EA announced earlier today that it is reaching a breakthrough using biometric devices (such as finger print and retina scanners) to protect their games from piracy. A spokesperson for the company says that they may have finally stumbled on the cure for piracy.

The biometric system being developed will involve both a biometric interface (probably a small pad that a player must press their thumb against) and an internet verification in the form of that found in their popular games Mass Effect and Spore.

"We feel that this will be a largely unobtrusive way for gamers to help us stamp out piracy" says the spokesperson. Piracy is a big problem in gaming these days, and many game publishers are scrambling for new and inventive ways to thwart it. "This new step in biometric DRM will really take a bite out of piracy online, that in turn will lead to lower prices in the store, as losses due to piracy cause us to have to charge more."

Most critics of EA have decried its past choices of using DRM, such as the now infamous SecuROM, in its software, but EA is steadfast in its practice. "We have to take a hard stand against piracy, they're not just stealing from us, they're stealing from the fans of good games, and we just can't allow that."

When asked if this new DRM would also inhibit rentals and resales of EA games, the spokesperson was tightlipped, leading this blogger to believe that these biometric changes would have a profound impact on video game stores such as Gamestop, and rental services such as Gamefly, whose use of pre-owned titles is the backbone of their profit.

Mark this date on your calendar folks - April 1st 2010. That is the date EA is planning to officially unveil their new system, to coincide with the release of an undisclosed game which a very large fanbase. "By the spring of '10, we'll should have a working product in place, and a distribution system for the new DRM. We're really excited about it."

that joke failed more than a joke thats failed quite badly :/

For some reason, I thought of System Shock 1 when you have to cut someone's head off and use it in a retinal scanner.

EA is way to hung up on piracy, basically they are giving pirates new challenges, making their games like bait, and pirates swarm to make pirate copies of them

so the fact that we get banned from our games if we be an idiot in the FORUMS... isn't stealing. Once again EA... I am going to kindly ask you to go FUCK YOURSELF

L.B. Jeffries:
For some reason, I thought of System Shock 1 when you have to cut someone's head off and use it in a retinal scanner.

Same... Along with a few other games.. and books. Like artemis fowl

Ah just realised..

Nice joke dude..

I was all like :O when I read this, and I had to post it here.

You need a source for the "press release" to have it come off as legitimate.

you evidently don't understand the overwhelming power of nerdrage to overlook such things.

EA WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS

I haven't bought software in ages; is this how its sold in retail stores nowadays?

snowplow:
I haven't bought software in ages; is this how its sold in retail stores nowadays?

sadly, yes.

With all the money they're spending on advanced retinal and finger print analysis software, they'd lose less just giving 50% of the copies of every game they print away for free.

Like any sane person is going to submit to a retinal scan or finger print to play Madden '10. I think the number of people looking for illegal copies is going to jump 400% if they were to go through with nonsense like this.

Wouldn't shock me. This is what happens when you transform into a juggernaut - you go mad with paranoia and start demanding law-abiding citizens expose their privacy so you can feel like you're actually stopping the handful of criminals constantly below your radar.

Next up: Google won't let you search without a piss test.

Delete this thread quick before the head honchos at EA see it and decide it's a great idea!!!!

smallharmlesskitten:
so the fact that we get banned from our games if we be an idiot in the FORUMS... isn't stealing. Once again EA... I am going to kindly ask you to go FUCK YOURSELF

Go read again its been confirmed that the C&C manager who said that screwed up its not true unless your forum behavior breaks the game's ToC and/or code of conduct as well as the forum's ToC and/or code of conduct.

You see i dont get all this hate on EA for their use of DRM. Yeah sure it inconveniences SOME customers and doesn't work as well against pirates as EA might have wanted it to. But EA's original plan wasn't " Hey let's f**k with our customers! " . And Spore's DRM actually works in a different way than other games' DRM my cousin installed and uninstalled his game 4 times and it still worked on his desktop etc. So uninstalling and installing doesn't count towards your installation count.
Some people do have legit reasons against EA's company policies but most people i see are simply going " Oh look everyone hates EA, i better join them ! "

To quote yahtzee " People were asking me why I didn't mention the DRM fiasco with Spore. Truth be told, I didn't actually know about this until someone told me the other day. I guess that goes to show just how hugely significant it is to the actual game experience. "
( www.fullyramblomatic.com )

If you paid for your own game the DRM doesnt really inconvenient you. Let me round off my argument this way. The pragmatist had problem with EA's DRM but in the end a real customer with his own original copy of Spore would not have a practical problem with the DRM.

