It's getting close to Christmas, and it's that time of year where we all feel like we need someone warm to curl up next to in bed. The problem is, if you're like me, you're wondering "Can I find a woman who will satisfy my desire to play left 4 dead until the Yule logs burn low, snow blocks the exits to your home, and you're forced to call work to say you're not going to be in until the spring thaw?

SinSeared at Gametrailers has a very important question about finding that special someone.

The other 1% are coming over to your house to castrate you as we speak

That's indeed a puzzling question Mr. Seared. Let's see what the internet has to say.

To be fair, Spartan_385 lives in Rapunzel's tower.

Spartan_385 at Gamespot has an interesting theory. Women do indeed brush their hair a lot. I've never seen a woman do anything else, that I can remember.

Question answered! Our second question comes from Sizematterzz at Gamespot:

Well Size, I'll let a gamer girl answer this for you.

Her name was originally Ninten dog IRL, but spaces weren't allowed.

Madame, your voice is heard! Hopefully your words of wisdom will resound throughout the entire internet.

Well, maybe not the entire internet... Perhaps one person?

McNutsack has a healthy imagination.

McNutsack has heard you and has a good perspective on real Girl Gamers. He's not afraid to embellish to make his point either!

So what have we learned this week?
99% of the women gamers are ugly. 100% of male forum goers have an IQ in the single digits.

Hair is the most important thing to women.

Nilcypher is a misanthrope who secretly hates all of you.

Well this one made me cringe more than laugh.
The fact that people seriously have these opinions is quite shocking. Kudos to the voices of reason here though.

And thats why all other forums suck.

And i do agree with NintendoDog456, all girls are pretty (in some way)

First comment from SinSeared is harsh.
I'm pretty sure he won't be seeing any more gamer girls now they've blocked him lol.

The only gamer girls I've talked too really were on mmos and they turned out to be pretty irl.

i've never understood this fascination with 'girl gamers'

I don't care if the person who's head I just stomped is a guy or a girl. to me, they're just another point.

Hahaha @Nilcypher. Also, I wouldn't say I'm in the category of "all of you," seeing as I avoid topics about girl gamers like the plague. Both because of male chauvinists and the rare girls who always seem to find their way onto those topics just to say, "I'm a sexy bi-curious 15 year old gaming girl, but I don't want your attention! Did I mention I was bi-curious? Or that I'm totally hawt?"

Surprised you didn't find any of those types of posts.

superbleeder12:
i've never understood this fascination with 'girl gamers'

I don't care if the person who's head I just stomped is a guy or a girl. to me, they're just another point.

You seem to have missed the point.

Lvl 64 Klutz:
"I'm a sexy bi-curious 15 year old gaming girl, but I don't want your attention! Did I mention I was bi-curious? Or that I'm totally hawt?"

Surprised you didn't find any of those types of posts.

Actually I did find a few of those. Gametrailers had one which turned into a "I'm sexy hawt, see you're wrong." but it turned into some sort of "prove it" which is the Internet's way of shouting "show us your mammary glands!"

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've found gamer girls run the gamut. To be incredibly shallow for a moment, I know a ton of gamer girls who are very good looking! Not that I share the outlook of some of the very pants-on-head retards from the post screenshots, but there is a certain degree to which physical appearance can determine attractiveness - and as a rule, a lot of the gamer girls I know sit handsomely in the pretty seat.

When you compare the gamer girls I know to the gamer guys I know, the gals win in the hygene and cleanliness arenas, hands-down.

My one complaint about girls who are dedicated or hardcore enough to call themselves "gamers" or take on a gamer lifestyle are all taken, engaged, and married within, like, six months to a year of me meeting them! Maybe that's why a lot of the gamer guys are frustrated and fascinated - a lot of gamer guys are immature and looking for the next relationship, the next bang, just like they're looking for the next random matchup in HALO 3 to pwn some face. They can't get a girl because any girl who's more complex than tits and ass is already gone or too good for them. :P

(Take that, society!)

superbleeder12:
i've never understood this fascination with 'girl gamers'

I don't care if the person who's head I just stomped is a guy or a girl. to me, they're just another point.

No, no. We don't care if the gamers are girls; we just want the girls to be gamers. Do you capture the difference?

And the reason most gamers say that most gamer girls are ugly (regardless of how many digits there may or may not be in their IQ) is because they have unrealistic standarts. They only think a girl is hot if she's the kind of girl that causes traffic accidents just by walking out on the street and would have a brilliant career in the porn movie industry. That's less than 1% of all girls, so of course it's less than 1% of girls who like games. I bet it's less than 1% of girls who like cooking or wrestling or cars or buying shoes or bungee jumping or whatever.

