Okay, I'll admit it. I've never really "gotten" the online multiplayer phenomenon. Except for split-screen drunk gaming and Guitar Hero/Rock Band, gaming has always been a solitary experience for me.

[trust me, this post has a point -- scroll down to the bottom if you just want the, er, bottom line.]

I've had an Xbox live account for 2 years now, but I've never actually enjoyed online play, because:

1) people are assholes

2) Everyone else is really, really good.

Now, I'm not a lousy gamer. I can beat Gears of War on Hardcore, and GoW 2 on Insane (they gimped the difficulty, in case you haven't played it). But until now, the games i've tried are based on pure hand-eye coordination and knowing the "tricks" of the system. For a newcomer, that means getting headshotted/torque-bow'd/plasma-'nade-stuck over and over until my skills develop to the freakish Luke Skywalker level of everyone else.

And given the choice, I've always gone for a rich story-based single player experience instead.

But, bless my naive little heart, I bought Left 4 Dead. First, it was a game from Valve, whose Team Fortress 2 is the only competitive multiplayer game I've actually enjoyed (I think I logged a whole 10 hours before moving on to something else). Second, the demo and reviews led me to believe it was uniquely centered on intense, tight cooperation as a fundamental requirement for success.

Also, I LOVE anything having to do with zombies. Except all the Resident Evil games between RE2 and RE4 (and that's not just RE3, there's Outbreak, Code Veronica, and a bunch of other shit I didn't pay attention to).

The HELL of it is, the game delivers on that promise. It's not a thinking man's shooter -- it's a cooperating man's shooter.

I'm not talking about Guild-level cooperation, like those dudes who band together and discuss tactics for their CS/COD/Battlefield engagements and execute their plans with military precision. To me, that's not gaming -- that's a job. Or a creepily involved hobby, on the level of Civil War re-enactment, or WoW.

I'm talking about primally simple game design so that any person with a moderately functioning brain can jump right in, grasp the basic mechanics, and immediately understand what it takes to win. Yes, reflexes and headshot skill matter, but not nearly as much as the ability to resist the impulse to stray more than 40 feet from your team. And everything about it -- the silky-smooth frame rate (I'm playing it on 360), the detailed-enough graphics, the deliciously crunchy noise you hear when you smack a zombie with a rifle butt -- makes my deep-down lizard-brain sing with joy.

SO. I'm saying the game handles problem number 2 (see the top of this post) -- you don't have to be Hawkeye to succeed at the game. You just need moderate skill, decent intelligence, and the willingness to cooperate. Which is TRULY FANTASTIC.

Unfortunately, not even Valve have thought of a compelling solution for problem number 1.

I got the game on Thursday and spent a couple hours playing the first two campaigns offline. And they weren't much fun. It felt kind of like Tetris, but without the simplicity -- pick the best place to stand and kill the zombies rushing at you, then do it over and over and over again.

Satisfied I had the base mechanics down, I went online. My first three partners were a trio of screeching pre-adolescents -- the irritating stereotype popularized by Halo 2 (well, aside from backwards-cap-wearing, "bro"-saying frat boys). It totally sucked.

I'll spare you the litany of assholes that followed. I picked out some basic types, though:

1) the prepubescent boy, more fixated on how fun it is to say "fag" and "bitch" and "fuck" than on enjoying the game qua game.

2) The totally inept, but well meaning, person. I have a lot of sympathy for these dudes (and, disproportionately, gals) but let's be honest. The game is not fun if your teammates shoot you more than they shoot the zombies.

3) Those without a microphone. Why?!

SO HERE'S THE POINT OF THIS POST:

Ideally, every time I sat down to play this game, I'd be joining a session with three trusted friends, and it would be awesome. But none of my friends who game have purchased this yet, and being a professional adult who freelances for The Escapist in my spare time, I have few friends who actually game on a day-to-day basis.

SO. My gamer tag is

go play outside

Ain't it just so brilliantly ironic? Add me. Let's kill some fucking zombies.

Oh dear, I was never really sure whether mics on the 360 were a blessing or a curse. I have a playstation and it seems the people who decided to actually make the purchase of a headset did it for the sole reason of breathing heavily down it all of the time.

If I had an Xbox i'd join you, and I should get one next pay day since they're so damn cheap. I can't imagine playing Left 4 Dead on my own. Is it possible to play up to 4 player split screen?

