Star Wars: Retold by Someone Who Never Saw It

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Chewbacca was but a deformed ewok while Hans Solo and Luke the farmer totally made out.

The original Star Wars trilogy. One of the greatest and most celebrated science-fiction tales of our time, reconstructed and re-released many times over, with an entire culture built around it. If you are a human being living in a modern civilization, it is almost statistically impossible for you not have at least a very basic knowledge of George Lucas' universe.

Of course, if you haven't actually watched the films and have merely absorbed said basic knowledge of the original trilogy, you probably have a pretty mixed-up idea of how all those fantastic pieces fit together. Behold.