The Republican Party of Maine has set up a hilarious website warning voters against a Democrat candidate for Senate who "stabs things... a lot."
This is really more of a point-and-laugh post (or a point-and-boggle, or point-and-despair, depending on your perspective) and if you don't like such things you may as well clear out now, because that's what we're going to be doing. Everyone else, gather 'round and listen to the tale of Colleen's World, a website dedicated to Colleen Lachowicz, Democrat candidate for the State Senate of Maine. You might think that Colleen or her people are behind the site, but no, it's actually her opponents, state Republicans. "In Colleen's fantasy world, she gets away with crude, vicious and violent comments," it warns. "Maine needs a State Senator that lives in the real world, not in Colleen's fantasy world."
Colleen's fantasy world is the World of Warcraft, and the Republicans have dug up a pile of old forum posts and posted them on the site alongside a picture of Santiaga, her level 85 Orc Assassination Rogue. And some of this stuff is absolute gold. The first message, from April 2009, states, "So I'm a level 68 orc rogue girl. That means I stab things... a lot... Who would have thought that a peace-lovin', social worker and democrat would enjoy that?" And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
One message calls for a fairer tax policy in the U.S. before concluding that she may need to find conservative activist and Americans for Tax Reform founder Grover Norquist and drown him in her bathtub. She also joked about being in a "socialist guild" and later expounded upon the virtues of being able to kill stuff without going to jail, adding, "There some days when this is more necessary than others." In 2010 she was apparently looking for help to "dickpunch Arthas" and also expressed confusion about why the undead eat but don't pee. Various other posts acknowledge being lazy, goofing off at work and, perhaps worst of all, expressing support for policies of the Obama administration and non-partisan initiatives.
In what I can only assume is some bizarre nuance of American politics, Colleen's World carries a boldfaced, all-caps warning that the site is "not authorized by any candidate," but the Maine Republican Party nonetheless issued a same-day press release questioning Lachowicz's fitness for office because of her Warcrafting ways. After tossing out a few stats, including that the average player spends 22.7 hours per week in the game, party spokesman David Sorensen commented on a few of her choicest statements.
"These are some very bizarre and offensive comments, and they certainly raise questions about Lachowicz's maturity and her ability to make serious decisions for the people of Senate District 25," he said. A link to Colleen's World was provided along with a promise that "mail pieces," which I assume are the postcards pictured below, are being sent out to all voters in the appropriate district.
It's hard to believe that this is what Republicans have decided to seize on as an issue, but the troubling part is that for at least a few voters, it'll probably work.