Due to the drastic decline in people playing PSN oddity Noby Noby Boy, the game's red planet content may not get unlocked for another 2000 days.
Shame on you. Yes, you. You know who you are. You bought Noby Noby Boy, having heard about how weird and wacky it is, how it puts penguins on the moon and contains poop. Maybe you were baffled by what exactly the game is, or maybe you just moved onto greener pastures. Whatever it was, you, and a bunch of other shameful folks, stopped playing Noby Noby Boy. And because of that, GIRL's never going to get to Mars.
In Noby Noby Boy, players can report the length of their BOY character to GIRL, a giant uh, thing, in space. The more players report their lengths and the longer those lengths become, the more GIRL stretches out into the galaxy, unlocking new planets. In the days following the game's release, gamers managed to get GIRL to her first destination - the moon - no problem.
Now, however, Noby Noby Boy's player base has dwindled. According to a site tracking in-game stats, in the past month players-per-day has drifted in the 1500-2000 range, sometimes falling as low as 1000 at times. There have been around 60,000 people who have tried the game, and there are 300-500 new players a day, but it seems like nobody bothers to stick around.
Which means that there's barely anybody around to report to GIRL, which means she can't grow. At this rate, it'll take 2000 days for her to get her ass to Mars, apparently.
Suddenly the Total Recall jokes don't seem that funny.