So I was digging around my parents attic the other day, and I stumbled on my original NES. Now, I couldn't make it work, as it's sat for more than 15 years in a bin that, by some miracle, seemed to be the only place that fiberglass insulation existed in that entire house... But back on topic.

I wanted to play Duck Hunt with the zapper gun for it's nostalgia value, because I remember how much fun I used to have with it... This was a happy childhood memory that lasted all of about three seconds, because I remembered the one thing about that game that made me vow never to play it again...

That God Damned Dog.

You know exactly what I'm talking about. You could be a crack shot. You could hit 300 ducks, but the second you missed one, he would pop up to mock you... And you couldn't shoot him.

So I decided to make a list of some of the most annoying video game personas I could come up with and let you decide which one wins.

'Listen', I think that's all that needs to be said. I was going to say Navi and looks like that is an option so I'm satisfied.

What about Cortana? She's freaking annoying when all you have to do is escape. "2 minutes, chief!" Listen, lady, I'm trying to bash heads here. Come back to me when we're on the pelican.

Actually

Indigo_Dingo:
Tingle

All of the other Pilots in Starfox.

Actually, I think Slippy wins that one. I don't care how Annoying Falco and Peppy were... I remember vividly playing through Star Fox 64 for the first time and continually screaming "DAMMIT SLIPPY! STAY OUT OF MY WAY!"

perfectimo:
'Listen', I think that's all that needs to be said. I was going to say Navi and looks like that is an option so I'm satisfied.

Agreed.

Ah man, you picked some annoying characters too. Its' really hard to decide on which is the most annoying. Though I think Tails is a little gay, I don't think of him as annoying. Navi was just a pointless little insect that pestered you over the littlest of things and hardly had anything interesting to tell you. But at least you could ignore her pestering after an hour or so.

I don't remember the dog much, so I can't judge him either.

I've also never played Resident Evil 4, because I'm not a Resident Evil gamer fan. (Blasphemy, I know) I scare pretty easily, especially when using characters that usually die in a few hits. XP

I've seen the videos for it though and I believe Ashely has to be the most useless character I've ever seen. All she does is kick and scream while being carted off by the undead. Never uses a gun or anything that I know of. Yep, the sterotypical helpless woman that can't do anything on their own without a big strong guy to help them.

What a bunch of bull.

Ashley must burn! XP

4thegreatergood:
What about Cortana? She's freaking annoying when all you have to do is escape. "2 minutes, chief!" Listen, lady, I'm trying to bash heads here. Come back to me when we're on the pelican.

Yeah, but your talking about the final few minutes of the game. Not enough to deem her as annoying character. . .

However, I DID find it annoying having to go through those flashes, causing Chief to stop in place and wait a few seconds before doing anything else. Wish there was an off button for that.

Indigo_Dingo:
It was an equal thing. While Slippys shrill voice and incompetence was annoying, Peppys constant critiquing my technique and Falcos egomaniacal assholism make them all equal jerkoffs in my book.

Well, Falco at least had a personality, so I forgave his ego based on the fact that he wasn't one of your (if you can excuse the unintended pun) two-dimensional characters that Nintendo comes up with and that we all have to accept as if they've been there all along. *cough*Waluigi*coughcough* And Peppy was a lot less annoying than Slippy, at least for me. I didn't take him personally. He was the tutorial character, and I managed to tune out about 90% of everything he said based on the fact that I did something radical, even for that day and age, and read the manual before I started playing.

roman and brucie from gta 4. NO I DONT WANT TO GO ON DATES WITH YOU STOP FUCKING CALLING ME YOU PRICKS

Pffft non of these characters come close to the characters in FF and GS, they spew so much useless dialogue I had to give myself a break now and again.

Indigo_Dingo:
Moira Brown. No other explanation is neccesary.

That one I agree with.

You have a perfectly good merc standing in your shop. Someone is paying him. Get your money's worth and go send him out to do some of this crap!

jokr2thief:
Actually

Indigo_Dingo:
Tingle

All of the other Pilots in Starfox.

Actually, I think Slippy wins that one. I don't care how Annoying Falco and Peppy were... I remember vividly playing through Star Fox 64 for the first time and continually screaming "DAMMIT SLIPPY! STAY OUT OF MY WAY!"

