The Mark Twain jokes should be flying fast and furious because as it turns out, Steve Jobs is not actually dead.
Jobs' not-quite-demise was reported by Bloomberg, although the numerous placeholders and incomplete information in the obituary, not to mention the list of people to call for comment in the event of his death, made it clear the public release was a mistake. However, Jobs' battle with pancreatic cancer and ongoing concerns over his recent physical appearance have left people a bit jumpy about the state of his health and perhaps somewhat more susceptible to premature reports of his passing.
Bloomberg has, predictably, retracted the report, saying it was "inadvertently published" and adding, "The item was never meant for publication and has been retracted." The report of Jobs' death contains no new information about his health, and according to Gawker, having this sort of pre-cooked obituary standing by is actually quite common for news organizations. Gawker has the full obituary, along with the retraction, here.
So, good news for Apple fans, and of course, for Steve Jobs himself. Just a pity he wasn't able to turn the exaggerated report of his death into a pithy quote.