All I can say is: get it on the PC.

No, I'm not trolling, I assure you there's a point to this.

It's just the PC demographic is generally older and slightly more mature. This doesn't mean we don't get our quota of assholes, but to exemplify I spent around 10 hours with the L4D demo and while I did catch a few groups where I just logged off, the majority of the experiences were enjoyable.

Either way, the best you can do is play... Yeah, I'm aware of the irony... But the more you play the more you find and befriend people who aren't complete dipshits and who are enjoyable to play with. People who know which side of the gun does the shooting but aren't elitist enough to berate a newbie for not pulling 50 headshots out of 60 slugs fired. Unfortunately, and this is still true in the PC gaming community (although, in my experience, less so than on the consoles): Majority of people are assholes. The good thing is, when you DO find that group of people you can play with, these kind of games end up having endless longevity.

Its a game to be played with friends, not random xbl assholes.

i agree with Caliostro and i too didnt get it for 360...

but in all the campaign experiences everyone ive grouped up with has been nice, friendly and used great teamwork, altho i have found some annoying people on vs, but i spose u cant avoid them all

and i now what kind of idiots u get on 360, it must be horrible

Michael A. Mohammed:
Okay, I'll admit it. I've never really "gotten" the online multiplayer phenomenon.

Well that about raps up your opinions on the subject. Every FPS game that comes out, you always get it on PC. Jesus man this is STEAM, they are a PC platform that just ports to consoles for money.

But I mean come on "Play Outside"? That with your quote hand and hand just make me face palm this thread.

I'd love to, but... another PC user here. The best advice really has been given, keep at it until you find some good people.

Either that or force your mates to get it at gun point.

Although, we do have XBlers on here, so you may get lucky. Fingers crossed for that option.

I'll join you friend. Dependant if my console is still where I left it when I get home. I would have bought it for PC, but all my friends have 360's...

Richard Groovy Pants:
Valve should never have released it for the xbox, it only drags their company name down.

This whole hating on Xbox live is starting to be quite annoying. I mean, I don't care if you hate it with such a passion, but do you really have to post this shit every time?

SirSchmoopy:
But I mean come on "Play Outside"? That with your quote hand and hand just make me face palm this thread.

cough...I think that's his actual gamertag...? Player "go play outside"... Ya know, like people that name themselves "nobody" so it shows up "you have killed nobody".

Or I'm stupid... Also possible.

Richard Groovy Pants:
Valve should never have released it for the xbox, it only drags their company name down.

Hardly, young troll, for Valve openly admit they hate porting to consoles.

I'm assuming since you bought the 360 version, (the shitty version) that your friends own 360's. You should be playing with them instead of random assholes. The reason you're not having fun is because you're not doing it right.

Edit: When you pick up the pc version come on steam (as you should have originally you dirty dirty console gamer) come do a few runs with me and some of the other escapist guys. We have shitloads of fun.

You know.. I was playing on a versus map yesterday, I was a survivor. When we all got our faces ate, and were switching, the statistics came up, and I did the most dmg to the survivors.
I loled. ;)

Btw, Shotgun is awesome in L4D, the only issue is, you have to be INFRONT of your team, the shotgun works like a 'real' shot gun in that it actually kills people. But its also got a slightly skewed 'cone' dmg range. Meaning if your behind your 'team', more often then not, your shotgun will hit everything in front of you... Of course, your team 90% of the time wants to all be the 'leaders', so you have to almost 'rush' infront of them, leading to getting raped... With no lube.

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comics/20081121.jpg

SirSchmoopy:

But I mean come on "Play Outside"? That with your quote hand and hand just make me face palm this thread.

HAHA -- that's the point of the name -- to be confusing and paradoxical.

Mike

Richard Groovy Pants:
Valve should never have released it for the xbox, it only drags their company name down.

That strikes me as kind of a dumb thing to say. The game itself is very well crafted on 360. Are you saying that every company that releases a multiplayer game on 360 is dragging their name down?

Caliostro:

SirSchmoopy:
But I mean come on "Play Outside"? That with your quote hand and hand just make me face palm this thread.

cough...I think that's his actual gamertag...? Player "go play outside"... Ya know, like people that name themselves "nobody" so it shows up "you have killed nobody".

