Trying to get Apple to implement this GLaDOS-Siri hybrid would be slow and meaningless, just like your sad little life.
If you were one of the people disappointed by the recently unveiled iPhone 4S, YouTube user bamfer23 has figured out the perfect way for Apple to make it up to you. The recipe is simple: Take one part Siri (iPhone's new artificially intelligent "assistant"), one part GLaDOS (insane killer robot obsessed with testing, neurotoxins, and that extra ten pounds you've been carrying since the holidays), mix, and slather generously on top of one of Apple's product demo videos. The resulting parody is nothing short of brilliant, but unfortunately, bamfer23's idea (much like Chell) will probably never see the light of day.
It amazes me that after all this time people can still squeeze fresh joke juice out of Portal's--let's admit it--overused lemons. After all, there are probably more Portal jokes and parodies hitting the Internet everyday than there are babies being born. Still, when it works, it works, and this is definitely one of those cases.
I don't know much about hacking or modding iPhones (especially not their somewhat creepy voice-activated assistants), but suddenly, I really wish I did. That being said, if any of you Escapists out there are smarter with this stuff than I am, I think you know what must be done. Get to work!
... and let me know when you're finished.