardice!

Omnidum
Press Junketeer
Posts: 392
Joined: 27 Mar 2008

I would be an assistant NPC that shoots in all the wrong directions.

Yan-Yan
Muckraker
Posts: 255
Joined: 13 Jan 2008

PurpleRain:
Redshirt... yeap, definatly redshirt.

Redshirts for life!
*high five*

"And Yan-Yan to complete the away mission."

Aw crap...

Gigantor
Genetically Different
Posts: 463
Joined: 26 Dec 2007

A lightgun game NPC:

*jumping out of a cupboard and waving arms frantically*
'DON'T SHOOT! PLEASE, DON'T SHOO- OW!'

MagnetoHydroDynamics
Beat Writer
Posts: 218
Joined: 14 Feb 2008

Some optional boss 10x stronger than last boss and you are requiered to do an annoying fetch quest to get a crystal, needed to be inseted at an altar to make some holy energy, to prevent me from fully recovering all my hp eatch turn.

Or ill just be one of those rare really useful companion characters.

sammyfreak
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1504
Joined: 5 Dec 2007

Gnoll Nr 49

Cryofthewolf
Paperboy
Posts: 25
Joined: 28 Feb 2008

I'd be one of the heads of the Mage's Guild. (In Obliivon, of course.) ;-)

RedSolitaire
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 17 Apr 2008

Id be the wingman that gets captured and needs rescuing every 2 missions or so.

And while being rescued, i would provide "witty" banter such as yelling "hey that was my kill!" while actually being miles away picking my nose.

phoenixguard
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

The Hyrule Castle Guard that forces you to start over in Ocarina of Time. Only there would be 50 more with me in the vicinity.

knumpify
Beat Writer
Posts: 133
Joined: 15 Feb 2008

i'd be a sword for hire, you know, one of the ones that helps you with the enemies, but randomly disappears when you enter a boss fight

Lvl 64 Klutz
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 682
Joined: 8 Apr 2008

I'd either be an NPC who starts a fetch quest where you have to fetch something for the person you have to fetch something for to get the thing you have to fetch for the person who has the thing you need to fetch for me...

...or an NPC walking down the street that you can't talk to, hurt, move, or interact with in any way whatsoever.

blaze96
Paperboy
Posts: 47
Joined: 9 Apr 2008

I'd be the NPC that is actually helpful in combat but I make characters hate me with my sarcastic you saved my life but I still hate you attitude.

Gildedtongue
Copy Clerk
Posts: 70
Joined: 9 Nov 2007
J-Val
Copy Clerk
Posts: 124
Joined: 7 Nov 2007

The scientist NPC who tries to warn you that they and their colleagues have accidentally unleashed zombies in the area, only to be killed mid-sentence by either an aforementioned zombie or a falling object.

Khell_Sennet
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2494
Joined: 25 Jan 2008

As an NPC I'd want to be a Mr Johnson for Ares Macrotech or Saeder Krupp in the Shadowrun 'verse.

NickCaligo42
Paperboy
Posts: 28
Joined: 7 Oct 2007

I have seven words for you.

"There are many guards at the castle."

Deathbird
Paperboy
Posts: 41
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

I'd be the buggy Npc that crashes your game :)

Akisohida
Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 17 Apr 2008

The shop owner who is slow-witted enough to let the hero steal from him but also has some sort of super-magic that kills the hero in the blink of an eye if he ever comes back. Yeah, the shopkeep from one of the Gameboy Zelda games.

..If he could kill Link in a heartbeat..why was he not 1) Out being the bloody hero or 2) Hired by the evil people? :P

Saskwach
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1582
Joined: 4 Nov 2007

I've never actually seen such an NPC, but I'd be the one that opposes everything suggested by the player because GODDAMN IT I hate to be "played".

stevesan
Muckraker
Posts: 297
Joined: 31 Oct 2006

Gigantor:
A lightgun game NPC:

*jumping out of a cupboard and waving arms frantically*
'DON'T SHOOT! PLEASE, DON'T SHOO- OW!'

HAHA some great replies here.

How about the G-Man? How great would that be. Walk around with my briefcase, doing random subtle things to help/fuck over the player, laughing and being creepy...teleporting, stopping time...

Palmetto13
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 11 Mar 2008

I'd live in a hidden cabin in the forest, and if you managed to find me and talk to me, all I would say is my name.

InsanityManifest
Copy Clerk
Posts: 65
Joined: 14 Nov 2007

Token black guy that dies saving the hero.

**cries**

Wazzelbe
Copy Clerk
Posts: 58
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

Hm... I'd WANT to be an important character to the plot who survives the whole story... but I'd probably be a nameless character in some Baldur's Gate expansion who says the same thing over and over.
Or a headcrab. I might be a headcrab.

rusty_cage
Paperboy
Posts: 34
Joined: 27 Mar 2008

Passed out drunk in a bar.

Or Homeless man passed out drunk in the ally.

Or Guard whom you get around by giving him booze so he can pass out drunk in the hallway.

Fondant
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 512
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

I'd be something like the Turks: officially working for the bad guys, but really just ambling around the world helping/hindering and wreaking havoc and chaos. Mercaneries.

Anarchemitis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2680
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

The guy that is doing the mission you're doing, 100 meters ahead of you, buying/bribing/stealing things to make sure you can only do this or that. I buy all the missile launcher ammo from that vendor guy so you have to kill someone else to get some. And I bribe doors so that they only open when you get the key, instead of just blowing a hole in them.

windfish
Beat Writer
Posts: 141
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Take this medkit!

Take this medkit!

...

Cover me, while I reload.

...

...

Take this medkit!

Gig_Complex
Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 8 Apr 2008

I'd be the male love interest who in the name of all that is cliched either get killed half way through the story or, and by or I mean most definitely, be taken hostage/prisoner by the big bad of the game and be converted to the side of evil to give the Heroine a choice between either killing me or attempting to persuade me back to the side of good with the power of love. Or I would be the party member that has for nearly the entirety of the story been working for the BBEG and proceeds to appear to betray the Hero/Heroine to him but really perform a heroic sacrifice at the last moment to save them. Or possibly be the voice in the head of the Hero/Heroine who attempts to bring them about to his way of looking while hitting on anything with two legs we come across.

The Franco
Beat Writer
Posts: 155
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

I want to be the vendor that buys fucking everything. Some broadsword you found? Check. Murloc eyes? Keep 'em coming. Your soul? ...well, why not. I don't really have a use for it, but since you're here I don't think you're getting much use out of it. But when you stop and think, that NPC is richer than anyone could ever dream to be...

Sylocat
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 505
Joined: 13 Nov 2007

I think I'd make a nifty Companion Cube.

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