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Ben Heck's Latest Panders To The Lazy, Hungry

| 23 Jan 2012 17:58

Want a Hot Pocket, but don't want to stop playing Modern Warfare? Console modder extraordinaire Ben Heckendorn has you covered.

You remember Ben Heck, right? He's the dude who made this time-saving Xbox 360 disc changer, this PlayStation 3 laptop and this glorious pinball tribute to the legend that is Bill Paxton.

The dude knows how to make cool stuff, is what I'm saying.

His latest invention however blurs the line between "cool" and "the ultimate expression of mankind's sloth." In short, the device is designed to feed a player Hot Pockets while he or she plays videogames. I'm almost positive that violates one of the Ten Commandments.

Don't get me wrong, I'm always impressed by Mr. Heckendorn's skill with a wrench (and his kind, patient way of walking viewers through his process), but this device is the physical incarnation of every stereotype of the lazy, fat gamer. And I say that as a dude who totally loves Hot Pockets!

Still, like I said, you can't really fault Ben here. He's just a maker. He creates things to appease the masses. If anything, you people should turn your accusatory fingers back on yourselves. It is your own sloth and greed that has spawned this device. Your own unwillingness to walk to the freezer, pull out a Hot Pocket, put it into that magical little sleeve, pop it into a microwave, and beep-boop-beep the proper amount of time onto the keypad forced Ben to build this thing. He is just a vessel through which the ideas of the collective flow, and you people, you are the ones who did this.

I'd ask you all to hang your heads in shame, but that seems like a lot of effort. Wouldn't want to tax those coagulated arteries of yours.

Source: Element 14

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