And I'd venture a guess that the reason most "hardcore" gamer girls are fugly is the same reason most "hardcore" gamer guys are fugly, because they just don't care what they look like. If you spend all day on videogames and/or your computer and refuse the leave the house unless strictly necessary you won't be getting any prettier (and that's pretty much the definition hardcore gamers have of themselves).

I know several girls (most of them on the internet, true, o lol) who like videogames and they are all over the beautiful spectrum, just like girls who don't like videogames. The problem is that those guys want a Gisele Bund...sch...em (Um, let me try someone with an easier to spell name) those guys want a Naomi Campbell (good) who also know everything about Starcraft units/WoW items/Magic cards/whatever. I'd much rather have a modestly cute girl who was moderately interested in videogame than one who was in either extreme.

(And alas, I have no girlfriend, and those guys will probably get one with surprising ease before they're in their late twenties. O, life, thou art not fair.)

Ranooth:
And thats why all other forums suck.

And i do agree with NintendoDog456, all girls are pretty (in some way)

Agreed, usually it takes an abrasive or unpleasant personality and poor hygene to make someone unattractive to me. Though I CANNOT find women who don't have chins attractive, I'm sorry, it's just a thing... if it's any consolation, I find chinless men equally weird looking. (I don't mean fat, I mean literally chinless)

But Nilcypher said he loved me. Well not in those words. Fine not in any words, but he lead me on damn it!

Wilson:
100% of male forum goers have an IQ in the single digits.

Wouldn't that mean you too have an IQ in the single digits? I always knew deep down.

Wait this is unfair to find morons and ridiculous views you used the internet.
That is the definition of cheating.

bad rider:
Wait this is unfair to find morons and ridiculous views you used the internet.
That is the definition of cheating.

The internet is the place where people can voice their opinions without being known.
I know plenty of idiots that voice it irl, but add those that keep themselves from doing that and you have...
Yes, a majority. Stupidity, the rising force!

As for girl gamers, I can say the ones I've met are half-half. Some looked pretty good, some didn't. Don't know any hardcore ones though. :P

I always find this discussion amusing.

It was a woman (one of my dad's work friends) who bought me my first Magic: the Gathering cards. Later, she was the one who introduced me to Everquest (Though I never played that again, due to subscription costs).

One of my friends growing up was a girl who not only gamed, she was better at it than me (Then again, she had a year head start). Her mother was the one that brought my family to the Renaissance Faire the first time.

Now, in college, my gaming group (D&D, not video games, but oh well) consists of no fewer than 3 couples, which account for 2/3 of the group (3 other guys).

And my first time at a convention, the game I ran (D&D again) had 5 females at the table, and only 4 males.

As for how they looked, I've listed 10 here, and of the ones of my age (6: three in the current group, 2 at my first game, plus childhood friend), I can comfortably say that I was/am interested in all of them (though the three in my group are hands-off: something about their boyfriends being able to seriously injure me...), and asked out the childhood friend (though waited long enough that she already had a boyfriend).

Which is not to say they're knockouts, but they aren't unattractive either. I've met more beautiful/hotter/whatever your standard of female beauty is girls/women, but I've also met less (whatever) ones too.

...Well thank you Internet, thank you for reminding me that I'm a mannish social reject who spends all her time drawing fairies, I chose tutors over public school so I could get away from that lonely lifestyle. ;_____;

I don't care which gender plays games or looks better, but I wish people would stop picking on the gender which, in their opinion, sucks more at games/is as ugly as sin, which always seems to be girls. Woe is me and such.

The Random One:

superbleeder12:
i've never understood this fascination with 'girl gamers'

I don't care if the person who's head I just stomped is a guy or a girl. to me, they're just another point.

No, no. We don't care if the gamers are girls; we just want the girls to be gamers. Do you capture the difference?[sic]

Yes, I understand the difference. But my thinking is, just because one gamer is male or female, shouldn't make any difference. One shouldn't get any special treatment because of race, sex, color, religion or creed.

And I just generally feel bad for the guys who think they'll meet someone over call of duty or whatever. The internet is really a sad place.

I find it slightly interesting that every single discussion about female gamers inevitably boils down into "girl gamers get treated differently because they are girls."

What if I just want to talk about girl gamers as a social phenomenon and a potential exposition on how games, like everything else in life requiring an opinion, can appeal to either gender equally, and, despite society's stereotypes, girls can find the same enjoyable qualities men can due to games being an art form - therefore implying that games can dramatically differ not only between the sexes but also between cultures, demographics, and moralities?

What if this post is just a shameless attempt to make me appear more mature and sympathetic to the plight of female gamers in order to encourage them to think of my as a potential non-misogynistic companion?

Don't pay attention to these simpletons it only gives them power.
If we stop believing they exist they might go away.

