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Peruvian Scientists Discover Alien Corpse

| 22 Nov 2011 18:04
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Either somebody in Peru turned on the big head mode cheat, or there is something seriously off about this pile of bones.

The image at right depicts a mummified body recently unearthed by Peruvian anthropologist Renato Davila Riquelme that he believes is an extraterrestrial. Or, more specifically, that he originally believed to be a deformed human child, before Russian scientists swooped in and said, "Да друга. То есть чужой."

(Roughly translated: "Yup, that's an alien.")

Never one to question the scientific expertise of the country that spawned Zangief, Riquelme issued the following statement to Peru's RPP news service:

It has a non-human appearance because the head is triangular and big, almost the same size as the body. At first we believed it to be a child's body until Spanish and Russian doctors came and confirmed that, yes, it's an extraterrestrial being.

Here in America however, we have a long and storied history of doubting the Russians, so I would like to posit the possibly controversial idea that maybe, just maybe, this is actually a human. I'm thinking it was a child who was either born with a horrific deformity or whose skull was shaped via primitive socioreligious ritual.

Granted, if Riquelme had been approached by adorable British scientists making the claim, I would probably be writing an alarmist warning against the imminent invasion of giant-headed extraterrestrials, but the Cold War only ended two decades back, so I'm pretty sure this is a communist ploy to steal our precious bodily fluids somehow.

Source: RPP, via io9

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