Image Credit: Bethesda
Forgot password
Enter the email address you used when you joined and we'll send you instructions to reset your password.
If you used Apple or Google to create your account, this process will create a password for your existing account.
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Reset password instructions sent. If you have an account with us, you will receive an email within a few minutes.
Something went wrong. Try again or contact support if the problem persists.

Stolen Pixels #54: Dead or More Dead 4

This article is over 15 years old and may contain outdated information

image

[folder_nav]image
[folder_nav]

There is a saying in golf, “If you can’t learn to play well, learn to enjoy playing it poorly.” This is exactly my approach to fighting games. I’m not a hyperactive teenager cranked out on Mountain Dew, so I don’t really meet the prerequisites for winning at this sort of thing. I paw ineptly at the controller and then Gruesome Things happen to my character for the next thirty seconds. Then the game calls me a loser and asks if I would like to have that happen to me again. For some unfathomable reason, I usually say, “Yes.”

As the computer torments my avatar, I’m vaguely aware that somewhere on GameFAQs there is probably a flowchart that, if I had a massive computerized brain, would allow me to follow through its many permutations until I discover the thread that leads to victory.

But really I’m just here to watch the ninja girl in her underpants beat up the emo guy with no shirt. I don’t see how that can ever get old.

Shamus Young is a programmer and writer by trade, videogame nitpicker by inclination. If you have the patience for more of his ramblings, they can be found at ShamusYoung.com.

Recommended Videos

The Escapist is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission.Ā Learn more about our Affiliate Policy