Bwahahaha! I'm so glad I suck at first person shooters now that I've seen this:

http://gizmodo.com/5060687/scientists-find-gene-that-makes-you-good-at-halo-also-makes-you-a-premature-ejaculator

The comments made me fall out of my chair with laughter.

From the Article:

After a study of 200 Dutch men,

Wow. A whole 200 people? Glad to see they really went the extra mile with their survey.

And I've never been prouder to suck at FPSes. ;D

I don't believe in premature-ejaculation. I believe that when I open fire, it's right on time.

That said, I'm only an average FPS player. Also, Amnestic is right: 200 Dutch men? That's it?

This article says it weren't even 200 men, and about half of those were a "control group"

So glad I read the article before asking, "So whats P.E.?"

This thread will soon be dominated by people who way, "I suck at FPS games!" just to be cool.

That said, I suck at FPS games!

Interesting how science proves crazy things like that, huh?

somewhere, someone just made a Bawls being spilled joke

erm i own at FPS's and dont suffer from P.E so i guess i proved science wrong.

Not really a conclusive study so i dont think the survey proves anything other than some poor souls suffer from P.E and are good at FPS's

On more than one occasion I have simultaneously made it obvious that i can:
a) down three bosses in MC
b) down all of karazahn
c) get six headshots in a row in ut2k4
d) totally, completely, fully satisfy not only my partner but myself, too.

Hell, even thinking about how awesome I am at everything satisfies me.

Pills would probably just slow me down. So i guess my fps would suffer.

Let's not forget, these are Dutch people. I wouldn't even call them people, really.

Honestly, when was the last time you were playing on XBL and were stomped by some Dutch dude? It's never happened-- they're not good at video games, ever. And apparently, they're also bad at sex.

jamanticus:

Interesting how science proves crazy things like that, huh?

Did you read the article?

At least now I have something to blame it on :)

*Sets copy of Halo on fire*

Lies!!!! Seriously if this is true:
A) I'm not surprised.
B) Shit
C) So why is every single Johnny Pre-Pubescent crap at halo?
D) Maybe it's something about simply overcompensating by focusing elsewhere
E) Maybe gamers of that region are less healthy which affects ability.
F) Shit

HSIAMetalKing:

jamanticus:

Interesting how science proves crazy things like that, huh?

Did you read the article?

Yes I did..... What are you insinuating? Alright, I suppose I take back my statement that science proved it, but it's an interesting thing to think about, no?

YES!!! I'M SHITE AT HALO AND ALL OTHER FPSes!!!! *celebrates*

(seriously, I've never got through one without putting on at least 3 cheats, well except from Nightfire when I only used 2 lol)

Oh No! jamanticus was right!!!! *cries*

HSIAMetalKing:
Let's not forget, these are Dutch people. I wouldn't even call them people, really.

Honestly, when was the last time you were playing on XBL and were stomped by some Dutch dude? It's never happened-- they're not good at video games, ever. And apparently, they're also bad at sex.

All good Dutch gamers are smart enough to play PC games.

HSIAMetalKing:
Let's not forget, these are Dutch people. I wouldn't even call them people, really.

Is there someway I can put that quote in my signature? I love making fun of my Girlfriend's dutch heritage. It's a bonding experience.

Discussing my sexual prowess, or Halo "Skillz", seems pretty disingenuous in this context, but I will say this puts a friend of mine who is amazing at CounterStrike right in the sights of my "mocking beam" for awhile.

And really, isn't that what science is all about? Making an easier and more convenient modern society and helping me destroy a friend's self-esteem?

For some reason i am in doubt about your source.

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHA

allow me to repeat that.

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHA

That is all i have to say.

haha. Interesting, but there are so many other factors to consider here, that I'm sure sure they can prove a direct link.

100 people for control and 100 for test purposes? All of the same country? Not very reliable...at all.

Also, I'm good at both :D

Not sure how being good at satisfying yourself proves much, at least if you're male.

Males could generally get off by rubbing up against a wall, we're not exactly sophisticated creatures really.

I seem to remember the male good sex guide having all of 3 lines

1. In
2. Out
3. Repeat if necessary.

Really tho, isn't there far more to a good sex life than that?

So you're not some porn star level achiever on the basic in and out stuff, learn to please in other ways. It's just not all about that one act for women so much as it is for men. (Generalising hugely to make a point, but you get it).

Oh a little tip from past experience, you know how women say their number one thing they want in a man is a sense of humour?

Well, if you're in the process of oral sex, with her thighs around your head, its not a good time to test the theory.

Looking up and saying 'So how would I look with a moustache?' is the wrong thing, and did, ahem, could rather spoil the mood.

EDIT: looking back I realise I've made myself look even stranger than I usually do, but what the hell, at least I'm hopeless at counter strike.

This is most likely bull. You can make a study to 'prove' anything in the world, and if you've hired the right experts, you can say that 'studies show that X is true! Really!' even though it's not actually true.

Also I had roughly the same reaction as Ultrajoe did on viewing this thread. :P

This thread will start smelling like ejaculate soon.

Bah, Haloz is all I need.

Codgo:
This thread will start smelling like ejaculate soon.

it already does. No wait thats my keyboard...

What is this about being bad in bed?

I sleep fine.

Uncompetative:
What is this about being bad in bed?

I sleep fine.

LOL. This 'scientific proof' is going to upset a lot of Halo fanboys out there.

Reaperman Wompa:

F) Shit

what you're a native?

This study was probably done in Leiden and the whole of the country knows that they're just a bunch of wankers over there.

Linked over to BBC?
Where's the Dutch source on this?
Ah, looky here, apparently it was done in Utrecht. Well Leiden still sucks.
Full article is in the Journal of Sexual Medicine btw.

I'm an average gamer at best, what does that mean?
It means I can start crying.

HSIAMetalKing:
We got champion level Warcraft 3 and Racing game players.
Don't know much about FPS but we've been decent at CS and CoD.
On XBL you probably won't meet them unless you're in Europe due to ping hassles.

urprobablyright:

Reaperman Wompa:

F) Shit

what you're a native?

...I don't know what that is...

Caliostro:
100 people for control and 100 for test purposes? All of the same country? Not very reliable...at all.

The same small European country even.

BTW i just actually looked at that article (well, the title anyway) and i think that it is a VERY FUNNY joke that people would take anyone claiming a gene makes you good at halo 3 seriously. Even a gene that makes you good at gaming in general is a brilliant peice of comedy.

Maybe if there was something that incluenced hanf-eye co-ordination, or recall abilities, and it was that gene that took something away from your ability to focus fully on what's going on downstairs.

All i know is I don't have that gene:

I add this to my previous list of things i can do at once:
g) rub my belly counter-clockwise
h) rub my head clockwise
i) climb mount Kilimanjaro.

The study is just showing that there is a correlation between those that suffer from P.E. and the presence of the specific gene that affects a persons reflexes. Correlation is not proof. There for it is possible to have the reflexes of a mongoose and still be able to hold your load for the full ride. But still a funny topic for people to wast time making studies about. What ever happened to trying to cure aids, looks like every scientist just wants to make the next Viagra.

This makes me happy. Not only do I dislike FPS'es, I also have incredibly slow reflexes! Huaazah!

And, to repeat:
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Woah.... good thing i burned that cod4 copy! Seriously though, when did 200 dutch men become the standard for male stats?