Or I'm stupid... Also possible.

Yup, you're correct. "Go play outside" is my actual gamertag.

Richard Groovy Pants:

Theo Samaritan:

Richard Groovy Pants:
Valve should never have released it for the xbox, it only drags their company name down.

Hardly, young troll, for Valve openly admit they hate porting to consoles.

You mean the ps3 business huh? Well that was over a year ago.
And how does that have anything to do with it? I was referring to the fact that cases such as these drag their company name down. If the multiplayer is friendly than no one will denounce it on being 'irritating' , hence you'll think that the company attracts the right crowd of gamers unlike other big name games.

Well, I don't know where you have been for the last few years but it is generally accepted that LIVE is the problem rather than individual games, so it being online will make no more damage to their name than any other LIVE game.

If anything it will make less damage, as while the PS3 business was over a year ago, they still hate porting to any console. They have a large PC community and that is who their chief concern is. Thus they design games that entice PC gamers without much of a shit given to the consoles and as such their name wont have much done to it at all.

Solution: Buy valve games on PC.

Even L4D runs fine on my 4 year old machine, no frame rate drops. It probably doesn't look quite as good as the console version but it's hardly ugly. It cost nearly half as much and makes use of Steam Friends lists. Meaning you never have to put up with arse wipes once you've found a trustworthy group. You'll get all the updates and you'll get them free. Also L4D was out on steam five days before it was out on console in the UK.
You don't have to pay a subscription to play it.

I realise it's a bit late now for L4D. But for whatever games Valve bring out in the future it never hurts to remember they are a PC developer/publisher first. Using their products on a console is not what they have in mind during design.

Well, I've got it for 360 because being a college student I don't have the luxury of being able to drop a few thousand dollars on a gaming PC, and my ancient laptop can't handle any of these new games.

So if you're looking for somebody mature to slaughter zombies with, then throw me a friend request.

Gamer Tag is Jobz007

Ya know, they tried to counter the "assholery" with Versus mode. Versus mode was supposed to be a griefers paradise (and it is) - but they will want to do more than play versus.

How many different assholes did you discover before giving up hope?

Decoy Doctorpus:
I'm assuming since you bought the 360 version, (the shitty version) that your friends own 360's. You should be playing with them instead of random assholes. The reason you're not having fun is because you're not doing it right.

Edit: When you pick up the pc version come on steam (as you should have originally you dirty dirty console gamer) come do a few runs with me and some of the other escapist guys. We have shitloads of fun.

I assume you see your post count as a licence to spout any bollocks you feel necessary. You've really pissed me off with that ignorant post. Everyone sees PC gamers as Gaming Gods. Well, they're not. Stop deluding yourself with that bullshit and I don't care if you even had a note of sarcasm in your voice. Joking about it has gotten me to the point of exploding on people. I play consoles on EVERY system; I have a good rig, a PS3, 360 and a Wii. I worked fucking hard to be able to afford it. Then people come along and ridicule what I put my sweat and blood into. Well, fuck you and all you stand for.

Fellow gamers are supposed to be supportive to each other; we are a community with a common interest. And yet we are so childish that we feel we have to make everything seem worse than what it really is. It's not hard to NOT hate things; other systems don't just exist to taunt the "opposition." Why is there this stupid war between the systems anyway? It's ridiculous and it undermines us as people. This is what the Yahtzee way of thinking has done to you. There is no reason to hate everything. You just fucking do.

lol Crap_haT, you have just been waiting for an opportunity to explode haven't you?

Then people come along and ridicule what I put my sweat and blood into. Well, fuck you and all you stand for.

srs bsns.

All Decoy said was that the 360 version is the shittier version.

I completely agree with Crap_haT. There are tons of things people hate about the console, or PC, but the point is that in the end aren't they all the same? They play games, and entertain us which is what its for. Each one has its use, and it's quite stupid to hate on one WITHOUT thinking about why they might have done it in the first place.

Richard Groovy Pants, I'm sure your opinions are justified to yourself, but I find them quite shallow. The 360 version of L4D supports split screen, while the PC does not. Suppose you have three friends over, are you going to share the PC among you? I think not. The release of a console has made it easier to play games with friends who are physically there, as opposed to the PC which is generally only online play or local servers, which are lets admit quite a pain to set up.