"Dinosaur Planet is SAVED!" Yes, there is no argument that Slippy belongs on this list, but, all in all, I think that Ashley deserves 1st place here. Think about it, all the other options are at least, in some way, at some point in time at least the tiniest bit useful. Tails could fly, Navi gave you the weakpoint of a few bosses (God knows that's her ONLY good feature. I don't know how much longer I could have sat there through barrages of "LOOK! LISTEN!") Slippy was a pain in the ass, but at least he was a part of the team, and Waluigi? Well...OK, Waluigi was just a prick. But regardless, at least the story was somewhat made better with their presence. As for Ashley? She was just...God, she was AWFUL! Please, riddle me this: What use could she possibly solve? She was useless! And that VOICE! I know it wasn't horrible, but when it's the same place as that God awful dialogue of hers, and don't get me wrong, I loved resi 4, there's really no contest. I mean, shouldn't the president's daughter have some means of self defense a little more useful than cowering in front of homicidal psychopaths? For me, this was a contest between Navi, Ashley, and Slippy. But, in all honesty, Ashley simply has to win. At least to me.

Nazulu:
Pffft non of these characters come close to the characters in FF and GS, they spew so much useless dialogue I had to give myself a break now and again.

You can't really hold that against them. They're JRPGs. They thrive on pointless exposition. They use it as a means of lengthening gameplay... With out it, FF7 would have fit on one CD.

Blair Bennett:

"Dinosaur Planet is SAVED!" Yes, there is no argument that Slippy belongs on this list, but, all in all, I think that Ashley deserves 1st place here. Think about it, all the other options are at least, in some way, at some point in time at least the tiniest bit useful. Tails could fly, Navi gave you the weakpoint of a few bosses (God knows that's her ONLY good feature. I don't know how much longer I could have sat there through barrages of "LOOK! LISTEN!") Slippy was a pain in the ass, but at least he was a part of the team, and Waluigi? Well...OK, Waluigi was just a prick. But regardless, at least the story was somewhat made better with their presence. As for Ashley? She was just...God, she was AWFUL! Please, riddle me this: What use could she possibly solve? She was useless! And that VOICE! I know it wasn't horrible, but when it's the same place as that God awful dialogue of hers, and don't get me wrong, I loved resi 4, there's really no contest. I mean, shouldn't the president's daughter have some means of self defense a little more useful than cowering in front of homicidal psychopaths? For me, this was a contest between Navi, Ashley, and Slippy. But, in all honesty, Ashley simply has to win. At least to me.

Actually, Waluigi didn't have a story. He was just sort of plopped down in the middle. He was first introduced in Mario Tennis. You don't have to have a lot of back story for Mario Sports... Though they kind of piss me off. If you're going to make a sports game, be it Tennis, Basketball, Baseball, Football, Soccer, Hockey or Full-Contact Underwater Basket Weaving, the game should be able to stand on it's own merits without having to rely on milking the gimmics from another franchise.

And if you're basing it on useful, Ashely did help you open a door... Once. You couldn't progress in the game until she did... Of course that's about where her useful ends and she just becomes a second health meter that you had to stop from hitting zero.

jokr2thief:

Blair Bennett:

"Dinosaur Planet is SAVED!" Yes, there is no argument that Slippy belongs on this list, but, all in all, I think that Ashley deserves 1st place here. Think about it, all the other options are at least, in some way, at some point in time at least the tiniest bit useful. Tails could fly, Navi gave you the weakpoint of a few bosses (God knows that's her ONLY good feature. I don't know how much longer I could have sat there through barrages of "LOOK! LISTEN!") Slippy was a pain in the ass, but at least he was a part of the team, and Waluigi? Well...OK, Waluigi was just a prick. But regardless, at least the story was somewhat made better with their presence. As for Ashley? She was just...God, she was AWFUL! Please, riddle me this: What use could she possibly solve? She was useless! And that VOICE! I know it wasn't horrible, but when it's the same place as that God awful dialogue of hers, and don't get me wrong, I loved resi 4, there's really no contest. I mean, shouldn't the president's daughter have some means of self defense a little more useful than cowering in front of homicidal psychopaths? For me, this was a contest between Navi, Ashley, and Slippy. But, in all honesty, Ashley simply has to win. At least to me.

