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A Monopoly Origin Story Is Coming to Theaters

| 28 Oct 2015 12:43
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Let's hope the tickets cost less than 200 dollars.

In what either represents the nadir of Hollywood creativity or the apex of brand synergy, Deadline is reporting that Hasbro's Monopoly -- as in monocles, thimbles, do-not-pass-Go Monopoly -- will be receiving a big budget, theatrical origin story compliments of Big Beach films.

The script will be penned by Howard A. Rodman and based on Mary Pilon's nonfiction novel The Monopolists: Obsession, Fury, and the Scandal Behind the World's Favorite Board Game (as well as Ralph Anspach's memoir The Billion Dollar Monopoly Swindle), with Little Miss Sunshine producers Marc Turtletaub and Peter Saraf teaming up with Narc's Diane Nabatoff to make this fever dream a reality.

According to Nabatoff, the novels upon which the Monopoly film will be based will turn our perceptions of the board game "on its head."

"No one will ever look at the Monopoly board in the same way again," said Nabatoff, clearly never having sat through the bitter, profanity-laced, table-flipping hellscape that the average game of Monopoly oft disintegrates into. But in any case, think of *this* Monopoly movie as the dark, gritty, DC-esque answer to the family-friendly, Marvel-esque Monopoly movie currently in production over at Lionsgate.

As of this write up, no director or stars have been locked in for the picture, but given that Monopoly was originally designed to teach the dangers of monopolies and capitalism to our nation's youth, I can think of only one person who is fit to play the movie's monocle-sporting titular character.

bernie sanders

Don't give me that look, you guys. I was always more of a Life fan, anyways.

Source: Deadline

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