Many of the greatest games ever made (well to me) have been released on consoles as well as PC's, such as Ocarina of Time, Super Mario World 3, and Halo (well I think so :P)
Also, many games released on both the PC and 360 generally play better on the 360 to me as well. A few examples would be Oblivion, Halo 1 and 2, and Assassins Creed.

The point is that it is completely useless hating on consoles OR PC's simply because of the fact that there IS no better one. The console wars are going to emerge without a victor, and the PC is NOT and I repeat NOT the best method of gaming out there. Valve doesn't wear themselves down by releasing on consoles, they simply show that they care. Just because the PC version receives more updates does not make it better in any way. In fact, if the xbox version also had updates and new weapons, I believe I would play it there more.

So in the end, it is pointless hating on any of the aspects of gaming really. Online play will always have griefing jackasses, as well as friendly and skillful teammates. One game on the PC will always play better then the Xbox version, and vice versa. Video games are meant to be enjoyed, not hated on, and although I doubt everyone will ever fully grasp that concept themselves, those who do will always have a slightly happier life methinks.

Let me sum this up for you nice and simple like. How long do you think you can keep running the same map over and over? Seriously? How long? A month? Two months? Eventually you'll get sick of it and then what? Game over. That's what. 360 users are still waiting for TF2 content released on the PC nearly a year ago. L4D will live or die depending on Valve's continued support and, and this one is important, user made content. Every source map can easily be converted into an L4D map giving PC users hundreds, if not thousands, of potential maps to choose from. Until the 360 version can match that it's the shitty version.

Richard Groovy Pants:

I love the fact that you didn't even contested what he said, you just went ahead and started a rant about love and other hippie crap.
Also what war? There might be a war between the Xbox and the PS3 but the PC is miles ahead of those platforms, it just stands there lingering above their heads just like the dreadnought it is.

He meant the 'shitty version' because it is.
The graphics aren't as good, there's auto-aim, no mods, and the game was designed for the PC first and for the console second.
The community you find on the Xbox Live IS worse than the one you'd find on the PC, statistically the average PC gamer is older than the console gamer and age equals maturity. In most cases.

You have a point. And yes, I wanted to vent some anger. And I feel better that it's off my chest. However, I don't play it for the mods, nor the graphics. I play it to have fun with my friends, so in that aspect, I see the Xbox version as superious. Because I have few freinds with reliable PC's. If you game for anyother reason than to have fun with friends or yourself, then there is something very wrong.

Also, hippie crap? No, I just get annoyed when people have no reason to be angry, other than to be angry. I get angry for a reason. Not just to look cool. I did go off into a load of [edit] not, it's not bollocks, they're valid points [Edit] In the second paragraph.

Oh yeah, and there is almost no point in arguing with you about your point on the PC. Because you are obviously going to stand by your point to the end. So you have fun with your PC, the unsocial system that does have it's benifits, but just isn't fun.

"The community you find on the Xbox Live IS worse than the one you'd find on the PC, statistically the average PC gamer is older than the console gamer and age equals maturity"

Who cares? The mute button was invented for a reason. Do you have any idea how many 12 year old kids I have pissed off on Garrys mod or TF2 for PC? The fact is, that no matter where you go, children are bound to follow. They will always be there ruining matches, it streches across all platforms. Something you have to get used to.

Also, your point about graphics. How shallow are you? It's not ugly, by any strech of the imagination. It's still tense, and I still enjoy it with friends. I'm happy with what I have. If things do get bad, I may think about purchasing it from steam, but that prevents me from playing it with my friends. And where is the fun in that?

Decoy Doctorpus:
Let me sum this up for you nice and simple like. How long do you think you can keep running the same map over and over? Seriously? How long? A month? Two months? Eventually you'll get sick of it and then what? Game over. That's what. 360 users are still waiting for TF2 content released on the PC nearly a year ago. L4D will live or die depending on Valve's continued support and, and this one is important, user made content. Every source map can easily be converted into an L4D map giving PC users hundreds, if not thousands, of potential maps to choose from. Until the 360 version can match that it's the shitty version.

You make an extremely valid point, and I had not thought of it myself.

However, although you are completely correct in that aspect does that really make the 360 version the "shitty" version? I have played dustbowl too many times to count on the xbox version, simply because it never got boring for me, and that as long as I'm playing it with friends I enjoy myself while playing. On CSS I usually use new skins, but always play on my favorite maps, Office and De_Dust 2.

