Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the one, the only, the ridiculously sexy Escapist News Team Movember Men [and Women]!
Movember. It's the manliest month of the year. It's a special time, when men around the world come together to say, "We might have something untoward going on up in our corn chutes, and we'd like other men, preferably those with some degree of training, to check it out for us." We drink beer. We swap stories. And by God, we grow mustaches!
Movember is all about reminding ourselves and the world of the importance of men's health. But we don't have great, lovely snoobs to flounce about, so instead we grow hair on our lips. It's a poor substitute that leaves most of us looking like the seediest sorts of criminals, but sometimes the journey to manhood takes you to places you really don't want to go.
But led by our fearless captain, Logan "The Manchester Manchu" Westbrook, we, the Escapist News Team, are going there anyway! And what a team it is, folks: Marshall "The Machismo" Honorof, Mike "Pretty Princess" Thompson, "Other" Mike Kayatta, Paul "Gorgeous" Goodman, Heather "Handlebars" McLellan, yours truly [bringing some much-needed class and dignity to the proceedings] and of course, the News Team Generalissimo herself, Susan Arendt, who despite a genetic predisposition against mustache-growing is doing her part by finally revealing to the world the hideous, lip-borne mutation that has haunted her since birth. Good on ya, Susan!
Nothing drives the chicks crazy like a thick mound of hair riding a lip like it's Patrick Swayze's surfboard, but Movember is about more than just impressing the ladies. It's about supporting a good cause. So support us - support good health - and above all else, support mustaches - at the official News Room Stashes page at Movember.com. Kick in a few bucks, send us a message and show us you care. And keep an eye on this space, because we'll be posting regular updates of all these luscious bad boys as they blossom into truly fearsome heartbreakers. That's right, ladies - we're just getting started.