Altorin:
you evidently don't understand the overwhelming power of nerdrage to overlook such things.

The sweet, sweet nectar of unbridled passion for things esoteric, eh?

Well, looks like you have been successful so far. =d Yummy.

That said, EA does have a track record that could support making this go from satirical to ironic in the future, much to our chagrin I bet.

Also, I wonder why you didn't use this tasty morsel another day, say a time known for its showers. Perhaps concerned another might beat you to the punch or that it would be expected?

Altorin:

"We have to take a hard stand against piracy, they're not just stealing from us, they're stealing from the fans of good games, and we just can't allow that."

No, they're just stealing from EA. EA is the one stealing from the fans.

As to the whole biometrics thing, get fucking bent. Biometric ID requirements on games, that crosses the line of what is acceptable to ask of the customer. It's like the nudescan security gates at the airports in the US, there is protecting your interests, and there's oppressing your customers.

And all you console gamers out there should be worried. Plan on the next gen systems having print scanners on the controllers, and limiting use of the console games to the registered owner, or any friends he/she has that have bought their own copy. All hail the death of the party game market.

nekolux:

You see i dont get all this hate on EA for their use of DRM. Yeah sure it inconveniences SOME customers and doesn't work as well against pirates as EA might have wanted it to.

you see they didn't create the DRM for spore to stop pirates thats just what they put out there as an excuse, they used DRM to stop people from trading in their games, then people buying those used games and EA doesn't get any profit from the sale, or so I've heard.

Hey now, Retinal scans are still really cool.

nekolux:
[quote="smallharmlesskitten" post="9.75573.873004"]my cousin installed and uninstalled his game 4 times and it still worked on his desktop etc. So uninstalling and installing doesn't count towards your installation count.

might be because it stores the SPORE .reg files on your computer, so installing it on your laptop or different HD, changing your OS etc... will kill it.

[begins tinfoil hattery]
As for article, if it really is real. I would go bat$^HT insane, no way anyone is getting my fingerprints/retna print
[/ends tinfoil hattery]

TheBluesader:

Next up: Google won't let you search without a piss test.

Classic

Is it wrong that I can picture EA actually doing something like this?

That was almost funny...almost. What EA and other companies need to realize is that DRM really only has an effect on their paying customers. The pirates will always find a way to break, crack, or circumvent any DRM scheme they put in place. Hell, a lot of pirates do it just as a challenge, they break the DRM because it's there.

What they should do is just follow what Stardock is doing, totally DRM-free games. Stardock's games sell quite well despite the fact that they have no DRM on them. Maybe it's because they spend the extra money they'd use for DRM schemes on developing their games and provide a great product that people will happily drop their money on.

clicklick:

TheBluesader:

Next up: Google won't let you search without a piss test.

Classic

Hey, Gmail already has that anti-drunk email filter up and running. I mean, it's only to help us out, so I guess that's okay.

For the moment.

My big question was who is gonna pay for these devices? Are they gonna come packed with the games? Will we have to go buy our own?

It's a joke, but they don't even have to go that far to implement something that would do about 90% of the job of biometric DRM: give each disc an individual key, and when you pop the disc in and download the patch--there's always a patch these days, usually for a bug that actually breaks the game, so you have no choice--it 'tethers' your unique console ID to the unique game disc ID, and the disc won't play in any other console.

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/11/12/new-sony-lockware-pr.html

In other words, making your game disc no more transferable than the downloaded content on your console's storage solution (hard drive for everyone but Wii owners)

Cheeze_Pavilion:
It's a joke, but they don't even have to go that far to implement something that would do about 90% of the job of biometric DRM: give each disc an individual key, and when you pop the disc in and download the patch--there's always a patch these days, usually for a bug that actually breaks the game, so you have no choice--it 'tethers' your unique console ID to the unique game disc ID, and the disc won't play in any other console.

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/11/12/new-sony-lockware-pr.html

In other words, making your game disc no more transferable than the downloaded content on your console's storage solution (hard drive for everyone but Wii owners)

The big problem with this is we aren't guaranteed to keep the PC or console we are using now. We upgrade our PCs all the time. Consoles break all the time. So then we'd be left with coasters. I just got a new 360 cuz mine finally kicked it and what a pain in the ass switching everything over. You'd think it would be a simple matter of throwing in the HDD but nope. Gotta redownload every arcade game and theme you ever got (if you want to use them).