The ability to create new maps and skins is an attribute reserved for the PC, but why call the xbox version shit for it? I believe you miss the point that I'm trying to make. I am simply stating, why call the Xbox version shit and piss people off? You could say that it has less versatility then the PC version, or that the amount of content that will be released on it will be reletively less, but that is no reason to go off making accusations that the Xbox screws it up.

I believe that the power to create new content is an overused argument, as it simply states an aspect of gaming not available to consoles. I have played many games over and over, because they are fun, even if repetetive. However, I will not call a gaming console or a PC shit because they don't have something the other has. To me that's like saying that a kid who has money and a fun game is cooler then the kid with just the fun game, just because the kid with money can buy new props for his game, and whatnot.

In the end, why use downright non-reasoning words to describe a game that may be a bit more flawed then the other? The terms "This game sucks" or "The console version is shit" are weak to me. Constructive criticism is always met with more positive remarks, and can turn a flaming session into a fun and thoughtful conversation about games.

I think that people who say those things could be labeled as the "assholes" one sees one xbox live and Steam, because you do the same thing they do. Give no reason for your attitude, rant on and on about your opinion without hearing the others, or simply ignoring obvious evidence. I am not labeling any of you this sort of person, merely stating my opinion the way I see fit.

Richard Groovy Pants:

I'd just like to stress this out.
The game is criminally short and while fun, playing the same 6(?) levels over and over and over and over again will eventually get boring.
User created content is the sole reason why it's not going to stale on the PC's, there are still mods of Half-Life 2 being made.

The Xbox is the lesser version of the two. It just is for Athena's sake. It's life span is ridiculously short. And while bringing up the friends argument is a good way to divert the point you can't really use it. Other people might have more friends on the Internet. If you have more friends on the Xbox Live well that's fine and dandy (YES I SAID DANDY) for you. But don't apply it to other people.

I'm not diverting the point. I am relating this to myself and literally everyone I know personally, over the internet and in real life. They all agree that they have more friends on Xbox to that of the PC. If you have more friends on the PC, by all means, go for it. But don't undermine the ones who have to settle with or prefure the 360 version. Because there is no reason for it. Other than to make yourself fell better about the buy you made. Which would make you a dick. That's the hypothetical you. Not you personally.

We at the escapist have been playing it on expert regularly. I need to get into Doctorpus's next game, i'm getting pretty goddamned good with the rifle.

Turtleboy1017:

You make an extremely valid point, and I had not thought of it myself.

However, although you are completely correct in that aspect does that really make the 360 version the "shitty" version? I have played dustbowl too many times to count on the xbox version, simply because it never got boring for me, and that as long as I'm playing it with friends I enjoy myself while playing. On CSS I usually use new skins, but always play on my favorite maps, Office and De_Dust 2.

The ability to create new maps and skins is an attribute reserved for the PC, but why call the xbox version shit for it? I believe you miss the point that I'm trying to make. I am simply stating, why call the Xbox version shit and piss people off? You could say that it has less versatility then the PC version, or that the amount of content that will be released on it will be reletively less, but that is no reason to go off making accusations that the Xbox screws it up.

I believe that the power to create new content is an overused argument, as it simply states an aspect of gaming not available to consoles. I have played many games over and over, because they are fun, even if repetetive. However, I will not call a gaming console or a PC shit because they don't have something the other has. To me that's like saying that a kid who has money and a fun game is cooler then the kid with just the fun game, just because the kid with money can buy new props for his game, and whatnot.

In the end, why use downright non-reasoning words to describe a game that may be a bit more flawed then the other? The terms "This game sucks" or "The console version is shit" are weak to me. Constructive criticism is always met with more positive remarks, and can turn a flaming session into a fun and thoughtful conversation about games.

I think that people who say those things could be labeled as the "assholes" one sees one xbox live and Steam, because you do the same thing they do. Give no reason for your attitude, rant on and on about your opinion without hearing the others, or simply ignoring obvious evidence. I am not labeling any of you this sort of person, merely stating my opinion the way I see fit.

While you do make valid points do you really think it's reasonable to have to tip toe around people because they're that emotionally invested in their consoles?