Also maybe if we don't let them breed there won't be more of them in the next generation; Given their misogynistic nature they probably won't be doing that anyway

Takatchi:
I find it slightly interesting that every single discussion about female gamers inevitably boils down into "girl gamers get treated differently because they are girls."

What if I just want to talk about girl gamers as a social phenomenon and a potential exposition on how games, like everything else in life requiring an opinion, can appeal to either gender equally, and, despite society's stereotypes, girls can find the same enjoyable qualities men can due to games being an art form - therefore implying that games can dramatically differ not only between the sexes but also between cultures, demographics, and moralities?

What if this post is just a shameless attempt to make me appear more mature and sympathetic to the plight of female gamers in order to encourage them to think of my as a potential non-misogynistic companion?

I'd certainly complement you on the intricate formulation of the post.
As far as different treatments go, I'd say only the desperate actually care.
Then there's those who are adepts of the "Jolly Fat Man" theory.

Takatchi:
I find it slightly interesting that every single discussion about female gamers inevitably boils down into "girl gamers get treated differently because they are girls."

I got the impression it mostly boils down to "girl gamers are rare because the anonimity allowed on the internet causes the retards to harass them whenever they appear".
Though I thought that way before the flood of recent threads, so maybe i'm only reading half of what's said :P

Anyone with a World's End Girlfriend avatar has a valid opinion by default.

Congratulations, McNutsack.

Wow, I've never been hated before.
Is it supposed to feel awesome?

Before I ripped my headphones out, stomped on them and burned them before a pagan altar as an offering to some dark god or another in return for a little peace and quiet from the onslaught of idiocy coming through the XBL airways, I completely understood why girl gamers would want to remain anonymous and silent.

Imagine you wanted to play a video game but had a following of 15 year old boys giggling at the notion of talking to an actual female without her being able to escape without leaving the game altogether. The big difference is, I don't usually have an army of underage twerps begging me to send hot and illustrious photos of myself. Come to think of it, that's a horribly disturbing thought.

As far as guys who admire girl gamers because they already have a hobby in common, it's a noble goal, but good luck drawing the decent ones out of hiding. You'll have to abandon the traditional flowers and chocolates for some Warez and hardware upgrades.

@anarchemitis - It's an acquired taste. You'll grow to love it.

Dude, rule 16......

wilsonscrazybed:
Nilcypher is a misanthrope who secretly hates all of you.

Not much of a secret is it?

galletea:
Well this one made me cringe more than laugh.
The fact that people seriously have these opinions is quite shocking. Kudos to the voices of reason here though.

People are stupid. Gotta learn to deal with that.

@ Wilson: I lol'ed... This one was quite good. You should have asked the WoW forums though...That would have been scary.

@ nilcypher who will definitely hang me for this: Why all the hate on overbearing dickheads?

I'm one of the people that don't get the obsession with girl gamers... eesh, if you got stomped, why's it matter if they've got dangly bits or not?

That said, the thought that 'only unattractive women game' is obnoxious too. I know women who game who are indeed good looking. I know some who are hideous.

It's like any other hobby, you get all sorts of different people.

Prejudice is a bad habit that many people pick up without being aware of it. Gamer Girl = Unattractive is like Fat = Lazy or Black = Ghetto Trash. Some prejudices are less politically correct than others, but they're all basically the same logical mistake: judging before you know a person is foolish. When you overgeneralize things into a category, it's a loss of fidelity. When you overgeneralize a person, it's injustice. What to do about it? Condemn ignorance, try to educate others - that's all you can do.

my girlfriend is living proof that hot gamer grrrls exist.... and she doesn't just play Rock Band, either! she's down for stuff like left4dead, mass effect, soul calibur and forza 2.... a lot of guys have told me how lucky i am, and i tend to agree......

EDIT: sorry, forgot to say thanks for another great episode of "Ask the Internet"... i always love reading these....

Is that GameTrailers there? They have quite possibly the worst community in the entire world... the most idiotic group of pathetic, disgusting, misinformed, militant, jackoff tweenagers I have ever seen in my entire life. Sometimes when I glance at the main page for new videos I get pulled into the forums with a thread title, and vomit almost always ensues. I even signed up one time to correct an error some poster had made in an advice thread, and my reply was ignored on the basis of my community score or whatever not being high enough. The guy then proceeded to follow the incorrect advice the other members gave him. I wanted to stick a drill bit in my ear.

Really, I can't believe that people like this actually exist. People think that I'm an antisocial jerk when I make broad, sweeping generalisations about the idiocy, ignorance, and general trashiness of the rest of the human population, but it's all true. You might not think opinions like the ones above are widespread, but they most certainly, definitely are, and not just among children, but a huge portion of adults as well. Fuck, what a horrible, wretched world.

wow. well, at least i learned something. you (the person reading this) are a fucking moron and theres a 99% chance that im hideous. thank you internet.