And if you're basing it on useful, Ashely did help you open a door... Once. You couldn't progress in the game until she did... Of course that's about where her useful ends and she just becomes a second health meter that you had to stop from hitting zero.

You mean the door on the island right before the bulldozer section? Because, if so, I still don't understand why Leon didn't do that himself. Maybe he realized that it was the only use he was going to get out of Ashley, and he didn't want to needlessly get his clothes dirty. Speaking of the bulldozer section, does anyone else seem to understand why they had the Britney Spears sort of secondary clothing option for Ashley after she violently crashes the thing? For me, I always find that the game just makes more sense after seeing that.

WAIT A MINUTE!!!! You don't have Tricky from SF:AoDP on there. Three words:

BADGUY! HUNGRY! PLAY!

He was like the Furby that you couldn't throw at the wall. I vote him right next to Navi.

I put Brucie, but he's really a stand-in for Roman.

Roman: "Hey cousin, let us go drinking!"
Niko: "Sorry Roman, I need a good head on my shoulders right now."
Me: "What he means is 'f*** off you f***er and stop calling me in the middle of missions.'"

Blair Bennett:

You mean the door on the island right before the bulldozer section? Because, if so, I still don't understand why Leon didn't do that himself. Maybe he realized that it was the only use he was going to get out of Ashley, and he didn't want to needlessly get his clothes dirty. Speaking of the bulldozer section, does anyone else seem to understand why they had the Britney Spears sort of secondary clothing option for Ashley after she violently crashes the thing? For me, I always find that the game just makes more sense after seeing that.

Actually, it was a lot earlier than that. It was after you first rescued her and she had to stand on Leon's shoulders to get over the door and unbar it from the other side. I always thought that the bulldozer didn't count. To me that just another nail in the coffin that is her uselessness.

jokr2thief:

Blair Bennett:

You mean the door on the island right before the bulldozer section? Because, if so, I still don't understand why Leon didn't do that himself. Maybe he realized that it was the only use he was going to get out of Ashley, and he didn't want to needlessly get his clothes dirty. Speaking of the bulldozer section, does anyone else seem to understand why they had the Britney Spears sort of secondary clothing option for Ashley after she violently crashes the thing? For me, I always find that the game just makes more sense after seeing that.

Actually, it was a lot earlier than that. It was after you first rescued her and she had to stand on Leon's shoulders to get over the door and unbar it from the other side. I always thought that the bulldozer didn't count. To me that just another nail in the coffin that is her uselessness.

You mean the part where you can get the Broken Butterfly for free? Alright, you got me there, that was useful, but in a way, I still can't whole heartedly agree, simply because it didn't progress the story in any way. I know, it's a stupid reason, but it sort of makes sense. If not, please elaborate, what room was this in, or what happened immediately before said usefulness. As you know, Ashley is abducted and rescued far too many times for me to be fully accurate in my reply.

Blair Bennett:
You mean the part where you can get the Broken Butterfly for free? Alright, you got me there, that was useful, but in a way, I still can't whole heartedly agree, simply because it didn't progress the story in any way. I know, it's a stupid reason, but it sort of makes sense. If not, please elaborate, what room was this in, or what happened immediately before said usefulness. As you know, Ashley is abducted and rescued far too many times for me to be fully accurate in my reply.

This was really early in the game. It was actually the first area where you found the blue medallions. There's a farmhouse and a door in the back where when you look at it before you find her it says something to the effect of "You know, if someone stood on my shoulders, they could get over this and unlock it from the other side."

Because that's so much more logical than taking the ladder that's three feet away and climbing over the damned thing yourself. All the ladders in that game were apparently bolted to the ground on hinges. The only states they could exist in are laying flat on the ground or leaning against something that you really didn't need a ladder for in the first place.

I'm not too petty to admit that I didn't make it all the way through that game because of Ashley. I got too frustrated and realized that controllers and televisions were never meant to be introduced at 45 MPH and I set it down before I did something destructive and expensive.

jokr2thief:

Nazulu:
Pffft non of these characters come close to the characters in FF and GS, they spew so much useless dialogue I had to give myself a break now and again.

