Ozzy Osbourne Turns 60

Ozzy Osbourne, the Godfather of Heavy Metal, turned 60 today, but for some reason I'm the one who's feeling old.

The Madman managed to close out six decades of drawing breath despite years of epic self-inflicted abuse, both as the original lead singer of Black Sabbath and later in an equally successful solo career. Ozzy's exploits have grown into the stuff of legend: Biting off the head of a dove and a bat, urinating on the Alamo and being sued for driving teenagers to suicide with his music.

In more recent years, however, he's come to be known better for his befuddled ramblings on the MTV reality show The Osbournes, which followed the day-to-day life of Ozzy, his wife Sharon and two of their children, Jack and Kelly, casting the Prince of Darkness in an all-new light. Since then, his incoherence and incapacity, although largely an affectation, have become a point of humor and affectionate derision, not to mention a lucrative marketing tool: Ozzy's mumble has featured prominently in recent ad campaigns for both Samsung and World of Warcraft.

So congratulations and happy birthday, Ozzy, and best wishes for many more. We never thought you'd make it this far.