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WiiWare's My Fireplace is a Game About a Fireplace

| 13 May 2010 02:45
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If you really want a fireplace, but don't have a fireplace, it's time to pretend you have a fireplace with My Fireplace.

After a scandalous reveal through an ESRB rating, Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L. have officially announced the future release of My Fireplace as a download on Nintendo's WiiWare service. What is My Fireplace? It's a game that hyper-realistically simulates a fireplace. It doesn't do anything else really.

In My Fireplace, virtual wood serves as virtual fuel for virtual fire. Some may say that the only purpose of a fireplace is to provide heat, and that because My Fireplace cannot do so it must be a useless piece of software. Those people don't appreciate the aesthetic value of a fireplace, or the fun a fireplace can provide. My Fireplace will bring with it plenty of virtual heat, which the hot would say is much better than actual heat anyway.

Statistics show that trillions of people die in fireplace-related accidents each year. With My Fireplace, players can enjoy a fire without burning their houses down. They'll prepare the wood, light it, and then stoke it. Stoke like a maniac, or choose the automatic option if you don't want to be troubled by the upkeep of a virtual fire. Due to My Fireplace's realistic graphics, players will likely never choose the automatic action as they won't be able to break their gazes away from the television set.

According to Korner Entertainment, My Fireplace will "surprise you" and has "fireplaces for every occasion completely configurable by every kind of user." Decorate your fire with "Love" or "Christmas" themes and watch the whole dynamic of the once fireplace-less room change for the better.

Does this sound like something anyone would actually want yet? I get the whole aquarium thing on WiiWare or as a screensaver, because users can customize it with unique fish and such. But a fireplace? Real fires can be fun to watch and mess with (but not for kids, kids), but virtual fires sound boring as hell (a hell without fire).

My Fireplace will light WiiWare on fire sometime this year. Get it, fire? Like in the fireplace. Fire is in a fireplace. Forget it.

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