You can't really hold that against them. They're JRPGs. They thrive on pointless exposition. They use it as a means of lengthening gameplay... With out it, FF7 would have fit on one CD.

Yeah I am going to hold that against them, I can ignore Navi but the dialogue in FF and GS are rediculous. You asked for most annoying and I give you the world cup holders of the ultimate irritating game characters ever!

This was really early in the game. It was actually the first area where you found the blue medallions. There's a farmhouse and a door in the back where when you look at it before you find her it says something to the effect of "You know, if someone stood on my shoulders, they could get over this and unlock it from the other side."

Because that's so much more logical than taking the ladder that's three feet away and climbing over the damned thing yourself. All the ladders in that game were apparently bolted to the ground on hinges. The only states they could exist in are laying flat on the ground or leaning against something that you really didn't need a ladder for in the first place.

I'm not too petty to admit that I didn't make it all the way through that game because of Ashley. I got too frustrated and realized that controllers and televisions were never meant to be introduced at 45 MPH and I set it down before I did something destructive and expensive.[/quote]

Oh, yeah! Right, right. I'd forgotten about that. You're absolutely right, her helping you out there was completely necessary (regardless of the ladder xD). You're also right about the controller. That is far too great a speed for the two objects to occupy the same space as one another. Ok, so Ashley is useful at least once or twice throughout the ENTIRE game. Though, at least you can chose to ignore Navi. Now, believe you me, I'm not trying to argue that Navi was not annoying, by any stretch of the imagination. But with Ashley, you just couldn't escape. You couldn't even at least skip the cutscenes because of the quick time events.

Collete from Tales of Symphonia, I love her just as much as all the other characters in that game but she easily had a more annoying voice than Slippy.

I'd have to Say Fiona from Mercs:2 burns my bacon whenever your not doing something it's always "Ya know you can always head back to the PMC if you need something to do." every few minutes or so.

Also, how'd Roman lose to Brucie on your list?

Brucie. Jesus Christ. I'm hoping for a DLC mission that involves kicking him into a woodchipper.

Actually I thought Moira was really entertaining. Sort of a Sheogorath feel to her. You forgot Raiden from MGS2.... UUUGGGHHHH.

Always despised Ashley, Every time she was in trouble I honestly hesitated weighing my option of, "Should I just turn this off?" before saving her.

On that list, Moria.

Ever?

Baten Kaitos.....the whole cast.

Nazulu:

jokr2thief:

Nazulu:
Pffft non of these characters come close to the characters in FF and GS, they spew so much useless dialogue I had to give myself a break now and again.

You can't really hold that against them. They're JRPGs. They thrive on pointless exposition. They use it as a means of lengthening gameplay... With out it, FF7 would have fit on one CD.

Yeah I am going to hold that against them, I can ignore Navi but the dialogue in FF and GS are rediculous. You asked for most annoying and I give you the world cup holders of the ultimate irritating game characters ever!

Ok, I will give you that Yuffie is probably more annoying then any other character to come out of the FF multiverse, or most other gaming mythos. But if you think even she holds a candle to Navi in terms of irritating the player, you are fully mistaken.

johnx61:

Nazulu:

jokr2thief:

Nazulu:
Pffft non of these characters come close to the characters in FF and GS, they spew so much useless dialogue I had to give myself a break now and again.

You can't really hold that against them. They're JRPGs. They thrive on pointless exposition. They use it as a means of lengthening gameplay... With out it, FF7 would have fit on one CD.

Yeah I am going to hold that against them, I can ignore Navi but the dialogue in FF and GS are rediculous. You asked for most annoying and I give you the world cup holders of the ultimate irritating game characters ever!

Ok, I will give you that Yuffie is probably more annoying then any other character to come out of the FF multiverse, or most other gaming mythos. But if you think even she holds a candle to Navi in terms of irritating the player, you are fully mistaken.

Sorry I don't know the FF characters individually anymore because I found them all that annoying and unlike Navi, alot of their conversations are bloody useless. Navi atleasts gives you advise and pin points weaknesses on tougher enemys. Also I didn't have to go through 10 minutes of pressing buttons to get through the dialogue, Navi just helps the player notice things easier instead talking about shit you couldn't give a damn about.

So no fanboy of the FF story's and characters, you are fully mistaken.